Ah! My Naruto
by Gmusick
Summary: [Naruto x Ah! My Goddess x Darkstalkers] When forces beyond his imagination start moving, Naruto is granted one wish. What he gains is a friend but also a new destiny that may span several worlds and an ever increasing headache.
1. Act I 01: The Wish

**Naruto: Ah! My Naruto**

By ghettomusick23

**Act I: Chapter 01 – The Wish**

Disclaimer: Don't own a single piece of property, if I did I wouldn't be writing this.

"I told you not to come near my kid but you didn't listen and now you're going to pay for it," the man growled, making sure to put as much hate and loathing into his voice as possible.

Naruto grunted from his spot on the ground, his face in the dirt and his mind trying to focus on something other than the incredible pain. But it was hard, so very hard to even get back up. Whatever the man had hit him with had managed to put him in enough pain to stop even his miraculous powers of healing to help.

"All I asked her was did she want to go play," Naruto managed to get out with a gasp of pain. _What the hell did he hit me with?_

With a snarl of rage the man reared back and sent a brutal kick into Naruto's unprotected ribs that sent the blonde ninja in training into a nearby wall.

Naruto could hear the people milling about and not a single one of them doing something about the violence taking place in front of them. With a valiant effort he managed to push himself up on shaky arms staring up at his attacker, determination shining the whole time.

"One day, one day you'll see that you can't keep me down then you won't have a choice but to respect me."

Any retort by the other man was cut off with the sight of several shinobi coming near the closed off alley, and without a look back or another word, Naruto was left to his own thoughts and struggling to make his way home.

"He lives such a harsh life," said a female voice, her words easily filling the wide work space. The speaker was a beautiful woman, bronze skinned andplatinum haired. Her clothing an immaculate robe made of the finest materials in any realm.

Her companion, a brown haired, blue eyed woman that radiated an aura of peace and stability that could calm the angriest of beast, could only nod in answer. No words could really justify what they were watching.

"Sadly, that is to be expected of those that carry the burden of housing the Bijuu."

With her fist wrapped tight in anger, the older two of the women focused on not speaking the words that were on the edge of her tongue. Instead, deciding to go the diplomatic route for once. "I know the reasons, and why we never stop this from happening but that doesn't mean I got to like it."

Neither did she. The Bijuu, as the demons were called in thisworld, were viewed as unstoppable beast that roamed the land and caused utter destruction wherever they went. What neither the ignorant nor observant knew, was that they were former super high class demons created by the army's of Nifleheim by combining staggering amounts of negative energy and ki in order to aid in the destruction of Asgard.

Unstoppable would not begin to describe the power they held. During the millennia long war they wrought destruction on a scale few beings in either rank could compare, and for a long time there was no visible way to stop them. Asgard was losing badly, and if nothing was done the war would be over and all hope would be lost. The answer or solution presented itself in startling fashion.

The overall appearance the Bijuu held was that of beast, but their minds were all too human and as such were fallible to the same whims of all human minds. Rumors were purposely spread among the land about who was the more powerful, who was viewed as the favored in Hild's eyes, and who struck the most fear in the warriors of Asgard. It wasn't long before contempt and deceit settled into their ranks, and the beast began to turn on each other, and after several battles it was becoming quickly apparent that Nifleheim and its forces were suffering the same incalculable losses.

In lue of the losses being suffered on both sides a truce was called, and cautiously the two sides sought out a way to destroy the Bijuu. Battles were fought and lost, plans were made and discarded, but through all of that there was no end in sight. The Bijuu were just as strong, growing more powerful by the day and neither side could stop the wanton killing of their people.

Miraculously a plan was finally found. The beast, no longer able to be beat in any way physically manner would have to be sent into another plane. Someplace where in due time, however many years or generations it took, the forces of Asgard and Nifleheim would be able to come up with a way to destroy the beast. That was how this world came into existence. Their own veritable OZ.

"You think this world will ever get a clue," the bronze skinned woman asked curious.

"I don't know Urd," the younger stated. "They have a purpose and Kami-sama wills that we not interfere unless needed."

With a reluctant sigh Urd tried to let go and ease the knot of frustration curling in her gut. Her sister was right. The people in this world were keeping one of her mother's worst creations at bay, and until they were able to think up some way to completely destroy them this nonsense of sealing the beast inside children would continue for many years to come.

"How long have you been watching him," Belldandy asked.

A shrug before Urd bothered to say, "A couple of years. He's been a sort of side project for me a little bit."

"You haven't …"

Belldandy's question was cut off before she could finish. "Haven't had to. He has more spunk and determination than anyone I can remember in recent memory. He's managed to hold up well considering the circumstances."

"I can agree with that," Belldandy agreed, admiration shining in her voice.

Turning from the terminal Urd raised an eyebrow before asking her younger sister, "So what brings my dear sister up to the capital of boring?" The Relief Line was anything but exciting during certain down periods of down-time.

The smile on Belldandy's face faltered for just a second before it left like it never happened, but Urd knew her sister too well to not notice. Looking at her Urd thought she looked almost apprehensive. If her sister, the only person she knew that could find a silver lining in almost any situation was worried…

"Kami-sama thinks a situation is building concerning the Bijuu. One that we may need to directly influence the swing of things in order to keep the balance."

Urd's startled reaction didn't begin to do justice to the almost vice like dread in her gut.

* * *

Opening the door to his small apartment, Naruto wearily made his way toward the inviting picture of this small bed. Normally, the proper thing to do would have been to go to the hospital and see if anything was broken. Of course like everything else in his life, such an action would have probably ended up painful and life threatening. The fact that he was allowed to be beaten so thoroughly in the first place was testament that there was some unspoken rule in this village that everyone strove toward making his life hell.

Almost throwing himself in the bed he reached out toward the telephone that sat at the head of his bed, his ails and worries dying into barely recognized background filter. The whole purpose of this evening's expedition had been to get the information on this one little slip of paper. Trying to befriend the girl was sort of a last minute try at gaining a friend. I didn't work out like he planned, but looking at the number Naruto figured the ass whoopin was worth it.

Now giddy in excitement, he punched the number into the telephone and waited for the voice on the other end.

'_Hello, this is the Goddess Relief Hotline, give me just a moment and I'll be there to process your request.'_

_'What the hell?'_ Naruto looked at the phone and then the number he'd hastily sketched on the paper. His hand writing was ugly, borderline offensive in a way, and he could barely make out his own writing, but he knew he wrote the number down right. His eavesdropping skills were top notch.

His hand began to dial in the number again when he heard the sound of footsteps in his room. Dropping the phone, he hopped off the bed, whirling into an awkward looking defensive crouch.

"Take it easy short stuff. I'm not here to hurt you."

Naruto didn't move, eyeing what was clearly a woman in undisguised wariness. Bronze colored skin,platinum coloredhair that almost seemed to cascade down her back; she was dressed in robes that tantalized his eyes artfully. Any other moment he would found her beautiful, but she was in his home and he wanted to know why.

_'Maybe she's another one of those thief's that come by so often. Or can she be the girls mother or something.'_

Something seemed to flash in her eyes and Naruto prepared himself in case the woman attacked.

"I'm not a robber, nor a thief. I'm not here to poke, prod, or hit you. I came her to grant you a wish and that's what I'm going to do," she said.

_'She's a shinobi too. What the hell kinda jutsu is that?'_

"No I'm not a ninja or using any kinda base level magic you people use."

That she read his thoughts was scary enough to make him look at her in no amount of small wonder. "Who are you?

Striking a pose before gracing him with a smile and small bow she said," I'm Urd, Goddess of the Past, Second Class, First Category, Limited."

By now Naruto was easing out his crouch and looking around his room to see if this was some form of practical joke. He'd pulled a lot of them in his short time, and the thought of someone trying to pay him back didn't sound as ridiculous as it seemed. Crawling over the bed he searched in every corner, looking both under and over the cluttered junk in his room.

"Okay lady you can stop playing now." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "You almost got me to believing you. How did you read my mind? Is that some kind of jutsu?"

His reply must have been the wrong thing to say, because the woman's face lost the easy look she'd been wearing since she'd popped up in his room.

"I told you once that it's not like that. Look just make your wish and I'll be out your hair," Urd managed to say without sparking him for irritating her so much.

As with everything in his life, Naruto didn't follow any type of command or order. Glaring defiantly at the woman, he crossed his arms and asked, "Why should I believe you? You just popped up in her and I know I locked the doors."

Urd wanted to rant at him but stopped herself from making a mistake. She hadn't lied when she told Belldandy he was a project of hers. She'd been keeping an eye on Naruto for years. Drawn to him after witnessing the sacrifice his father made in order to save his people. Watching him grow up hadn't been pleasant. In the twelve years she watched him from infant to child she'd been reminded that people, no matter how human they were could stoop todispicable levels of indecency when life placed them in uncomfortable situations. The loss of life had been great but to take it out on a child no less…

Taking a deep breath, popping her neck from side to side, Urd regarded the youth in front of her, a smile gracing herangelic features. As if coming to a silent decision, she asked him a question he never would have guessed in a million years, not counting the one she just asked.

"Why don't we sit down and you can tell me about your life. Anything you want, I'll listen and try to help you out as best as I can."

He looked at her, _really _looked at her and could see the sincerity in the request. Her green eyes were an open book and before he could help himself and question the sensibility of unloading himself on a complete stranger, someone that not five minutes ago he thought was trying to kill him, he started talking. With his head down and shoulders slumped, he didn't see the small affectionate smile on her face or that she somehow directed him to take a seat and was sitting right next to him listening to his every word.

* * *

If anyone saw the woman in person, a load of presumptions would be made. One was that her very being screamed danger. Not in the physical sense of the word, but she carried an air of restrained power and sophistication. In earlier times, she would have seemed to to be nobility. The sight of her talking to the young blonde would have drawn startled eyes, but nothing could and would have startled more people than her uninhibited laughter. A sound that almost rivaled that of the Uzumaki. .

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. What a moron. I can't believe he fell for that."

Naruto clutched his stomach, laughing along with his new friend. "You should have seen his face. He was so angry he almost scorched a hole through his hat."

The mental imagery was good enough to make her break out in another fit of laughter. If Naruto was good for one thing, it was for telling jokes. She couldn't remember a time when she'd laughed so hard in her life. Just the thought of sabotaging someone's food with a crap load of wasabi almost sent her into another fit of giggles.

Urd complimented the blond ninja. "I give you one thing, you give as good as you get."

Naruto beamed at the compliment. Sheepishly running a hand through the back of his hair he said, "Yea. I play pranks cause I'm not too good at fighting right now." The fact that he even admitted it brought a smile to Urd's face, but in the very next breath he showed the other side of him that drew her to his plight. "But that wont last long. I'm going to be the best Hokage ever, better than even the old man."

Coming down from another fit of giggles Urd said, "That's a pretty big goal you got there. These Hokage's of yours are pretty good. The best of them could even make a good showing in my world."

"Really," Naruto asked.

"Oh yea." Urd answered. "The Yondaime was an extremely powerful person. Powerful enough to draw the attention of several high ranking officers in my world."

Naruto never bothered thinking how outlandish the whole comment sounded. His curiosity was peaked and an angry mob of villagers wouldn't be able to pull him away from now.

"Are there a lot of powerful people where you live? Are they stronger than the Hokage? Are you really strong? Can you teach me anything?" The questions were coming in a rapid fire volley and Urd struggled to even understand what he was saying.

Holding up a hand she managed to stop his questions, sighing at the baby blue puppy dog eyes that were having an unconscious effect on her. "Sheesh, when you look like that who can argue."

"As for your first question, yes there are a lot of strong people where I live. Are they stronger than the Hokage? Yes. Am I strong? I believe I'm stronger than anyone on this planet right now. Can I teach you anything? Not without overstepping and bulldozing my way through lots and lots of red tape at the moment. Heaven frowns upon us coming down and meddling with the affairs of the grounded."

In a spark in forewarning Urd could see the words forming on the lips of Naruto. Moving faster than anyone he'd seen she clapped her hand over his mouth, stopping him from making a mistake.

"I know what you're going to say and if that's what you really want I can't stop you. But think hard about what you really want in this life, what's the one thing you want beyond all else."

Naruto dropped his head and did as she asked because it was a good question. His dream, the one wish he always thought would mean more than anything was to become Hokage. By now everyone in the village and beyond knew that, but if he used his wish on it would it even be worth it? With a snort of derision, he knew he didn't need to rectify that question with an answer. He might not have the most talent or the best skills like that Sasuke bastard in his class, but he had the drive to work toward his goal himself and that was going to help him make it. So that left him to wonder what did he really want and like a light turning on in a room full of darkness he knew.

When he looked up the two of them locked eyes and Urd _knew_ on some instinctual level what he was going to say. Briefly she considered asking her sister how she felt when Keichii made a similar sounding wish whenever she had the free time. The words left his mouth and there was a montage of images that flashed through her eyes as the wish processed, some of them from her earlier travels as a Goddess in training and subsequent adventures, but most of them were of her time living in the Morisato residence and she wondered if she would have as much fun in her new life.

* * *

If Belldandy was one thing, it was faithful. In times of strife and need she never ever doubted that good would triumph over any problem in the end. But this, but this time there was a seed of doubt her prayers could not seem to vanquish. What started as an inquiry into her sister's safety was now blossoming into full blown doubt. The world below them was harsh, ruled by constant warfare and criminals that could make a home in the lowest bowels of hell.

"You worry for her," a male voice asked.

Belldandy reluctantly nodded. Not wanting to seem as if she was losing faith in front of the Almighty.

"That is to be expected. I'm sure you've read the reports our operatives have sent."

"Yes I have." Belldandy answered.

"Then you know that this is a needed precaution."

In her mind she knew that but knowing and believing were the two things she just couldn't do at the moment. Despite the sense of peace that surrounded her by being in his very presence it did nothing to quell her uneasiness.

The Almighty walked toward her, a soft smile gracing his graying, fatherly visage. The image in front of her wasn't his real form. The Almighty regularly took the image that would provide his children the most comforting presence.

"Do you believe in her," he asked softly. At her nod, he continued in the same fatherly tone he always used with her. "You have done great things Belldandy and will continue to do so. Through the help and support of your sisters and the young mortal you have grown leaps and bounds emotionally and spiritually. Now it is your sister's turn to make the same journey to help find herself. Nothing happens by chance my dear. Have faith and she'll pull through with flying colors."

When Belldandy didn't answer the Almighty fixed her with a smirk and raised eyebrow that seemed so alien it snapped Belldandy out of her funk. "Think about it like this. You're sister made several visits to you and I remember the trouble she brought. It wouldn't be impossible for you to visit her as well."

Belldandy's eyes rose to almost comical heights and her laughter was genuine. Sounding across the room like a summer's breeze and brining a smile to God's face.

* * *

Naruto looked up at the sizable hole in his roof and just knew there was going to be trouble. The landlord was already on his tale for any little thing he could find wrong, and this was probably going to be the straw that broke the camels back. Turning around he looked at the woman/goddess lounging across his bed, dying to ask her what was going on but scared she would blast him into oblivion.

As if a prelude of things to come she took the question right out his mouth.

"Looks like your wish has processed." Rolling over to face his weary expression, "You taking the bed or are we sharing stud," Urd asked, putting the maximum amount of sex appeal into her voice and actions.

Naruto didn't answer her question given he fainted from the blood loss of his severe nosebleed.

"This is going to be so much fun."

* * *

**AN: **Hardest thing to overcome in this was thinking of a way to merge the two storylines. If it was any other modern day anime then maybe something could have come as a bit easier but since Naruto takes place in seemingly nowhere land I had to think up a more elaborate explanation. My first try was dealing with alternate dimensions, timestreams and all that babble. Not a good idea when practicality asked me, 'How would the great and almighty keep watch over every dimension?' My answer he was that he can't in any good way otherwise our heroes would never make it to the end. No way he could keep Naruto, Shinji, Ranma, Goku, Makoto, Eureka, Vash, Ichigo, Shana… you get the picture; all safe and sound. Also I've been getting into Gold Diggers a lot. That's were the idea of an alternate world really came in.

Why start from the beginning? Simple question really. It was the only time that Naruto had nobody to rely on. Almost as soon as the manga and anime pick up he gets Iruka as a friend/father figure so that would defeat the whole purpose of the wish. Plus it gives Urd some time so she can iron out some of his more abrasive traits before the real shit hits; the Akatsuki, demons, kidnappings, special training, going to the real Earth.

Why Urd? I like her. Plus I can't take Belldandy and use her in good conscience. Her and Keichii are too perfect for me to blow up and she's just so…. nice. That won't do in this fic. Skuld was another choice but I didn't have enough positives to pick her. I loved her growth and maturity in the manga, but even though she maybe older now, putting her into the war torn world of Naruto didn't sit right with me. Urd's a brawler, is half demon, and has a crap lad of other issues to work through so she makes a perfect barometer to scale Naruto's own growth against. And if it gets rough, I don't think she'd hesitate to unleash the pain a little sooner than her sisters.

Relationships will be kept on the backburner for a while, a couple of chapters, but when the women problems start popping up you'll be able to tell who's in the mix. Our boy Naruto will run into some of the same problems other super powerful men of mystery have (Ranma, Tenchi, and the greatest of all time GoldenBoy to name a few).

Any questions just post in the reviews and I'll try to answer what I can next AN session. Peace.

Next chapter: Naruto now has to deal with consequences of his wish including finding a place to stay. On the day of the exam he makes a BIG splash when Urd walks with him to class. And not even 24 hours since the wish and Naruto has to fend off males interested in taking Urd off his hands and females finally noticing him. Troublesome indeed.


	2. Act I 02: Ah! A Real Friend

**Ah! My Naruto**

By Gmusick

**Act I: Chapter 02 – Ah! A Real Friend**

Disclaimer: Don't own a single piece of property, if I did I wouldn't be writing this.

When the veil of sleep began lifting off of Naruto, he was quickly recognizing a number of differences this morning. One, he was fully clothed. Not a huge problem since some nights he would train himself into complete and utter exhaustion making showering a distant dream when he managed to get home. Two, Naruto could feel a nice breeze drifting into his room. Again that wasn't such a big problem but trying to think about it was jogging a memory. The third and most important was the slight weight in his arms. Slowly moving his hand to see just what he was holding, Naruto found himself rubbing against subtle curves.

Whatever it was, it was warm.

"Be careful stud, we just got to know each other," a very feminine voice whispered into his ear.

The reaction was instantaneous. Shooting across the small room fast enough to make Maito Gai scream and cry in jovial excitement, Naruto frantically waved his arms in front of him to try and ward of the monumental beating he knew was coming his way.

"I'msorryIdidn'tdoanythingIpromise. Pleasedon'tendmylifebeforeIhaveachancetograduate."

By some miracle she was barely able to piece together his jumbled butchering of the local language. "You didn't do anything last night. You fell out, and instead of leaving you on the floor where you might have frozen to death I put you to bed. As to why I was there too?" Stalking toward the shell shocked youth Urd leaned down, bringing them nose to nose. "I wanted our first day of the honeymoon to be perfect."

Even if he would have been able to form coherent thoughts, it wouldn't help him much in this situation, thus the only thing he could say was, "Bu-b-b-bu-b-b-bu-bu…"

'_Not a literary giant is he,'_ Urd thought watching him struggle to come to grips with seeing a beautiful woman, alone, and in his bed at that.

"YOU WERE REAL," he shouted.

Raising an eyebrow at the question, she asked, "You didn't think I was lying did you? The hole in your roof should be proof enough that what happened was real."

Dreading the answer Naruto slowly raised his to what was now his own open end sun roof. "You have got to be kidding me," he muttered. "So it wasn't a dream from eating all that ramen."

"I'm afraid not buckaroo. You're stuck with me till the end, or until the Almighty calls me back for whatever reason," Urd commented lightly.

She idly noted from her perch on the bed that he was still warring with disbelief. Stretching out onto her back, she began levitating several inches over his bed admiring the sunlight that streamed through the roof. "Don't you have an exam today," she asked as nonchalant as possible.

Snapping back to reality, Naruto speared a look at the clock on his wall, eyes bulging when he finally noted what time it was. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm going to be late."

Urd watched him race into the painfully small restroom and slam the door. She could hear the turning of knobs, and the groan from the rusty pipes pushing what she hoped was decently heated water. Last time she checked on him before given this mission the landlord had somehow cut the hot water to his room even though it was winter time in Konoha. But that's the end of little stunts like that Urd thought. A sense of glee making her shiver when thoughts of beautiful retribution came to mind.

After what could have been no more than two minutes, Naruto came flying out the restroom. Racing from several piles of junk gathering what he need for the day. To Urd, it looked like piles of trash haphazardly thrown around the place, but the way Naruto was finding his equipment made it look like he developed a system and had general idea where everything was.

Reaching out a hand to clasp his arm as he began to race past her again, Urd stopped him. Giggling at the anxious expression on his face and the hilarity of watching him run in place. "Calm down okay. You're not that late."

"But I gotta hurry up. I want to show everyone my super cool ninja talent," Naruto whined.

Sighing in resignation, Urd decided to try and reason with him a bit. "How about this. You sit down, get something to eat, and then I'll walk with you to class." He wasn't agreeing with her, but Urd wasn't about to let his eagerness stop her from doing what she wanted. "Everyone else is sure to have family there. I'll come along to support you."

It was a low blow in some ways, but when he agreed after a minute of quiet deliberation Urd smiled. Last night she hadn't immediately fall to sleep after Naruto fainted. For what could have been hours she sat and watched him, thinking of everything and nothing at the same time. Plans had to be made and followed. Just winging her way through this assignment would bring dire consequences, so she while watching him sleep she sat and planned. As with anything concerning Urd, Goddess of the Past her plans always brought unexpected results.

'_Time for phase one to be put into action_.'

* * *

Iruka was well into his lecture explaining what he and the other teachers would be looking for during the exam when the door to his classroom was pushed open. Having already taken attendance, it was an easy bet to guess who was walking into the room. Bad enough he was late, but to be late on the most important day of a young shinobi's life was almost blasphemy. Taking a deep breath, he readied himself to shirk off the excuses Naruto would give and let him know what he thought of such disrespect.

It's easy to say that never happened. Right behind the blonde walked in the most jaw-dropping beautiful woman he'd ever had the privilege of seeing. The class that had been so animated before stopped all conversations, and every eye landed on the pair walking through the door stunned speechless.

Naruto was used to being the center of attention, but this went beyond anything he could remember. The walk to the school had been bad enough. Use to whispers and the stares of people that wished him more harm than good it was unsettling dealing with this new way people were looking at him. Glancing up he watched to see how Urd was dealing, but like every other time during the short walk she seemed oblivious. No that wasn't right, the way she stripped down the woman that had called her a bitch was a class example that she knew what was going on. She just didn't care.

Urd felt him tense up and thought of what set of actions to take with this latest obstacle. The walk earlier had been enlightening on more than one case. Easily coming to the conclusion that this village needed a big dose of shock therapy, she decided to grab hold of his hand during the walk toward the school. Naruto was hesitant at first, and the way the villagers were glaring at him hadn't been a welcome sight, but Urd did what she wanted and damn the consequences.

"Is this your classroom Naruto-kun?" she asked, feigning surprise at the sight.

Not knowing what to do, he answered with a shy nod.

'_Oh no, that just won't do,'_ Urd thought with a manic grin.

Knelling down so that they were face to face, she made sure he was making eye contact. His ocean blue eyes locked into the jade green of her own. "You pass this test and show them who's going to be the greatest Hokage ever."

His smile could have powered a small village, and with his eyes closed Urd leaned forward at gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Show them who's best."

The shocked gasps from behind her ears sounded almost as heavenly as any angel singing. Without turning around or bothering to check and see if Naruto had moved from his spot near the door, she left the room with a sweep of her dress and eye grabbing sway in her hips.

Naruto twitched mentally. Managing to straighten himself out in a decent amount of time. After taking a deep breath he looked up to see every face in the room gazing at him. That didn't bother him, what did was the sight of several people that hadn't picked up their chins from the floor. It was too quiet and a sense of doom began to prickle his senses. Shrugging it off as nonsense, he made his way to his chair, his footsteps unnaturally loud against the oppressive silence. After taking his seat one brave soul, the most unlikely of them all, Hyuuga Hinata asked the one question that everyone was dying to know. "N-N-Naruto-kun, w-who is that woman?"

For the last several hours Naruto could be graded as handling the situation set upon him in a pretty decent manner. Shock may have had something to do with it, but he should have been commended. Too bad it couldn't have lasted a bit longer.

Naruto thought it was best to keep the part of her being a Goddess out of his explanation. No need to attract unwanted attention when he didn't need it. "Who? Urd. She's just staying with me. She's nobody important."

It took exactly two point five seconds before he realized his mistake, and the classroom exploded in a cacophony of questions and shouts.

On her way out the main entrance of the academy Urd could easily hear the roar that came from Naruto's classroom. _'There goes another good deed.'_

If she only knew!

* * *

Three hours of carefree walking, and Urd was starting to get a good idea of where their new residence was going to be set up. With her being stuck here for the time being, Naruto's little one room shack was not a viable living option. She needed a bigger place for her lab, her warehouse of clothes, the big screen television she planned on sneaking in and a host of other things. Only God knows how he managed to live in a place that would give a mouse claustrophobia. For Naruto's sake she was glad Skuld hadn't been called. The poor boy wouldn't have survived the initial meeting.

Turning a corner, Urd headed into Naruto's dilapidated apartment district. The run down buildings looked as if a stray wind could blow them down if it wanted. There was little to no grass surrounding the building, just lots of dirt that a group of children were happy to kick up. Walking past the smiling children with a wave, she walked the stairs up several floors. Coming to Naruto's apartment, Urd opened the door to his room and found the landlord limping through Naruto's bedroom, searching through everything in sight.

Coughing into her hand, she got the smaller mans attention. "I don't know why you're in here, but you better speak up or someone is going to be seriously hurt," she growled, popping her knuckles in order for him not to misunderstand what she meant.

The balding old man sputtered. Trying to decide if gawking at the beautiful woman or running for his better health was better. "Who are you?"

The question was simple but Urd didn't' function on a simple mindset. In her eyes it was an opportunity to cause mischief. She straightened her posture, keeping her tone formal and business like. "I'm here took look in and gauge the living arrangements of one Uzumaki Naruto." Taking a glance around, she put the right amount of displeasure in her voice. "It would seem that such a visit was warranted."

"I'm glad they sent someone to take care of the brat. You ought to here the noise he makes when he comes here. Always Hokage this, Hokage that. If that's not bad enough look at my roof." Letting out a snort of disgust, he smiled at Urd and she got an eyeful of his three good teeth. "Damn punk. As if the village would ever let that demon possessed monster anywhere in our ranks." He shook his head as if the idea was beyond human comprehension.

Urd had no idea why God would send her on this mission. Every time someone opened their mouths in this world she found another moron she wanted to blast into dust. '_Maybe this was a test,'_ she thought. Her temper had always been a sore subject around the office, and only recently had she made any stride toward restraining some of her baser demonic urges. But what if?

"Miss?"

Urd cocked an eyebrow at the little toad. '_Hmm. I do need help getting his stuff out of here.'_ "Well sir. Despite your opinion of the young man, I'm here concerning him. Also as you have seemed to forget I come here and find you ransacking through one of your tenant's apartments." Holding up a hand to cut off his hasty explanations, Urd continued. "If I didn't know any better I would think that's a crime. One I'm sure the Hokage would be interested in knowing."

Having no clue what the Hokage would do, Urd had simply been shooting in the dark. The man hadn't asked for any identification to prove her claim, too stunned by being caught and the threat of bodily violence. And let's not be silly here, she was good looking, so that played a major part. _Smirk_

Something was grabbing her leg. Looking down she found the man crying his eyes out. A river of tears were flowing from his eyes, wetting her dress and soaking up her whole left side of her leg.

"Please, don't. I'll do anything," he pleaded.

Bingo. It was hard to keep the snarl of her face from him ruining her dress, but she did it. Later on after Naruto's graduation she would have lots of time to drink and laugh her ass off. "I want you to get movers here now. Have them pack up everything you see in boxes. I'll be back in one hour on the dot. If it's not done or Mr. Naruto tells me anything is missing then I'm sorry sir. I'll have to report you."

Shaking him off her leg, the old man stood up and shook her hand. Giving her a slight bow the apartment manager turned and left the room. She waited several seconds to pass, and when no one came in she closed the door to his apartment. A small popping sound was heard and on her shoulders were two miniature versions of herself.

"That's was a great plan," mini Urd One said.

Standing in a pose, the second miniature clone on her left gave her a thumb up. "I got to say it. You were incredible."

Giving herself a mental pat on the back Urd agreed. "I was wasn't I." The three suddenly burst into a fit of laughter that would have sent chills down the most hardened shinobi's spine. Taking one last look around the messy apartment, she waved the mini Urds away and started her way toward the better housing district. "Now, let's see what type of home we can swindle, err… I mean buy."

* * *

Failure!

Loser!

Wannabe!

Words that he could easily block out any other day were finally hitting him full blast at his lowest point. In his own mind he could visually recall almost every hateful look and put down. Every pep talk he had to give himself to wake up in the morning only to be face with the same hate again and again. His ambition, his dream of becoming the best was derailed before it even had a chance to begin. What type of ninja failed the academy exam?

The grunts did that's who.

Contrary to what he wanted to believe, he actually thought Urd was going to show up. He barely knew her well enough to blindly trust her like that, but she seemed like the genuine article. For the first time in a long time he thought he had his first real friend. Someone that wouldn't mind looking out for him for a change instead of trying to keep him down, but he must have been wrong. He hadn't seen her face all day after she dropped him off. Maybe that was a blessing. No use in her coming here and seeing him as a failure.

It was barely perceptible, but he could her someone sniffling. Looking around he found no one around. Everyone having left after the graduation ceremony. To his complete and utter horror he found out it was him, the greatest Hokage of all time in training, sniffling like a girl.

"Ninja's don't cry," he muttered to himself. But the usual gusto and determination that served him so well wasn't there.

With a silent push he swung on the swing set. "What am I going to do," he asked himself. Misery dripping of him waves.

"I got an idea."

Looking up into the face of the one teacher that had tried to help him during the exam Naruto knew he was open for anything.

"Mizuki-sensei."

* * *

If such a move was possible she would have been kicking her own ass five ways from Sunday. Being fashionably late to Naruto's graduation was one thing. Missing the whole damn thing was an entirely different bag of problems. The sad part was that she didn't have a legitimate excuse either. If somebody's grandmother needed help with her groceries, or some lonely little girl's cat was stuck in a tree, he wouldn't be able to blame her for playing the Good Samaritan.

She didn't think he would like the idea of her missing his graduation because she wanted to have a well stocked collection of sake. That's why now she was hurrying before the whole thing ended. As long as she could as least be seen he shouldn't pitch too much of a fit.

'_Yea right,'_ "Urd you're already messing up girl," she told herself.

Passing by several blocks she could see families celebrating at almost every establishment eating. It wasn't hard to guess that the little ones wearing the snazzy looking headbands were the graduates. Naruto was always touting around those goggles of his also helped in the assumption.

The school finally came into view and Urd released a sigh. Steeping into the courtyard Urd found, to her chagrin, that the whole place was deserted. A closer investigation offered no clue to where the blonde was, and that's when something heavy began sitting in the base of her chest. As crazy as it sounded, if Naruto had graduated there wouldn't have been anyone in the village that didn't know. Not because the news would have been spread itself, but because Naruto's cheers would have been loud enough to alert the whole village. There were cheers and shouts in the distance. None of them sounded anything like the loud mouth blonde.

Turning around she left the courtyard and started toward the commerce district. He had to be somewhere.

From her seat in the diner, Yamanaka Ino looked up as if her prayers were somehow answered, to see the approaching platinum haired woman from earlier this morning. After a quick glance to both sides she noted the absence of the bullhorn blonde, filing that bit of observation away for further use. Her inquiries earlier that morning had been met by unexpected resistance. Naruto had been surprisingly quiet about the whole thing. Only giving out the woman's name and not much else despite the whole class coming down hard on him for information.

Elbowing Sakura, Ino got her attention. "Look at the doorway. It's the woman from this morning."

Snapping her head around quick enough to blur, Sakura's eyes went round as saucers. "What is she doing here?"

"Don't know," Ino answered in a whisper. "The flunky's not with her."

Spotting the two of them, Urd slowly made her way through the crowded restaurant, drawing the stares of both men and women, the former receiving harsh slaps anywhere in the cranial area.

"Some of you kids are in class with Naruto right?" Ino and Sakura gave zombie like nods, totally stunned by the almost ethereal beauty the woman held up close. "You know where he went off too?"

The assembled group of revelers, mainly consisting of the Yamanka, Haruno, Akimichi, and Nara families, stopped all activity and blinked in confusion. Ino spurred forward when the shock of anyone looking for the blonde for something other than being the butt of a practical joke, gripped the table and took charge.

"I'm not sure maim. Naruto didn't pass the exam so we lost track of him." No need for the woman to know that they didn't really care where Naruto went.

Urd closed her eyes, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Damn it. I knew something like this was going to happen. He doesn't even know I moved his stuff into the new house."

Sakura's nerveless fingers dropped her chopsticks, Ino valiantly tried not to hyperventilate, Chouji unbelievable as it sounds actually stopped eating, staring at the woman in disbelief, and Shikimaru pondered if this was a clear sign that the apocalypse was coming.

Yamanka Inoshi fearing for the kid's and his close friends mental stability wanted to clarify the situation before anyone outright fainted. His wife seemed to be on the edges of consciousness herself.

"Did you say you two were staying together?" he asked as laid back as possible.

"Oh yea. I think it's over there near the Shiranui family compound or something like that. Nice place too, plenty of room to fool around in." Urd said lightly, not thinking how her words could be misconstrued.

The sound of someone's head banging the table startled the Goddess. The pink haired girl was laid out, her face landing directly in the middle of her plate. The blonde girl next to her didn't seem all that stable either. She seemed to be chocking on nothing but air. The blonde man's date or wife was having a fainting spell. Not only them, but the whole table seemed dangerously unstable. Cautiously taking a small step back Urd quickly bid her goodbye's and hurried out the restaurant in case whatever the strange group had was contagious.

When no one said a word after several minutes of first aid and cleaning of faces, Shikimaru summed up everyone's thoughts perfectly. "When the hell did Naruto get such a babe?"

* * *

Mini Urd twelve knew she was onto something when a splash of orange could be seen in the middle of the forest she had been designated to watch. Keeping her excitement at a low ebb, she kept herself to the shadows and out of sight. It wouldn't do to find him and then get caught if anyone else was around.

Mentally sending the confirmation signal that she'd found their target, number twelve sat down in the small hole of the tree trunk and kept watch incase Naruto tried to slip away again.

Settling in to wait for her sisters she watched the blonde, and wondered what he would be doing out in the middle of a forest this late at night. By now she knew the girl had been telling the truth. There were two young men who were going to wake up in each others arms after taking a potion in the face, and have no idea how it happened that could attest to her seeing the idiots gloating over that one little fact and pissing her off. Narrowing her gaze to take a closer look, Urd was instantly concerned. Naruto was breathing hard and he looked like he'd been in some sort of brawl. The thought that someone had tracked him down, and in their joy in his failure decided to rub it in was there but that huge scroll located near him made her pause. '_What is he doing?'_

During her silent contemplation, Iruka stepped into the clearing asking, more like shouting Naruto a question about that very scroll. Urd recognized the man as the pineapple headed teacher in Naruto's room and blinked in confusion. From what he was saying it seemed important. She was about to step in and speak when the sound of chuckling got her attention. Looking up she found the silver haired ninja, Naruto's other teacher, with a shuriken big enough to serve saki off of. The realization that something was very wrong hit her, and before she could begin to comprehend the situation the next ten minutes wound up being some of the most heart wrenchingly tense moments she'd ever experienced in her lifetime.

Loathe as she was not to have contributed, watching the whole spectacle from a third person perspective showed her some things she otherwise wouldn't have noticed. The fighting was eye catching, and Naruto's resiliency in battle was impressive, but those weren't what drew her eye. Watching up close the gift that Naruto was blessed with, how without a single thought to himself he forgave one of the people that had treated him less than stellar for many years, and put his life on the line. In that one instant he made one of his resisters a believer, and Urd began to have an inkling as to why she was brought down here. To have such a gift destroyed, or used for the wrong reasons would be an injustice.

Naruto and the pineapple headed teacher began talking. and Urd could feel the approaching aura's of several other people, most likely reinforcements. Deciding to beat a hasty retreat before she was spotted, Urd cast a quick spell and disappeared from view.

* * *

In the excitement of finally graduating, fighting his first real battle, and having Iruka treat him to ramen Naruto didn't think the night could go any better. What had started off as the lowest point in his short life, ended up being a moment he would never forget. It was almost early morning, and why the hell Ichiraku was still open was a complete mystery to him, but Naruto wasn't one to complain. Especially when it came to ramen and anything related to the good stuff.

He was busily slurping his third helping when the sound of someone pulling back the curtain got his attention, and he turned to find Urd walking into his favorite eating spot, a smile on her face. She idly noted his lack of any cheerful response or smile, and knew it was more than expected. It wasn't in his nature to shun people, but she had broken a promise, even if she never said those exact words.

"Whad'ya want? I'm sure you got other things to do." Naruto muttered, almost glaring at her before digging into his bowl.

Taking a seat next to him, Urd ignored the inquisitive look from the owner and Iruka's wide eyed stare. Reaching from behind her, she slid the small, expertly wrapped package across the table. "I know I said I was going to be there and I'm sorry. I got to say that it wasn't for nothing though."

Naruto highly doubted that. Looking over the little gift, Naruto hoped she didn't do something weird and by him jewelry or something else he didn't need. Putting the box to his ear he shook it, hearing a slight jingly sound. Frowning at the woman now sitting next to him he asked, "You didn't get me something girly and by me a ring or something else girly. I'm a ninja. I don't need stuff like that."

"NARUTO! You don't talk to a lady like that." Iruka shrieked mortified.

"Who cares. She broke a promise so she's not my friend anymore." Naruto almost shouted petulant till the end.

Waving a hand to placate Naruto, Urd tried to reason with him, "Something important came up. It was for a good reason. "

Folding his arms across his chest with a frown on his face, Naruto didn't believe it. "I don't believe you. Prove it."

Now Urd lied occasionally. That was a simple truth she had no problem admitting. It was the major reason she stayed a second class Goddess, she liked the freedom of her position. But to be told directly to her face she was a liar was a little much. The vein suddenly popping out of forehead was a clear indication she was already losing it. Naruto missed the signal entirely. "Look. I said I'm sorry. Just open your gift and then you'll stop pouting like some baby."

A storm seemed to pass over Naruto's features. Pointing a finger and the Goddess he was almost shouting now. "I'm not a baby. Baby's don't have this." He said pointing at the forehead protector wrapped around his head.

"Really," Urd drawled unimpressed. "You don't look like much of a ninja to me short stuff."

Growling low in his throat Naruto managed somehow to increase his already high volume to another level. "Don't call me short. You prune."

One vein multiplied to ten and Urd totally forgot about her gift in order to point out Naruto's many personality deficiencies.

Urika looked on at the escalating argument from a safe two extra stool distance, growing more and more embarrassed as the fight continued. Not only was Naruto naturally loud, but the platinum haired woman was proving just as vocal, if not more. Whoever the lady was, she was close to his now former student. The question though was how he long had he kept this a secret from everyone. From his knowledge, and shame even, nobody was close to Naruto or even attempted to know him.

Timidly Iruka spoke up in hopes of quieting the pair. "I don't think it's wise to talk so loud and it's so late in the evening."

"Stay out of this pineapple-head." Urd growled.

"Don't worry Iruka-sensei, I can handle her." Naruto seconded.

Urd leaned back in her seat to give Naruto a look he'd never seen before. It seemed like she was weighing whether to dice him in tiny pieces or sizzle him well done. Not good at all.

"Well mister big, bad ninja. Did you stop to think why Ichiraku is open so late? I guess not. I talked to him, and got him to open up so I could treat you."

Naruto turned to Iruka for help, but the Chuunin shrugged his shoulders, having no idea if she was lying or not. Glancing at old man Ichiraku, the elderly shop owner nodded to Naruto's unasked question. Somewhat abashed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head he tried to salvage the situation as best he could, but Urd didn't give him time to fix his flop. "Open up the box." She commanded

Instead of ripping into it like she expected, he slowly began easing the tape off the corners of the wrapper, unfolding the sides in a slow methodical fashion. To her eyes, he seemed scared that this whole thing was some sort of joke. "It's not going to bite you. Hurry up," she huffed.

Relenting, he tore into the last piece of paper to find a white box smaller than his hand. Releasing a held breath, Naruto opened it up to find a set of keys. '_Keys?'_

Urd smiled at the confused faces. Not wanting to hold them in suspense, she recorded her favorite drama and had to catch up after missing two weeks, she told them. "It's the keys to your new house. I got it today. All of your stuff is already moved, so all you got to do is pick your room and your set."

He didn't answer. For several minutes he never moved to touch his ramen or anything, he just sat with his head down and hair shading his eyes from everyone around. Fearing she somehow made him angry she looked at the teacher who was as flabbergasted as her. Grabbing Naruto's shoulders she was about to shake him until she could feel the light, almost imperceptible shudders racking his body.

"Naruto?"

His eyes were moist, and she could hear the tears in his voice. The emotions were heartfelt and she understood immediately. Pulling him to her, she wrapped her arms around his head; his face cradled on her stomach, and let him try to get himself under control. She could hear the muffled thank you and smiled. Neither of the other two men present said a word. Surprised and altogether thankful for the lengths this unknown woman who seemed to care for Konoha's un-favored son was willing to go through to ensure his happiness.

* * *

**AN:** First off, I want to thank everyone for the reviews. Finding a new one in the inbox is like picking up free money. Yeah I skimmed over the fight but there really wasn't anything different I could have done. And if you think Naruto's a bit OOC then I apologize. He's had a rough 24 hours and with the finish like it was something had to give. It was either that or him screaming again and I wanted something a little more heartfelt.

As for the chapter in general I didn't like it too much. For some reason no matter how many times I changed a line or rewrote a paragraph it just didn't agree with me. The whole thing just feels like another prologue for some reason. Oh well. It's better than running into a lethal dose of writers block; the real reason 'Stray' is seemingly lying in moth balls. I'm taking out my frustrations on chapter 3 and its turning out really well.

The Wish: As some people have noted the wish was never stated. That was done on purpose. I kept it purposely vague in order to get some leeway going in the earlier chapters. I know what it is and you'll know later. Is that evil? Most definitely. Mwuahahahahahaha.


	3. Act I 03: Ah! An Unexpected Surprise

**Ah! My Naruto**

By Gmusick

**Act I: Chapter 03 – Ah! An Unexpected Surprise **

Disclaimer: Don't own a single piece of property, if I did I wouldn't be writing this.

The room was packed with overeager Genin when he made his way into the meeting hall. Once again he was late because Urd steadfastly refused to let him leave without eating breakfast. Which was ridiculous because the woman didn't know the first damn thing about cooking. Some of the ideas she tried forcing down his throat could be used in defense of Konoha they tasted so bad. Let the Hidden Cloud come. One hit with the garbage Urd called food and the whole village would fall from food poisoning.

Thinking about it was making made him even more agitated. The kitchen was good-sized. Filled with every vegetable, meat, and drink he could imagine, how she got the food she wouldn't say, but neither one of them knew a thing about cooking. His specialty was ramen, Urd's he quickly was learning was sake, and that wasn't even a food. When he asked Urd earlier she told him her sister always cooked back in her world so she never bothered. Just his luck to get the useless one.

Not wanting to be bothered after the rough morning, he pushed the problem to the back of his mind and made his way to his seat. He didn't notice the quiet that once again settled over the room which only stopped when the immediate area around his desk was surrounded by almost every male in the room.

"What the hell do you want?" Naruto growled with irritation.

Kiba, not put off in the slightest by his attitude, jumped to the hottest subject in months. "We heard you and the babe are living together in your own place and everything. Is it true?"

By the way everyone was looking at him, hanging on his answer, he was tempted to tell them the entire thing was a lie. Some cockamamie practical joke gone haywire. But it was obvious word traveled fast or they wouldn't be asking him about his living arrangements in the first place.

Heaving a tired sigh Naruto reluctantly answered. "Yeah."

Like the day before there was an uproar of catcalls and cheers from some of the males, while some snorted in disbelief, calling him a liar. Surprisingly, his thirteen-year-old mind couldn't understand why some of the females were looking at him as if he committed a crime. Adding to the surreal-ness of the experience, Hinata looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Man you are so lucky. I hate you even more now."

"Dude, how did you do it? You're only thirteen."

"She made you change your wardrobe. It must be serious."

"I'll trade you. Anything you want, just give me one day."

Someone patted him on the back and Naruto barely stilled the instinctive reaction of decking whoever touched him. He was quickly getting tired of the attention. It was good to be noticed but this was ridiculous. "Everybody shut up and listen. It's not like that, she's just a friend," he shouted.

Unfortunately no one believed him.

As with all things, the attention being brought upon young Naruto drew the eyes of the young ladies in the classroom. Before class began most of them crowded together and traded the few pieces of information they managed to gather together. It wasn't much. The woman seemingly came out of nowhere and no one personally knew her. How someone as untalented and crass as Uzumaki Naruto ended up with her was a mystery. One they planned on solving. Fortunately or unfortunately if you thought about it, Ino was spearheading the charge.

During their years in the academy, Naruto had never caught her eye. He was loud, stupid, and could be downright obnoxious when he wanted to be. Now, in light of this recent find, maybe there was something she overlooked. He said they were friends and it could be true, but what thirteen-year-old stayed with a grown woman not related to them in some way. If she remembered correctly, Naruto had lived alone for years.

From her chair she looked over and noted the lack of mirth in Naruto's expression. He was surrounded by boys eager to hear of sordid nights and steamy wakeups in the morning. The only thing was Naruto seemed closer to punching someone than regaling them with tales of his days. The reaction was unexpected, drawing a frown to her features. Just another piece of information for her to sort through.

The door opened and Iruka walked into the classroom. The chaos circling around Naruto drawing a wince to his face at the loud volume. He took one look at Naruto and shook his head. "Alright, alright party's over. Everyone take a seat.

Naruto looked thankful for the unexpected help, sending a tired grin in Iruka's direction. Ino watched the exchange with a raised eyebrow but stayed quiet.

Shuffling a handful of papers to make sure everything was in order, Iruka began reading off several sheets. Naming the teams in numerical order, drawing groans and cheers from various sections of the room until Naruto finally heard his name being called.

"Team seven will be Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, and Haruno Sakura."

Naruto could feel a headache coming on. He was being teamed up with the future Mrs. Hokage, his all time dream. Normally information like this would have sent him running through the city with joy but he just couldn't manage to care. He was hungry, these clowns around him were beyond irritating, and he was going to be teamed with the most annoying, emotionally retentive kid he'd known.

_I thought Urd was supposed to bring me good luck._

Iruka-sensei gave a little speech Naruto failed to hear, trying to enjoy his moment of peace. His former teacher gathered his papers, gave a smile to his former students and left the room. Naruto fervently wished he had stayed.

"Can we come over?"

"Is she dating?"

"Have you seen _them_? Are they big?" one male asked, lecherous grin in place.

He was going to kill someone soon. He just knew it.

* * *

Urd, in nothing more than cut off shorts and a tank top, did what she did best… lounge and do nothing. She had her sake, the big screen television she managed to get from home through a lot of 'negotiating' with Skuld was set up, her soaps were on and her charge was off learning how to sever peoples necks in a million little ways. All in all it was a nice little setup. But she was curious and bored. Two things anyone that knows Urd should realize equaled trouble.

Easily deciding missing this one episode wouldn't throw her off too much, with nothing more than a mental thought her attire changed from the house wear to a denim skirt and long-sleeved coat combo. Put together with a black t-shirt with the words 'Naruto's Favorite Groupie.'

Left index finger lightly tapping her chin she wondered if she was going a bit overboard in helping him with his popularity. A simple potion or spell would give the same results in less time. But before she began anything she would have to pick out Naruto's lucky lady. She knew of the pink-haired Haruno girl he was always raving about, the pale-eyed Hyuuga that had such a big crush on him was another choice, and unknown to anyone else the almost eerily quiet Ayame girl had an affection for Naruto she kept well hidden. She didn't think any of them could handle Naruto.

Sakura claimed to be in love with that kid Sasuke and Urd wasn't going to comment how ludicrous that sounded, Hinata was too shy and introverted to hold a decent conversation, and Aoi barely uttered three words consistently back to back in a sentence. Harrowing prospects indeed. Not that they were the only likely candidates. Urd wasn't known as the Goddess of Love for nothing, a title she'd given herself. She had a laundry list of ladies she planned on interviewing to insure the greatest compatibility. It wouldn't do for the couple to start dating and have Naruto ruin it.

Pumping her fist, eyes lit in the fire of determination, Urd strode through the front door intent on making Naruto the most eligible bachelor in all of Konoha.

In another part of the village the young Uzumaki felt a shiver run down his spin and knew that wasn't a good sign.

* * *

When the silver-haired Jounin finally left them alone to do whatever the hell he did, Naruto was forced to face some simple truths. Sasuke didn't get any easier to handle after three straight hours with him. He didn't miraculously change personalities or become a better person after the academy. In Nartuo's less than humble opinion the dark-haired, wannabe teen idol was a grade A certified loon. That bit about his future dream of wanting to kill someone was all the evidence he needed.

And Sakura. He loved her, he really did, but he was having some serious doubts that she was all there mentally as well. As oblivious as he seemed during the meeting he noted the way she kept glancing at Konoha's number one jerk. The rosy tint in her cheeks and the giggle every time she and Sasuke accidentally locked eyes was hard to miss. Sending a prayer up he hoped she got a clue when Sasuke showed how deranged he was.

_I guess wanting to spend your whole life trying to kill someone is cool nowadays. Missed the memo on that one. _

His sensei. Nartuo could see there were going to be problems. Whatever the hell he was reading seemed interesting. Maybe a manual on how to make bagels that exploded on contact. Ninja's did stuff like that. Seeing beneath the underneath and all that phooey.

Shrugging the rest of his internal conversation away in indifference, Naruto found he was tired, sweaty, and hungry. Both Sasuke and Sakura had been giving him strange looks all morning and even the sensei of his was eyeing him. It didn't take a genius to know why.

Should he be proud that everyone was acknowledging him? He had a woman staying with him, the best looking one by far in the entire village from what he gathered, she was a powerful Goddess, and she was truthfully trying to make his life a little easier. Why then didn't he feel all that relieved or even grateful? There was a feeling, an emotion, gathering steam as it lay in his chest. When someone asked him about Urd, wanted to know their status, looked at him in small wonder or greater contempt it grew. She got him a new home, put clothing in his closet, made sure he didn't train himself into a coma and words failed to express how much that meant to him.

His resentment however was swiftly growing in strength. Not one person before Urd that came along could truly be called a friend. His classmates were just that, classmates. People he tried interacting with. He was someone they laughed and screamed at until it was their time to return home to their families. The random villagers and shinobi he encountered were no different. His classmates may not have hit him or called him a demon at every opportunity, but everything was relative in his mind. But now, now he was someone to talk to. Everyone wanted a piece of him and it wasn't because of anything he did. No practical joke or personal feat grabbed this kind of attention and he hated that fact. Heaving a weary sigh Naruto started toward home, stopping when Sasuke of all people spoke up.

"Where are you going, dobe?" The question sounding more like a demand. Typical Sasuke in other words.

Naruto was too tired to rise to the bait. "Home."

Sakura stood back, struggling with her own questions. Sasuke was right next to her. Though she was continually being shot down, today might be the day he finally agreed to let her walk with him. But there was Naruto. In his blue turtleneck shirt, black shorts, and imitation Chuunin vest he looked like another person entirely. Her curiosity was demanding she go with him and find out what was happening to him. Was this the work of that older woman?

Almost every female from their graduating class was on the case, but since she was on his team it was up to her to get the real facts. Her intellectual side was telling her that what she was doing was nonsense. There was no way Naruto was in any kind of relationship with anybody. The gossip, the little girl that was still growing in her, thought something else entirely.

Speaking only when it looked like Naruto was going to turn back around and leave, Sakura asked, "Umm, you don't mind me walking with you do you?"

Naruto and Sasuke looked at her as if she'd grown another head. Sasuke stood stunned that she wasn't trying to follow him like she did everyday in the academy. Naruto wore a similar expression, but it was for another reason totally.

'I can't believe this. She wants to walk with me and Sasuke is still standing there?'

A quick glance and he could still see his dark-haired teammate. The way his face was contorted was hilarious. It was so damn funny Naruto went and helped himself to a good old laugh at his mortal enemy's expense.

Growling, Sasuke turned on Naruto, his fist balled and glare heavy enough to melt stone if it was possible. "What the hell's so funny, dead last?"

Laughing harder than ever Naruto barely answered. "You."

That was enough to send the Uchiha into the red zone. Taking a menacing step forward, Sasuke pulled his fist back to destroy Naruto's face.

"Naruto-kun."

Three pair of eyes turned around to see a female female wearing a tan trench coat approaching. Her eyes regarded no one but Naruto and the slight snake like sway in her hips seemed to hypnotize the small group.

"I was wondering if you got a minute to spare."

"Yeah. Whad'ya want?"

* * *

Anko continued the leisurely walk through Konoha, easily ignoring the suspicious glare Naruto kept shooting at her. For the last ten minutes the two of them were making small talk, well more along the lines of her talking and him constantly looking at her as if waiting for a sudden attack. In their line of work being cautious was a good trait to have, and Naruto looked to suffer from borderline paranoia.

"If you can wait a while until I get my dango, you'll see."

His eyebrows lowered into what she thought was the cutest pout and she had no problems telling him that.

Naruto folded his arms and bellowed, "I'm not cute."

Only raising an eyebrow, Anko chuckled in wry amusement. "You do know how ridiculous you sound right?"

No matter how he postured otherwise, his face was redder than anything Anko could remember seeing. Anko spotted her favorite site and changed their trajectory to take them toward it while Naruto was busy getting over his embarrassment.

"Yo ossan. Give me the usual."

The old man gave a sardonic grin, not paying Naruto the least bit of attention and began working on Anko's favorite snack. Naruto, unused to anybody not reacting to him in some way, wondered if the man even knew who he was. Granted, Urd refused to let him out the house until he got rid of his favorite orange jumpsuit, but a change of clothes didn't make him that different.

"Don't think too hard about it." Anko shrugged. "Koto-san could care less if you were the reincarnation of Shodo the Ugly."

Turned around toward the grill the man said, "Don't worry kid. There is nothing you can do to scare me that Anko doesn't normally do. Just her showing up is ruining my business already."

Anko grabbed the closest thing to her and let it fly at a good clip. The object just happened to be a discarded drink mug Koto failed to pick up from his last customer. An interesting sequence of events unfolded that gave Naruto a glimpse of why the man hadn't even batted an eyelash. The clay cup smashed into his head, propelling him into overhead counter, which made him drop a stick of dango that he somehow managed to trip on, sending him flat on his back.

Stretching over the counter Anko easily plucked the treats she'd been waiting on and started munching happily. There was nothing Naruto could have said that would even begin to do justice to the scene. His only visible physical action was to blink in astonishment.

"Is he going to be okay?"

Anko airily waved her hand. "He'll be ok. Don't let his old looks fool you. Koto-san is a retired ANBU."

Naruto looked down at the man sprawled on the floor and wanted to think otherwise. The total disregard this woman next to him had about casual violence put Sakura to shame. That Yamanaka chick that everyone was so scared of didn't even come close.

Disregarding the man laying flat on the ground, Anko smiled as the taste rolled around her tongue, acknowledging Naruto with a grin that had him wondering if he was doing the right thing by talking to this woman.

"I came to you because I have a proposal."

Sadly Naruto had no idea what she was talking about. "A what?"

Rolling hers eyes and sighing Anko figured she had given the kid too much credit. "A proposal. I see that you have graduated the Academy. What I'm offering is for me to help train you."

Contrary to popular belief Naruto was not dumb, and nowhere near stupid. He may have lacked book sense, but being alone forced some of life's harshest lessons on him far earlier than any normal person would go through them. If he was good at anything, it was reading people. Words could be decorated and flowered up to mean anything a speaker wanted. But a person's eyes. Those were the objects that always revealed the truth.

When he was younger people use to give him gifts. So excited that someone actually wanted to do something nice to him for a change he never thought his packages would be booby-trapped or that his food would be poisoned. So he learned to look people in their eyes. Hate, distrust, anger. Those type of emotions weren't so easily hidden as people thought they were. And as he got older he got better and then it became a tool because he began using for himself. Looking into Anko's eyes Naruto couldn't see any of the well hidden malice a lot of shinobi held when talking to him. They were clear, easy for him to read and they sparkled with a hidden light of some source.

Eyeing the woman in surprise mixed with suspicion, a little excitement as well, Naruto asked, "Why? What do you get out of this?"

Anko's eyes glittered a split second, too quick for Naruto to pick up. "Simple. Right here, right now, you make a promise that at one time at a later date when I ask I'll have your help with a problem."

Naruto's eyes narrowed to slits. In Anko's opinion it looked anything but threatening. "You're not going to make me do anything like kill one of your friends or robbing people are you?"

Eyes wide as saucers, Anko struggled to keep her composure. Kill her friends? Robbing people? Who the hell did this kid think she was? The stories about her were probably well known but she wasn't some sort of criminal.

"Baka. Where the hell did you get that idea?"

Naruto had the decency to look sheepish for a minute, scratching the back of his head. "I don't know. Just had to make sure. The future Hokage can't do stuff like that."

Eyeing him with a measure of scrutiny that unnerved him somewhat, Anko started down a different track, more curious now. "You're really serious about that Hokage thing, huh?"

He looked at here like she'd grown two heads. "Of course. The Hokage is the most powerful ninja in the whole village. Everyone has to respect him because he's the best. When I become Hokage everyone will have to respect me."

He spoke with such conviction. He whole-heartedly believed that with that dream, if he accomplished that one goal, everything would be honky dory. Anko wondered if she should be the one to burst his bubble.

Swallowing another mouthful of the treat, she turned the stool toward him, making sure she had his full attention. "You haven't given me an answer but before you do let me give you a word of wisdom. This world is a big place, far bigger than you can imagine. The goal you have is a good one, but why limit yourself to such a small dream?"

Before Naruto started shouting his denials Anko's hand lashed out and closed around his mouth. "Let me finish. What you're shooting for is so small. This village is nothing but a speck in the world. People will live and die never knowing a Konoha ever existed. So why aim small. Don't be the best ninja of Konoha, don't aim for the best Hokage ever. You want respect. Why not become the most powerful warrior to ever walk this world. Let your name be known in every city, town, and village."

'_Hook._'

Slowly removing her hand she smiled at the glossy look in Naruto's eyes. "You carry a heavy burden. One that very, very few can even begin to relate too. That is proof enough that you are bound for greater things."

Blinking, Naruto tried formulating a sentence, a retort that would get this woman to back down from her claims. Her words were there. Constantly trying to penetrate the many barriers he kept erect on the one thing, his pledge that kept him going for so long. If that were the only problem he would have left a long time ago, but he looked into her eyes and could _see_ she believed every word she said. It was throwing him in a tailspin and he didn't know what to do.

"Do you believe that? You think I can be that good."

His question came out far softer than anything he'd ever said. But Anko never batted an eyelash. "I believe you could be the best shinobi this world has ever seen."

'_Line._'

Leaning down so that their noses were bare centimeters apart, Anko's mahogany colored eyes met the startling ocean blue of Naruto's. "Let me help you train and I promise that you will reach heights you never knew existed."

The answer was in Naruto's eyes before he uttered a single word.

'_Sinker._'

* * *

Reading through the questionnaire, Urd shook her head in disappointment. The great girlfriend search wasn't going over too well. There were a lot of young ladies that knew about Naruto but most of them only knew of him from second-hand knowledge from either their parents or rumors that were always spreading. Easy to see that their opinions didn't present Naruto in any good light.

Case and point. There were three girls sitting in front of her. Two of them hated Naruto's guts. When asked why their answer was that he was no good and goofy. Their parents said they didn't like him and told them to stay away from him, so like good little girls they listened. The third girl, Yamamoto Cho, was a different story entirely. Her parents didn't care for Naruto but they never uttered a word against him. Cho's sole reason for disliking Naruto was because she was another one of Sasuke's fanclub members and going out with Naruto would get her kicked out the club.

She had nothing against the Uchiha. He was good looking and she knew he was going to grow up into a devilishly handsome young man, but right now she really wished he lived some where else. This was the twelfth female to make that same remark.

Mentally groaning at the prospect of having to go through anymore of the list after so many failures, her attention was diverted when she looked up and found Naruto walking and talking animatedly to an older woman.

Noticing the direction of her gaze the girls she had previously been interviewing turned around and were stunned into disbelief, it was becoming a recurring theme when Uzumaki was involved.

"Is that Naruto?" one of them asked.

Blinking to make sure, Cho answered in a dazed whisper. "Yeah, that's him. You can't tell 'cause he's not wearing that loud orange anymore."

"Who is that he's walking with? It might be his new sensei."

"No, some guy named Kakashi is his sensei. Then that means…"

Three eyes turned back around to see what Urd was doing, but found only an empty seat in her place. Jerking back around toward Naruto they watched as Urd made her way toward the pair. They couldn't see her face, but the three girls imaginations provided all the ammunition they needed.

"Lovers quarrel."

"Definitely."

"I never knew Naruto was a playboy. And he's playing around with older women too."

"I think the other woman is trying to steal Urd-san's man."

Almost simultaneously, the three girls vowed to make sure the other girls knew about Naruto's scandalous situation. They remembered Ino saying something about going after Naruto. And Hinata, the poor girl could barely talk about him without blushing. Looking at the two women surrounding Naruto they wondered if their former classmates even stood a chance.

* * *

"I remember that Hokage painting trick. I didn't see what all the fuss was about. It looked pretty good from where I stayed."

Naruto reigned in the urge to gloat too much. He knew everyone else was making a big deal out of nothing and to see someone else share his opinion validated his claims. Who cared if it was just one person against the hundreds that stayed in Konoha.

"Yeah well," he started with a blush staining his cheeks, "I was going to stink bomb the school but decided something a little more daring."

"I'll say you did a pretty good job."

Naruto stopped mid step and looked behind him. "Urd-chan?"

Urd stood, one hip pointed to the side, hand resting along it and a smile that promised trouble was on her face; but her eyes were dead serious. She looked like a totally different person. "Naruto-kun, who's your new friend?"

He never got to answer.

"Mitarashi Anko. It's nice to meet you. Naruto's told me all about you."

Looking between the two women in confusion, Naruto wondered why the air was suddenly thickening around him. The hairs on the back of his neck were rising and his danger sense was telling him to run. Oblivious to why he should be high-tailing it out of the area he asked, "Do you two know each other?"

"No. I'm just curious about a few things." Urd waved off. "Like that very interesting aura surrounding your friend. Brings a few questions to mind."

Anko's face remained the blank slate but a small, almost imperceptible smile came to her lips. "I see… In that case I guess I was right to suspect something."

"WOULD YOU TWO TELL ME WHAT THE HELL"S GOING ON?" yelled Naruto, tired of not knowing what they were talking about.

Urd tried to get angry but she was a little too annoyed to get anything. His shout had drawn a crowd and she knew what she wanted to say wasn't fit for anyone to hear or know. Putting as much false cheer into her voice as possible she said, "We have to meet up soon to talk. How about tonight, at the Uemechii Bar, nine o'clock?"

Anko simply nodded, not bothering to add her two cents, but she was curious about one thing. "How did you see?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

Anko's answering smile was too bright to be considered anything good. "I guess not."

* * *

Urd picked up the small saucer and threw back the whole cup of sake effortlessly. She didn't want to admit it but she was a little apprehensive about the meeting and the easiest way to loosen up in her opinion was by enjoying a jug or two of the good stuff.

She heard the sound of footsteps coming closer and by the sound of it the person was very male. She'd been turning down pesky suitors for the past thirty minutes and it was getting tiring, especially the way some of the dumber ones kept railing against Naruto in hopes she'd miraculously jump into their arms. Honestly, what type of man would be jealous of a thirteen-year-old kid?

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" whoever bozo number ten was asked.

Not even bothering to look up she politely let him down as easily as possible. Something of a blessing considering how annoyed she was getting. "Actually it is. I'm waiting for someone."

Not taking the hint he decided to push a little further. "I don't think the kid's allowed out past curfew. So…"

"Didn't the woman say she didn't want to be bothered? I think that meant leave her the hell alone."

Urd turned toward the young shinobi's unlikely savior. Walking toward her spot in the back of the bar was her guest, Mitarashi Anko. Looking at the trench coat, skirt, and fishnet shirt combo Urd had to give the woman credit. She knew how to wear an outfit that would drop any hot-blooded male dead. But looking at the ash-faced ninja next to her it was becoming apparent that Anko was known for a totally different reason.

"Anko-san, I had no idea you were her guest," the man sputtered.

The smile on Anko's face was one hundred percent predator. With a light sway in her hips she approached the rapidly sweating shinobi. Leaning in close to whisper in his ear when he was too scared to move from his spot. "I tell you what big boy. You go run along and play with your little friends or else me and you are going to have some fun tonight." Giving him a small lick across his sweating neck she asked, "Do you want that?"

The sight of him tripping over chairs in his haste to escape Konoha's number one psycho was too funny for Urd not to laugh at. Pouring herself another cup she nodded at the unexpected help. "Maybe not the way I would have done it, but you can't argue with the results."

Shrugging in answer Anko took the open seat, shooting a glare at the other patrons that sent the whole room hurrying back to their own drinks. "I'm guessing since you called me here you saw my little performance the other night?"

"You could say that." Urd answered. "I shouldn't be, but I was surprised to discover a demoness living in the village."

Anko reached for the bottle and helped herself to a dish of sake. "I have a proposition. I ask a question, get an answer and you get the same privilege." The look on Urd's face was enough for Anko to get the gist of her thoughts. "I'm not just going to sit here and go through with an interrogation. Seeing as how neither one of us is able to force the issue, this is the best way to amicably go about this."

Her reasoning was sound. If things did get out of hand there would be trouble on both ends. Whoever this woman was, she held the home field advantage. Going undercover as one of the village's shinobi gave her a considerable edge when it came to protection. Being that she was a Goddess, as easy as it would be to destroy them all if it came to that she couldn't commit such a crime. The Almighty looked down on stuff like that apparently.

Grudgingly admitting a short truce Urd started off the questioning with a simple, "Who are you?"

Taking a demure sip of the alcohol that seemed so out of character for the woman Anko introduced her _real_ self. "I must say it's a pleasure to meet you in person Urd, the estranged daughter of Hild-sama. As for myself, I am known as Morrigan Aensland, daughter of Belial and ruler of the Western cone of Nifleheim," she finished with a coy smirk.

The sake in Urd's throat suddenly began to taste like ash, and the only reaction she could think of doing was to gape at the woman across from her.

* * *

_She raised her head for a split second to look outside and that's when she saw her. Briefly noting Naruto at her side, the woman Naruto was walking with may have appeared normal to everyone else in this village but to Urd she had an aura surrounding her that screamed of Nifleheims influence. A swirl of dark colors, reds, blacks, dark blues, and deep purples swam around her presence and Urd struggled with the thought of her walking around plain as day. Before she knew what she was doing, Urd was up out her seat and making her way toward the pair._

"So what are you doing here?" Urd decided to ask after composing herself. More than a little curious as to why someone of Morrigan's rather sordid reputation would bother coming to this place.

A slight shrugging of her shoulders, Morrigan easily answered. "I'm escaping from the various suitors and responsibilities in my world."

The sake went down the wrong pipe and Urd chocked on the precious liquid. Staring at the other woman as if she were crazy, she blinked and rubbed her ears, sure she heard the wrong thing. "Huh?"

Morrigan fixed Urd with a bored stare. "You're a very beautiful woman Urd. I know you know what it's like having to deal with suitors that you would like to do nothing more than douse their very souls in the pits of Hell. And my realm can become hideously tedious sometimes." Namely one Demitri Maximov and his repeated attempts at forcing a union between the two of them. Honestly, that man just never learned.

A large sweat drop appeared on the back of Urd's head. Unfortunately she could understand, fortunately she never got to the removing souls point. Shooting back another saucer Urd said, "I can understand somewhat. I don't think coming here would make such a difference." Her own experiences told her that. She was in the upper fifty's in letdowns and it's only been two days.

"As you can see, I've created quite the persona. Only the foolish and desperate come around and they don't hang around long. That helps a lot considering my nature." Morrigan smiled, her true persona flashing in her eyes for a split second. Enough time for Urd to catch the barest hint of her power.

"You're a succubus."

A nod. "Correct. The strongest of my kind." Morrigan pointed out.

Silence descended for several odd seconds with Urd processing the information, before Morrigan voiced a question of her own. "The Kyuubi child. You are here for him?"

Urd wasn't going to answer but remembered their short-term agreement. "Yeah. Somehow it was deemed acceptable to grant him a wish."

"Interesting." There was a dangerous sparkle in Morrigan's eye when she asked, "What did he wish for?"

Smirking behind her saucer Urd waved away the question. "That I can't tell you. Goddess-Client confidentiality and all that baloney."

"So where is he now?" Morrigan asked.

Urd growled into the empty bottle. Raising her hand to signal for another one. "Training I think. Kids never had a real house and soon as I get him one he goes and tries to destroy the yard."

"I would think with his test approaching tomorrow he would be resting."

Urd shook her head at that. "He probably doesn't even know what exhausted means. It won't bother him tomorrow."

"What were you talking to Naruto about earlier?" He seemed like a different person. Not in the extreme sense, but he came home and went straight to work in the yard with barely a hello.

"Simple, I have agreed to tutor him somewhat in his training."

That did not sit well with her. Urd didn't know the woman personally, but by all accounts the reports on Morrigan had shown that she'd never been one for violence. She got her jollies by sucking the souls out of her victims and storing that same energy. Tragic and terrible that someone would die just to keep her sustained, but her crimes were a lot less eye catching than many of her peers.

That didn't make her any less of a threat. From the little that Urd knew, Morrigan was a scary, powerful demon. Supposedly surpassing her in raw power.

Morrigan could see the concern and idly debated whether she should leave the Goddess in a sea of confusion. "To quell your worries we did make a contract. It has nothing to do with his life or soul. The power he wields prevents me from even trying such an action, but we have come to an agreement."

"And that is?" Urd asked, not liking the dangerous turn of events.

Morrigan's smile was sharp enough to cut glass. "That my dear I can't say. Demon-Client confidentiality and all that."

Despite the seriousness of the situation Urd couldn't help but laugh. "Touché."

Morrigan silently looked into her cup. It was her turn now but she really didn't have a question at the moment. Urd didn't seem like one of those berserker evangelist angels she ran into sometimes, but you never know. Sometimes it took the slightest provocation and then weapons were drawn.

"What do you think of him?"

Urd was totally lost for a second. "Who?"

"The young Uzumaki," Morrigan clarified.

"That's a loaded question." Leaning back into her seat Urd slumped down a bit to get comfortable. The posture was so unlike her that Skuld would have had a fit. "Not because of anything too heavy, the kids just thirteen, but I care about him a lot. His well meaning is my first priority. It's why I'm skeptical of you."

Morrigan nodded, expecting as much. "Fear not. The boy is far too powerful even in his untrained state to dally foolishly with. He would not only bring harm to himself in the state he's in now."

"True, but that doesn't explain why you're doing this."

Morrigan gave a wink after swallowing another saucer of drink. "That is between me and Naruto-kun."

Urd frowned at the familiar usage of Naruto's name but remained silent. There were other questions she wanted to ask but those could wait. She had a question that had been on the tip of her tongue for awhile and it needed asking. The ball back in her court Urd asked, "That body, why use her? You could have simply come down as yourself and hid just as well."

"True," Morrigan nodded. "But it is far simpler this way." At Urd's inquisitive look Morrigan began to elaborate. "The Mitarashi Anko they know or use to know is dead." Eyes glazing over Morrigan continued talking in the same seductive tone. "When Orochimaru gave the young woman that curse seal of his it had some adverse reactions. Instead of just eating away at her chakra when it activated and reforming her, the disease began eroding away at her insides, very similar to a form of cancer. Though they managed to repress the seal to a manageable level in due time, without the proper medical foresight the girl never knew it was killing her in the inside. On one of my excursions through this realm I found her on her death bed, vainly trying to hold onto life and try as I might there was no way to save her."

Taking another drink Morrigan soothed her dry throat. "We talked for some time that night and I learned her one wish was to destroy Orochimaru. A simple wish to grant really in the long run so I agreed. The contract was signed and sealed, I took her soul in as a part of myself and I began to use the visage of her earthly form for the time it would take me to complete her wish, however long that takes." Morrigan finished with a grin.

At that moment you could have shoved Urd over with a whistle. If there was ever a reason to be weary of demons and any of their ilk it was this very example. Never mind how brilliant the plan of hers had been. The whole story could be compared to the sort of shark-eyed planning her mother was known for. Pulling herself together Urd warily examined the woman before her. If not for her overhearing the conversation she had with Naruto she would have never pinpointed the woman unless there was direct confrontation involved. Her illusion was just that good.

"How were you even allowed to grant the contract," Urd asked mystified.

"Uh-uh." Morrigan waved a finger. "No more from me. I get to ask you something."

Finger on the tip of her chin Urd was starting to see the difference. Where Anko was presumed to be some sort of borderline psychopath who no one in this village willingly confronted, Morrigan, as all succubus were, radiated this sexual tension that fairly leaked from her aura and movements. During the conversation Urd was seeing more of her true persona steadily coming forth, blanketing the area. Given Urd herself was never considered a prude, believing in more of an open mind about some things, the effects were becoming a little hard to ignore.

Morrigan asked, "Why haven't you tried getting employed to do this ninja stuff? You could have easily had your superiors craft you a background."

Urd. Work. The horror of it all snapped her out of the sensual fog that was surrounding her. "I'm allergic to it. Working too much makes me break out in hives."

Morrigan blink-blinked, at a loss of what to say. Urd simply reached over and grabbed the bottle, relieving it from the succubus's hands. Maybe she ought to get home. When the numbers of jugs they drank were forgotten, that normally meant it was a good time to leave before she ended up spooned to someone she didn't know. That was the last thing she needed with the way Naruto was carrying on.

"I guess it's my turn again. Nobody says a word about you being down here? You are royalty so they're probably having a fit looking for you," Urd stated behind another drink.

Morrigan leaned her head against her open left palm. "Of course they had a fit, but nothing could be done about it. Similar to Yggdrasil, once Nidheg processes an order there is little beyond the end of all creation that could be done to stop it."

Despite what she should be feeling Urd had to admire the woman's tenacity. "You're a sneaky little devil." Urd chuckled.

Showing a hint of fang while smiling, Morrigan saluted the Goddess across from her. "I've never been one to let little things like rules get in my way."

"Please don't say that," Urd mumbled, right hand massaging her temples. "You sound too much like these bozos walking around here tonight."

Laughing at the grumbling Goddess Anko shrugged her shoulders. "Men, that's pretty much the only thing they're good for. Of course I don't complain. They keep me happily sated."

Urd raised an elegant eyebrow, her face morphing into a lecherous grin "Come on girl. Dish the dirt. Who's the stud around here?"

Morrigan didn't bother holding back her giggle. The unexplained sound almost clearing out the entire bar. "Well… there's Genma. Boy is he…

Needless to say, the rest of that conversation would be better left to their ears alone.

* * *

Thanks to JohnnyG for pre-reading this. It's sad to say, but my fourth grade spelling bee championship ribbon isn't too helpful when I read over my own work.

AN: My brother pointed out this thing is kinda plotless right now and that's good. I'm trying to focus on the daily insanity for awhile. Before Naruto leaves for the Wave Country he'll have a week or two of the most insane antics ever to hit Konoha falling on him.

Why Morrigan? A lot went into this. My first reason was because I loved her character. I've played the games, got the comics and the OVA. She's smart, intelligent, sexy, and is royalty to boot. Let's not forget the maybe hundreds of people out to kill her, namely one muscle bound vampire. Excellent starting points for any woman trying to help complicate Naruto's life all the more.

Another point is because I wanted someone other than Mara. I love her character and her relationship with Urd. But there is no way she could coexist with Urd for longer than a few days. Hild's got her claws in her too well. A plus is that although she's a demon Morrigan isn't necessarily evil. She's got her habits but you don't have to worry about her sticking a Chidori into her teammates chest. Bada Bang. LOL.

On an completely unrelated note, just go through beating Resident Evil 4 for PS2. Greatest game I've ever played in my life. It puts half the movies that are out now to shame. If you have the time and patience try it out. You will not be disappointed.

My new favorite anime character. Monkey D. Luffy. He may seem like he's a moron but you screw with his nakama and that's it. You might as well call the coroner or get ready for a mighty high doctor bill. I'm just now getting into One Piece so I'm kind late but I love the show. No relationship overtones whatsoever, just pure comedy, a little angst thrown in every now and then, and a dream. Great show.


	4. Act I 04: Ah! Things Are Getting Messy

**Ah! My Naruto**

By Gmusick

**Act I: Chapter 04 – Ah! Things Keep Getting More Complicated**

Disclaimer: Same as first chapter.

Coming down the stairs Naruto stared at the sight before him in dumbfounded disbelief.

"I can imagine where you two hung out last night."

His voice felt like a sonic boom, resounding against the quiet of the room and sending her head pounding again. It was a cruel twist of fate that sake was her form of alternate energy, but she was never able to stop herself from having hangovers.

"Can you keep it down? This headache is killing me," came Urd's muffled reply.

Urd was laid out on the sofa, her left arm dangling over the edge and her face turned into the seat cushions. We he went to bed last night and didn't see her he had a momentary thought of concern before he remembered the meeting between her and Anko.

"What time is it anyway? I don't think I'm going into work today," someone said from the adjoining couch.

"Anko?" Naruto asked in disbelief.

"Shhhhh. Not so loud," Urd whispered, wishing the pillows were thick enough to drown out that annoying chirping coming from outside.

He silently watched Anko somehow curl up into a tighter ball. Managing to squeeze herself into the sofa chair, or what Urd had called a love seat. It looked uncomfortable as hell but he doubted she even noticed. Looking at the two of them in apparent agony he was learning a valuable lesson. Never, ever, ever, let Urd and Anko take him out to drink. There was enough proof in front of his face to make him swear off alcohol for life.

"What time did you come in last night?"

Anko blinked the morning sun out her eyes and tried to locate Naruto by the sound of his voice. "What's this? It's been just a couple of days and he's already giving you a curfew?."

Not moving an inch, Urd answered, "I don't remember. What time did we come in?"

"Must have been late. Hope we didn't hurt anybody."

'_I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know._'

Naruto repeated the mantra as walked into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator he looked and after several seconds reached for the easiest thing he could put together. A jug of milk to go with the box of cereal. Quick, easy, and light on the stomach.

He remembered her telling him eating a meal before the test would be the smart thing to do, but looking at her laid out in the chair he wanted to make sure. "Anko-san, you sure I should eat something. He said we shouldn't eat anything."

"Trust me. It won't make a bit of difference one way or the other."

Urd turned her head around, facing Anko's general direction. "Isn't that sabotage? You sure he won't get mad at you for spoiling his test?"

Anko, indifferent to the question, shrugged. "No. Who's going to tell him?"

"Good answer."

The two women lapsed back into silence. Taking a seat at the table Naruto, wolfing down the bowl of cereal, decided that ignoring the women would be the best choice. If he started talking to them too much he wouldn't be on time. The old man across the hall from him was always drunk. He would ramble on about the good ol' days for hours and hours. He didn't have that time today. With Urd being a Goddess though, she probably had some interesting stories.

He finished off his breakfast in record time. Putting the bowl in the sink, he made his way into the living room securing his item pouch, and making sure he had a decent number of kunai on hand.

Even with her eyes closed Anko caught his movement. "A word of advice. Don't try to be a hero, okay? There is no way you could beat him, and even if you were well trained it would take a helluva lot to take down Kakashi." She took a deep breath to stop the pounding. "Always look for an alternative way to accomplish your goal. If I were you I'd use my teammates."

He stopped for a second to take in her words of advice. She was a far more accomplished ninja, so doubting her would have been stupid. But that crack about using his teammates… He tried visualizing the three of them teaming up for anything but the image wouldn't surface.

With a nod and wave he left the house, closing the shoji screen door behind him.

"You think he's going to pass?" Urd asked, a little worried.

Anko shook her head. "He shouldn't. I can't tell with Kakashi. I don't remember anybody passing his exams."

"Maybe I need to give him a little help."

"Nah. He can do it. Otherwise it wouldn't mean anything."

Urd reluctantly agreed. Besides, she doubted she could use any spell and not blow up something with her head sea-sawing back and forth like it was.

"Can we go cheer for him?"

The act of moving brought a groan of frustration from Anko. '_Just how much did we drink?_' "No, but if we get rid of these hangovers by the time he's finished we can throw him a party."

"Good idea."

"Oh , and Anko?" The other girl muttered something, a sign she was listening. "You haven't told him about yourself have you?"

"…"

"Thought not."

* * *

He would have hated to see the outcome had he not for once in his life paid attention to someone telling him something. Kakashi-sensei was a damn good ninja. Almost the entire fight his face stayed buried in that book of his. He hated to admit it, but the only time he seemed to get serious was when he fought Sasuke. He hated the guy. Despised his high handed attitude and the way he thought anyone and everyone should acknowledge him.

But Naruto wasn't going to lie to himself. The best and only move he had was the Kage Bushin and Kakashi-sensei batted him aside like he was nothing. It was only desperation that made him team up with Sasuke in the end despite Anko's earlier warning.

Leaning back against the wooden post he was tied to, Naruto idly wondered why he was taking this defeat so lightly. Going back to Academy wasn't his idea of fun, but Anko seemed like she was honest about training him. If she held up her end of the bargain then one more year wouldn't be that bad.

"Who am I kidding," he muttered, hanging his head dejectedly. "I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL," he shouted to the sky.

"What the hell are you shouting about dobe?" Sasuke sneered.

Naruto looked at Sasuke like he'd grown two heads. "We're going back to the Academy. What else could it be?"

Somehow, someway Sasuke's face managed to frown up even more. "I'm not going back anywhere. If you two weren't so weak we wouldn't be here."

Naruto glanced over and watched as Sakura's face collapsed. If he wanted to know how big of an asshole Sasuke could be, Naruto had all the evidence he needed. Glaring at Sasuke he put as much contempt in me voice as he could. "It didn't look like you did much better. I doubt you lasted any longer than us."

If he hadn't been looking he wouldn't have noticed the slight flinch.

'_Bingo'_

He glared back at Naruto. "Lot of good you did. What did you think charging him like an idiot would do? No wonder you're dead last."

Naruto almost snarled, trying in vain to get out of the tight rope. "Wait until I get out of this. I'll kick your ass."

"Hmph. You never could and never will."

Watching the two of them go at it Sakura's reflex action to back up Sasuke suddenly fled her when she saw how serious they were about decimating each other. This was becoming a recurrent problem, not the fighting; she doubted the two of them would ever get along, but her second guessing herself when it came to Naruto. He didn't seem that different. He was still loud on occasion, and he had the ability to talk without thinking over what he was about to say, so what was it?

Though she didn't want to admit it, it had almost everything to do with the gossip surrounding him. It was petty and shallow but that's what it was and despite her best attempts at seeming disinterested she was just as curious as everyone else, probably even more so. He hadn't stared at her or tried to manipulate her attention all morning. It felt weird and she missed it after having to deal with his attention for years.

_Groooooooowl._

Sakura blinked at the sudden noise and looked at Naruto.

"Sorry. I worked up an appetite," he said, giving a sheepish grin.

Sasuke looked as if he was caught in an epic internal debate of colossal proportions. For what seemed like minutes he silently ignored both his teammates inquisitive looks, something he was apparently good at, and frowned.

Naruto readied himself for another verbal spar and watched in a stupor as Sasuke pulled out a kunai to cut through the rope.

His mental processes were having to hard of a time assimilating the vision and were desperately trying to stop his brain from stopping completely. Naruto had a spare thought to wonder if Sasuke had finally snapped under the pressure of being such a 'stick up the butt' asshole.

Sakura, once again torn between indecision once again timidly tried to get Sasuke's attention. "Sasuke-kun, what are you doing?"

He didn't turn around to give his answer, continuing to slice through the rope. "I'm helping this baka get the ropes."

"But what about Kakashi-sensei?"

"He's not here and I can't sense him anywhere in the area so we're okay."

Through the whole ordeal Naruto thought he was in some sort of bizarre world. Sasuke helping him, Sakura second guessing Sasuke. What was going on?

His feet touched down on the soft earth and he warily watched as Sasuke went back to his seat. Naruto watched the Uchiha to see if there was some catch, something he failed to pick up on. Then he chided himself for being ridiculous.

Sakura tentatively looked between the two boys and reached her bento out, offering it to Naruto with a shy smile. "You should eat it. You must be hungry from the sound of things."

His response was something he never would have said if he hadn't ever met Urd. "It's not poisoned is it?"

The clearing fell into complete silence. Even Sasuke couldn't help the incredulous look that showed on his face. Sakura for her part handled the question admirably. She didn't display any signs of the anger that she felt. Other than the hideously huge vein sticking out on the top of her left eyebrow, she seemed perfectly fine.

"Dobe." Sasuke said, shaking his head in disbelief.

As if his words were a signal Sakura stood. Naruto took one look at her face and knew if he allowed her the chance to get her hands on him he was going to be in an awful lot of pain.

She was barely two steps away from his reaching him when a loud boom and a puff of smoke surrounded them. There was a moment of spine-snapping fear, and he knew who he was going to see when the smoke cleared. Sakura, who was facing him, could see the look in his eyes and knew they were in trouble.

'_Please God, don't let me fail. I'll be the perfect little girl.'_

"You …"

When the smoke cleared there stood Hatake Kakashi, his one visible eye was serious, colder than anything the three graduates could remember seeing. He took a step toward them and despite the warning bells telling them something was horribly wrong they stood their ground.

"…all passed the exam."

This was the second time that unnatural silence surrounded them and Naruto found out he didn't like it. Their sensei was standing there looking smug and satisfied. Sakura looked like she was close to having a heart attack. And Sasuke, he stood in the same trance like state, looking just as surprised.

"B-b-but, I thought you said…" Sakura started, still struggling with the situation. There was a slow smile spreading across her face as she came to grips that they finally made it.

He waved his hand, waving off the sentence before Sakura finished. "I got to admit, I didn't think you three were going to make it, but you pulled through. You all are the first group to ever pass my exam."

Naruto blinked in disbelief, but listened as Kakashi-sensei began talking. He was imparting what made a ninja worthy of respect and the need of having good teamwork. In the back of his mind as he listened Naruto found a modicum of respect for the man before him. He talked a little longer and then excused himself, taking off to do whatever Jounin's did in their free time.

With the meeting over Naruto found himself oddly excited to get _home_. The word seemed like a foreign concept on some levels. Home just a couple of days ago was a rundown apartment complex he'd been given when the Hokage couldn't find anywhere else to house him. The room he'd been given could barely be considered such. There had been holes in the roof that leaked when it rained. Sometimes he couldn't get hot water and had to bathe in the freezing spray of the showerhead. Just a few instances of what he went through but they were a vivid reminder of what he lived in everyday for years.

Now, he had his own house, in his own name according to Urd, and a real friend. She had some strange hobbies, but she honestly wanted to help him, she just did it in some strange ways. Like yesterday when he found out she'd been interviewing girls to be his girlfriend he hadn't known what to think. His initial response was to get angry, but when he thought about it, it was a little flattering.

He started to walk away, turning around to give a small wave to Sakura and a nod to Sasuke. "I'm going home. See you two tomorrow."

Neither one had an opportunity to speak a word back because Naruto was already in the distance, racing home.

* * *

When Naruto walked into his home he didn't even get out a quick hello before he noticed two things. There was blue smoke and Urd was trying desperately to air out the whole house. His mental ability to cope with the absurd was stronger than it had been before Urd dropped into his life, but he was still at a loss.

"What's going on?"

Stopping in mid-step Urd looked startled to see him. With the way she'd been running around he had doubted she heard him.

Spinning around, she looked surprised to see him. "Naruto. What are you doing back so early?"

Cocking an eyebrow, he looked around, waving a hand to point out the smoke in the house. "What's happened?"

She stumbled over a proper explanation. "Uh… There's been a problem."

They were only four words, but the ramifications could be innumerable, and just like that he wondered why he was in such a rush to come home.

"What happened?"

Scratching the back of her head, Urd tried not to look directly at Naruto. He didn't look upset, but she figured that was more from him not understanding what was going on.

"Well… You see…"

"Urd, where is the… Naruto-kun?"

Coming around the corner was a woman. He kept it simple and plain because there were no words to describe how beautiful she was. Swaying into the room she wore a tight white blouse unbuttoned enough that he could see a tantalizing bit of cleavage. She wore red leather pants that looked to be painted on they were so tight and if that wasn't eye catching enough the neon green hair that fairly shimmered, cascading down her back, somehow made the picture stunningly exotic.

He didn't know who she was but he doubted there were even a handful of women in the world that could pull the outfit off.

The sight of her was so jarring he totally forgot about finding out the problem. Which left three people staring at each other in variable forms of astonishment or surprise.

"Who are you?" Naruto managed to squeak out, his voice unnaturally subdued.

Urd and Morrigan exchanged a quick glance. The short catch of their eyes silently communicating a conversation only known to the two of them alone.

After Naruto left earlier in the morning, and the two of them worked off their hangovers, they talked about this particular moment. Urd didn't think the Succubus should keep it a secret. Her line of thinking was if Morrigan was going to teach Naruto how and when to harness his power then he should know everything that was going on. Morrigan hadn't had any particular reason to keep her true appearance a secret, but she didn't make it a point of flaunting it. Being located in a military ninja village didn't give her a lot of options to use it in the first place. So why bother?

That was until one of Urd's wacky potions exploded when she dropped it by accident. The blue smoke was a direct result of that. Whatever was in the glass tubing, Urd had rattled off a long list of chemical names she couldn't begin to understand, was strong enough to make her drop her glimmer spell. She couldn't maintain the human visage of Mitarashi Anko, henceforth why she appeared as she was now.

Unfortunately before they could clear the house of the smoke Naruto came home.

"I am Morrigan Aensland, queen of the Succubus and one of the various overlords of Nifleheim."

Naruto closed his eyes and tried to will himself away from this point and time. "I don't care. You wanna know what happened to me on the way here."

Urd nodded and Morrigan remained still, somehow sensing Naruto was about to go on a rant.

"I had two Chuunin's I've never seen before try to ambush me to challenge me for a date with Urd, three girls from my old class made me stop and tried their best to charm me for information, Ino somehow managed to corner me and tried to blackmail me into a date, somehow word has spread that I've become a playboy, and if that wasn't enough Kiba and five other people tried to trail me to my own home."

The two other worldy women simply stood in mute disbelief.

"Think I'm joking. Look out the window. You can see a little white dog peeking out from the bushes."

Urd did just that, and couldn't stifle the giggle that rose up.

Since the house was in one of Konoha's more secluded areas, it had a good amount of forest area surrounding it. It had been one of her main points of attraction. Away from the main village proper, not too many people would venture into the outskirts of the city, not when the Kyuubi's container lived in the area.

Naruto drew the attention to himself again, talking to Morrigan with a tired sigh. "Since you're Urd's friend you can do whatever. I'm going to go take a nap before I go to see Anko-san."

They watched him walk by and head to his room, neither one knowing what to make of Naruto's strange behavior.

"Is he always like that?" Morrigan asked.

Urd shook her head. "I've never seen him like that." Thinking over his behavior her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "Did he just say you were one of my friends?"

Morrigan rested a finely manicured hand against her hip and smiled. "He sure did. Looks like I won't have to tell him anything."

"That doesn't count," Urd said indignantly.

"Unfortunately it does." Looking in the direction Naruto went to she added, "I think your warping the poor boy and you've barely been here a week."

Urd responded hotly. "I haven't did anything."

"Riiiiiiiiiiight."

Rolling her eyes at the neon green-haired vixens sarcastic-ness, Urd said, "Don't you need to go back to work or something?"

Morrigan frowned at the unwelcome thought. "Take the fun out of my day. How can I get the glamour back up anyway?"

Urd thought about the question for a moment. "The smoke is sticking to your skin. A simple shower should wash everything off."

"Are those kids still outside?"

Taking a small glance out the window Urd nodded in answer.

"Can't leave yet then. I'll use your shower and get this stuff off."

Turning to Morrigan's retreating figure, Urd tried to rally some help. "You aren't going to help me clean this place up?"

Morrigan never stopped her stride. "Nope. Got a hot date with a blonde-haired kid to get ready for."

"Hey! He's only twelve years old!." Urd shouted when Morrigan was out of view.

* * *

Naruto arrived at the designated training area and found Anko sitting atop a tree stump, happily chomping away at a stick of dango. He'd left the house earlier than expected, only offering a quick goodbye to Urd. He knew it wasn't the most well-mannered thing to do, but oh well. Talking to her for any extended period of time often led to disastrous results.

That blue smoke being one of them. He had one of the most bizarre dreams he could ever remember. There were demons of all sizes, shapes and colors. Resplendent in armor of the darkest purples, reds, and blacks; some were beautiful in a way that left him breathless and others were so hideously malformed they seemed to be some amalgam of nightmares put together. They were all amassed on a hill, the sky a blood-red that seemed too unnatural to be real. There was talking, jumbled words from a language he didn't understand. The whole thing had seemed so surreal, layered by a freaky-feeling first-person point of view. He didn't remember how long he stood immersed in the dream, but it must have been awhile because Urd had to wake him up.

During the walk to meet Anko he tried recalling more of what happened but most of it eluded him. Maybe he should ask Urd what that blue smoke was. He didn't want to suddenly grow horns or start slobbering on himself.

"Yo!" Anko shouted as he came into view.

He returned the greeting, though it was a bit more subdued.

"You okay?"

He looked up, his face a little uncertain. "Yeah. I just had this weird dream when I went to sleep earlier."

"What about?"

He released a sigh. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

"Try me."

Naruto shook his head. "I'd rather not."

Anko stared at him for a moment, seemingly looking right through him. It was a weird feeling, like she already knew what he was thinking. Instead of staring back, he simply tried diverting her attention to another subject.

"So what are we doing today. You gonna teach me how to blow up stuff?."

Anko smiled, giving him a look at the same time he took to mean she knew what he was doing. "I'm not going to teach you to blow up anything. You need to learn some control first."

Naruto frowned. "Control. What's that got to do with anything?"

She sauntered her way up to him until they stood only a couple of inches apart. Tapping him on the forehead she said, "Everything. You can't have power and use it responsibly without the right amount of control."

Naruto didn't understand, and his face must have seemed like an open book.

"Take the Hokage. He's the strongest ninja in the village correct?" At Naruto's nod she continued. "It's widely known that he's the most powerful but along with that notoriety comes a sense of responsibility. What if he just decided one day to say fuck it and he didn't want to do it anymore, what's to stop him from simply making a bunch of rules to make his life easier and do whatever the hell he pleased."

She didn't go into startling detail about the hierarchy of Konoha. Anko knew Naruto didn't know about the check and balance system that was in place. Yes, the Hokage was ruler supreme but in order not to give him too much leeway a council was set in place to vote down certain measures if push came to shove. His lack of knowledge would help her make a point though.

Naruto eyes were wide as saucers. He'd never thought about it like that. The easy, more ideal answer he always used when regarding his onetime ultimate dream somehow seemed wrong and he had to really think about it.

What did stop the Hokage from simply doing whatever he pleased? He was the best, the most powerful ninja in the whole country and no one would willingly go up against him if he decided things needed to change. Glancing up he could see Anko looking down at him with a smirk on her face.

"See what I mean. The greater the power, the greater the responsibility and need for control. Being a shinobi can be fun, but knowing how to throw around red hot flames and freezing ice isn't something you teach to anybody. And considering who you are I think control is something you _need_."

Naruto looked up at her, his face a blank mask, but Anko could feel the tension coming off of him.

Waving a hand at his defensiveness, Anko shrugged. "I know and don't care. You don't think I just hopped up one day and decided to do it. I've been watching you for awhile."

"That's stalker behavior."

Anko and Naruto looked up into an overhanging branch, finding Urd swinging her legs, looking as carefree and easygoing as she was on the ground.

"What are you doing here?" Anko deadpanned, not surprised for some reason to see the Goddess.

"I got bored and wanted to watch. Great speech by the way," Urd winked.

Anko asked, "How did you get here?"

"Walked."

"Where's the slobbering, rabid groupies?"

Urd's eyes took on a luminescent light, making the hair on Naruto's neck stand on end.

"There weren't that many at all. I think mostly everyone has gotten over the shock of it. But one idiot tried to get grabby, so I showed him."

Naruto didn't like the sound of that at all. "What did you do?"

She shook her head, a little perturbed that he thought she bungled up something. "I shook his hand a sent a couple of volts into him to let him know that I wasn't going to be messed with."

Anko shook her head in wonder. "Why am I not surprised?."

Directing a glare and the woman below, "I wouldn't go too far if I were you. Some of us are keeping seeeeecreeeeeets."

"You wouldn't dare."

Urd's eyes were shining with mischief. "Try me."

Lost in the mounting argument taking place, Naruto tried to get the lesson back to him. He had no idea what they were talking about but from the frightening battle auras they were emitting it wasn't anything pleasant. "Anko-san, weren't you going to teach me something."

She blinked, turning to look at him as if it was her first time seeing him.

'_What the hell is wrong with these women!'_

A simple question for which he knew he wouldn't receive a simple answer.

"What was I talking about again?" Anko wondered aloud.

"Control, Anko-san. You were talking about control," Urd readily answered, cheeky grin in place.

Anko muttered under her breath something foul enough to make even a sailor's son blush.

"Okay. We'll start off with tree climbing. If you can master that then we'll go on from there."

"Tree climbing?" Naruto tried not to sound so unenthusiastic, but he failed miserably.

Urd agreed with Naruto's view. "I don't blame you. It sounds horribly boring. I can fix a potion that could help your body balance out everything in a blink of an eye."

Nothing scared him more and Naruto practically begged Anko to tell him everything he needed to know. After a detailed explanation, where he never uttered a single word, Naruto grabbed a kunai and streaked into the forest for a suitable tree.

Urd's brow was creased into a frown. "All he had to say is no thank-you."

"You can't blame him. Your track record speaks for itself."

Her hands glowing in purplish light, Urd stood on the branch, her hair fluttering in a sudden breeze. "You want to try me?"

Anko smirked, letting a hint of her razor sharp canines show. "You sure you want to try this now? I would love to, but unfortunately I don't want to get started and have to stop. It would only take a few minutes before ANBU or some other shinobi catch wind of what's going on and come to investigate."

A static charge that had rent the air began to dissipate as Urd powered down. She did have a point. In the Earth realm such antics would go unnoticed and she could throw magic around without a second thought.

Skuld pisses her off. ZAP!

Toshiyuki being a pervert. ZAP!

Mara getting on her nerves. ZAP!

It took only a short mental debate to help her make a decision.

"What rank are you?"

Anko figured Urd was talking about her shinobi ranking. "Special Jounin."

Urd looked thoughtful for a moment. "Sounds important."

Shrugging her shoulders, Anko didn't agree. "Not really. Just means we're assigned special jobs and have more work to do than regular Jounins. In a way it's a pain sometimes."

"So you pretty much run your own show?"

Not liking the line of questioning Anko narrowed her eyes and asked, "Kinda. Why?"

Urd looked like the cat that got the canary, the grin on her a frightening combination of someone's precious little girl and Orochimaru's.

"Oh! No reason."

Anko was caught completely flat footed when a ball of purplish lightning hit her right in the face.

The explosion that sounded in the forest drew the attention of Naruto but displaying a mental strength worthy of an Olympian he simply ignored the indignant female shouts, booming explosions, plus foul language and concentrated on tree climbing. If he tried hard enough maybe he could sink himself into mental exhaustion and find out he dreamt this whole thing up because his reality couldn't be this messed up.

* * *

Sakura was having a pleasant chat with Hinata. The two of them didn't talk to each other much, during their years in the Academy Sakura couldn't really pinpoint any important conversation between the two of them, but it was a nice change of pace to talk to another female every now and then. With the gauntlet thrown down between Ino, all their conversations seemed to devolve into shouting matches which made Hinata a perfect conversationalist.

It would help immensely if she didn't blush and stutter every time the subject of Naruto came up.

"Why haven't you told him you liked him yet?" Sakura asked, driving to the root of Hinata's problem.

Face lighting up like a nuclear cherry, Hinata stuttered out, "I-I-I can't. You've s-seen that woman he's staying with."

Ah yes, Sakura thought. The woman. Personally Sakura thought there were tons of things wrong with the picture. The least not being why Naruto just treated her like she'd dropped off the face of the planet. Who would have thought that she would grow addicted to his loud, sometimes embarrassing displays of affection. Now another girl moves in and she was left with short hellos and grunts of acknowledgement.

What was that saying her mother always told her. You don't know what you got till it's gone.

"I don't think it's like that Hinata. Maybe she's just a friend."

Hinata leveled her with a look that said she doubted Sakura was as smart as she thought she was.

"Sakura-san she's living with him. Naruto doesn't have any family members."

Sakura knew that, but that didn't explain everything. Jumping to conclusions didn't help anybody. She had fallen into that gap as well earlier, grasping onto every shred of information she could find about the mysterious woman, but common sense prevailed. The rumors circulating around her teammate helped with the decision an immense amount.

Naruto a playboy. Get real.

It was then that the smell of smoke hit her nose. She could hear Hinata gasp and looking around Sakura could see what used to be Naruto walking with an obvious limp. She said used to be because he looked as if he'd been charbroiled from head to toe. His bright orange clothes were dark gray, not an inch of color to them and they were hanging off him in tatters. He looked like he just came walking out of a war zone.

Sakura stood up and was about to run to him in concern but stopped when she saw the pissed off expression on his face.

Hinata had no such reservations, walking toward him worriedly. "N-Naruto-kun, what happened?"

He didn't look up or stop his tension induced walk but he growled out an answer. "Nothing Hinata Everything's peachy."

Neither girl believed him.

"Naruuuuuuuuuutooooooo. You can't still be mad. We said we're sorry."

Hinata and Sakura looked behind Naruto and watched the approaching women in silent surprise and mounting horror. Sakura looked flabbergasted. These two had to be the women Ino was telling her about earlier in the day. They fit the description perfectly, which also happened to blow all her earlier statements regarding Naruto's life away.

Hinata was close to tears. Her dreams and future hopes taking a steep nosedive in front of her face. She didn't want to believe the rumors. Her Naruto wasn't like that, but the truth was in front of her.

"It wasn't my fault anyway. I thought you people weren't allowed to do underhanded crap like sneak attacks," Anko snarled at the Goddess.

Urd shrugged her shoulders, looking positively smug. "I don't know where you got that idea from. With my situation you should have expected it."

Anko smirked. "You paid for it anyway."

He stopped and spun around pointing an angry finger at the two women behind him. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO! YOU BLEW ME UP, I DON'T HAVE EYEBROWS ANYMORE AND YOU STILL WANT TO FIGHT!"

They both had the sense to look ashamed, even shooting death glares at one another.

Glaring at them both Naruto tried breathing through his nose because the normal way just wasn't working. If he'd been this angry before he couldn't remember. Not only had he been electrocuted, but he'd been cut, pounded, and almost bludgeoned in one afternoon all in a two hour span. Not only that, but there was a good piece of Konoha forest that would need re-rooting. Urd made mention that she could do it later but he didn't trust her to do it without turning the entire forest into wooden zombies or something else crazy.

How the fight got so out of hand in the first place was a question they couldn't answer. He was minding his own business, running up trees and trying to ignore them both when his tree became uprooted and he could feel several thousand volts shoot through his system. If not for the Kyuubi he wouldn't even be standing up.

He glanced around and could see a small crowd gathering. Not doubt they wanted to take a look at Urd, but for once he was too annoyed to bother thinking about it.

"Look, I'm sore and tired. Let's just go home and then I can shout all I want to."

Urd leaped across the short distance and hugged him, smashing his face into her considerable bosom. "Oh I'm sorry. I really am. Anko is so mean sometimes."

"You started the whole thing."

"HEY!." Naruto shouted, drawing their attention again before things got out of hand again. "I'm going home. Are you two coming or not? Don't you think you've caused enough damage for one day?"

"Yes. I got to rewind the tape and watch my soaps."

"Got nothing else to do, so okay."

The three came to a simple agreement, then walked off and turned a corner, headed to one of the more secluded districts. The entire time Sakura and Hinata watched them in a dazed amazement.

"I guess the two women thing wasn't a lie, huh?" Sakura thought out loud. She wouldn't have believed it until she'd seen it with her own eyes, but there was proof positive right there. But they seemed mighty violent for such beautiful women.

"Poor Naruto-kun. What have they done to you," Hinata cried out dismayed. "They have their claws in you don't they."

"Don't worry Hinata. We'll talk to him. Nobody deserves to be with a violent lover, or lovers, not even Naruto."

The visual stimulation was too much for Hinata's brain to handle and she fainted, still standing on her feet.

Sakura shook her head. "I see Hinata won't be any help so I need to do this alone."

That just meant more trouble for Naruto on the horizon.

* * *

Omake – Naruto-sama Is Angry

The two women were bound, arms and legs chained to the headboard of his massive bed. They were clothed in black leather, each one in a different design, leaving their naughty bits uncovered to his roving eyes.

"Do you know how humiliated I was today?"

It was a rhetorical question, but they answered nonetheless.

"We didn't mean to. It was an accident Naruto-sama."

Naruto scoffed at the notion. "Accident my ass!. I think you two were trying to get rid of me."

Morrigan, didn't share the Goddesses views. She didn't appreciate being treated like some concubine. When she was involved, it was always the other way around. "I am an Overlord, and you will release me this INSTANT." Her scream was accompanied by a dramatic clap of thunder outside.

Nodding his head, Naruto figured the woman would be hard to handle, being royalty and all.

Un-cuffing Urd, he let her stand. "Urd, it looks like she's going to need the works."

Urds eyes sparkled like diamonds. "Do you mean it? Really?"

Smiling Naruto slapped the platinum-haired Goddess on the ass and said, "Yeah. And make sure you bring me a case of those Red Bull energy drinks. This looks like an all-nighter."

* * *

AN: Once again props go out to JohnnyG. Who without his beta expertise this chapter would have made some of you literary artists hurl.

Anyone been keeping up with the latest chapters of the Naruto manga lately. Brings tears to my eyes. NARUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTO. YOU ROCK! In a strange way, I've come to appreciate Orochimaru for his villainous ways. To stare down Naruto when he goes berserk. That's ballsy Elephant ballsy lol.

I'm liking it a lot more for the story plotlines being introduced. Gene-splicing, clones, oh hell yea. I'm tempted to wait out the manga just to see were it's going. Makes a lot of the fanfics being put out not seem so AU after all..

The Omake. It weasn't pre-read or anything. Just a last minute add-on I did after reading Lord Raa's and Hawk's fics. I guess if people like it I made keep doing it. Anyone got ideas just send them in and I'll post the best, giving full credit to the reviewer of course.

Next chapter things pick up considerably and we have the makings of a plot. Yosh!


	5. Act II 01: Ah! The Rich Get Richer

**Ah! My Naruto**

By Gmusick

**Act II: Chapter 01 – Ah! The Rich Keep Getting Richer!**

**Or**

**Ah! You Rewrote Chapter Five!**

Disclaimer: Same as first chapter.

Morrigan sat, legs crossed in an elegant display of womanhood, barely taking notice of the action transpiring across the television screen. Always dressed in the most scintillating attire, she wore a midnight black bodysuit, a daring red stripe streaming down the collar bone to the wrist, and to finish the breathtaking display, she let the zipper rest halfway down her front, a sliver of cleavage darting out from the sides.

Her pale, alabaster toned skin emitted a soft glow, catching the morning light at just the right angle no matter which way she turned. The neon green hair, something that would give many people pause, shimmered and swayed in the sun's warming rays. And her eyes, they seemed bottomless, like they held the answers to any male desires, and question. She was the picture of perfection, a level of beauty only attained by…

"Would you stop that please? It gets annoying."

Morrigan cocked a perfectly groomed eyebrow; innocently fluttering her eyes as if she had no idea what Urd was referring to.

"You know what I'm talking about. It's too early to start with the glamour girl act."

Morrigan shook her head, somewhat mollified that the Goddess could put a name to something so inconsequential. "There are two things inherently wrong with your statement. Number one, you're one to talk with half the stuff you strut around in. And second, you have too much time on your hands if you're naming a particular look."

Urd looked down at her clothing, then looked at Morrigan's, then back to hers.

"I don't see it."

Releasing a sigh, Morrigan said, "Urd, an imitation Earth world schoolgirl outfit is not normal attire."

Urd begged to differ. A white blouse buttoned to the top, plaid colored skirt, thigh high black shocks and pair of loafers on her feet. To finish off the entire ensemble was a tan colored sport coat. "I think it's chic. Can't blame me if this world is so historic."

"You do make a valid point."

Urd thought over the circumstances of their conversation and came to one conclusive point. "We're just too fashion conscious for this place. You should see some of the looks I get around the market."

"I think it's more the female populations ire from their gaping significant others than anything else."

Urd tapped her index finger against her chin. "Maybe. Serves 'em right for all the hell they put Ruto through."

Slightly tilting her head to the side, Morrigan's eyes narrowed into slits. "Ruto is it? When did he get a nickname?"

"When you were manhandling him for that exam he had to take. Someone had to heal him."

"It was for his own well-being."

Urd held up a hand, signaling Morrigan to slow down. "I'm not arguing. Without your help I'm sure the results would have been far less favorable, but that still doesn't alleviate the fact that even the Kyuubi was having trouble healing him."

Morrigan said nothing in reply, silently dropping the subject with a slight nod. By chance, Urd's bringing up the Chuunin exam brought Morrigan back to her earlier thoughts, namely the confrontation with Orochimaru.

She had replayed the entire ordeal in her head since their altercation in the Forest of Death, and there was this vibe, this feeling that the man knew far more than he let on. And though she had not released enough power to bring notice to her true self, the unbridled aura of strength Orochimaru unconsciously radiated foretold of something far more sinister beneath his skin.

From information gathered from Anko's memories, and the comprehensive folder on him in the bingo book, the man was a monster given skin. His crimes were far ranging, guaranteeing his entry into Hild's arms when his death finally caught up to him. But depending on circumstances, that would be some time coming.

If Orochimaru was able to soul-rape victims, and jump bodies as implied, then he was essentially immortal.

Pulling herself from her internal monologue, Morrigan directed a question to the Goddess, who was now floating above the small table, her eyes glued to the television. "Did you get any information on Orochimaru?"

Urd never took her off the screen in front of her, replying in a bored, conversational tone.. "I did go and look into that. Funny thing is, the entire file under his name is locked down tight. No one in my little circle of friends can crack it."

"Hmm…"

"By the way," Urd started, "Why haven't you gone to check up on it yourself?"

"The less time I spend at home the better. As soon as I set foot on the main walkway you can be sure my caretakers will try everything in their power to keep me there. Besides, I have one of my vassals looking into it."

Urd had no idea how she had such a warped perception of royalty. "I would think being raised with silver spoon wouldn't bother you so much."

"If you had of grew up in your rightful place, then such inquiries wouldn't be necessary."

Urd's shoulders tensed, letting Morrigan know that her comment was a bit below the belt. It was one of the subjects she came to find Urd didn't take too kindly to discussing, and Morrigan didn't begrudge her the privacy of her own demons. But, the courtesy was a two way street. Morrigan's own problems stemmed from a multitude of situations that at this precise moment she held no sway over, and until she was able to bring the problems under control, then here she would be. Her presence in her home would do nothing but inflame the already fragile situation to further levels of unrest.

Urd bringing it up, no matter how lightly, was something she would not allow to go without reprimand.

"Someone is mighty catty this morning," came Urd's sarcastic response.

"I must admit, the times are providing a little strain. The village is in an uproar, and unless this woman is as accomplished as they make her out to be, then this village will not last long."

"…"

When Urd failed to provide commentary Morrigan continued. "And the appearance of this… Akatsuki- has drawn my interest. This world has always been in turmoil. War is continually wrought upon the lands generation after generation, but something concerning this turn of events has drawn my eye."

"I don't want to sound callous, but my concern is solely focused on Naruto. I've never been the 'saving the world' type. It's the reason why I'm still second class Goddess," Urd said with a slight shrug.

"Ah, that answers a lot of questions."

At that, Urd did turn around, frowning at the silent implications. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Morrigan picked up her almost forgotten tea, which was nearly cool now. Bringing it to her lips, she took a dainty sip, her upbringing ringing out from the small display. "Simply that with the chaos you bring on a daily basis, your ranking was never in question."

"You're one to talk, Miss I've-been-turned-down-so-I-send-death-threats. No wonder you can't get a date."

Morrigan kept her composure, but it was hard. Playing the life of Mitarashi Anko was… in a word difficult. Not because of her traumatic childhood, or betrayal, or any of the other numerous reasons the female's life was utter crap. It was because of Anko's personality.

When her soul still inhabited her body, Anko had been forbidden fruit in many male eyes. She was beautiful, catching the eye of almost any male she wanted, but because of past trauma the girl was a little more than some, make that any, males could handle. Morrigan chalked it up to the warped relationship Anko maintained with her mentor Orochimaru. It would be simple to say he twisted her.

Orphaned, she had nothing she could fall back on. His, Orochimaru's, treatment of her was what she built the foundation of her personality on. No matter how perverse or demented the task, she set out to accomplish whatever he wanted her to do. The young girl was barely over the age of sixteen before the snake sannin began using her for his own pleasure.

Being a Succubus, replaying the images from Anko's memory neither repulsed nor sickened her. In all honesty, she'd done that and much more to some of her victims. It was who she was, sugar-coating it wouldn't hide her nature.

So the male population stayed away, leaving Anko to resort to ulterior means in order to release her daily frustration. That was the situation Morrigan by chance happened unto, and despite her constant attempts to reverse the damage done, it did little good. Males were still scared shitless around her. Now, instead of fighting against the moving tide, Morrigan decided to play the hand she was dealt, thus the complete one-eighty personality shifts sometimes. It was extremely cathartic in its own little way.

"You know, I think he's going to be pissed about the changes."

Morrigan looked around the room, cataloging the small but definitive differences. "I think it looks more distinctive."

"Somehow, I don't think Ruto is going to agree."

"Wait. You were all for it before now. What made you change your mind?"

This was the second time Urd had to turn away from the Mazinger Z special she was watching. "Morrigan. We turned his room into an indoor bathhouse. You don't think he's going to be a little pissed?"

"No," Morrigan shook her head. "I think he's going to be furious."

"And that doesn't bother you at all?"

"No, should it? He's been angry with me for far lesser things."

Knowing Naruto's matchstick personality, Urd believed her.

"We can act like it's a gift. The both of us could teach him a new move, something dealing with magic, and tell him it's an added present."

"I highly doubt he would welcome it with open arms," Morrigan deadpanned. "If it doesn't do wanton destruction, or teaches him how to dole out more pain, he won't be too receptive."

"Typical male," Urd chuckled.

Since Naruto left with the second master of all perverts, the fiend Happosai trumping him by miles, life around the Naruto home held far less of the frantic energy the blonde brought from his presence alone. Urd, without any targets, kept her potions and antidotes up on the shelf in her room. Morrigan, without the blonde punching bag, spent most of her days reclining, making idle conversation with the only other celestial in the vicinity.

Neither preferred extending themselves to any degree with any kind of labor. Continuing to play the role of Anko's life was more of a hobby for Morrigan. Taking missions provided means for her to escape the confines of the village walls, gave her the opportunity to truly work her craft away from the prying eyes. Naruto's ability to escalate small situations into brush fires alleviated a good amount of her wanderlust.

Sometimes Morrigan wondered if his dual nature, the human and demon aspects of him, created a blend of creature her essence salivated to feed off of.

But with him gone, their attention was forced to other subjects to occupy the time.

_Tap, tap, tap._

"Could you get the door?"

Morrigan, seeing how Urd refused to move from her spot in front of the television, rolled her eyes.

"You might want to sit down normally. No telling who it is this early."

Urd complied while slowly floating down into the sofa-chair. "Don't matter. Only the jealous village girls, desperate males, and perverts show up."

"You pretty much have the whole village pegged."

"Actually," Urd paused, looking at the nearest clock. "I think that's Sakura-chan."

"…"

"You want to guess why I invited her?" Urd asked, smiling in secret delight.

"No need," Morrigan said, randomly waving her hand through the air. "I already know the girl's possessed. And by something quite powerful I believe."

* * *

After a handful of months, life with Urd was just as exciting and migraine inducing as the first. That may have sounded like a grand announcement, but it was anything but that.

The potions, the fights, the arguments, everyday there was some new mini crisis he had to overcome; and it was slowly changing him. He didn't want to sound absurd about it, but it was true in his eyes. He preferred kunai, ambushes, and death over potions, magic spells, and burnt toast. A hard choice indeed, but he would make it in a second.

And he did. That was why he was following the perverted Sannin through another town, looking for some old lady friend of his.

Well… the training Urd managed to secure him was an added plus. Never forget the training.

Giving a mental sigh, Naruto trudged after his new sensei and wondered when he was going to get a break. He wasn't one to normally bitch and complain, but things had slowly changed from surprisingly uncommon occurrences, to the daily bizarre event. His home was becoming a nest egg of trouble.

Urd, bless her heart, tried to do good on so many things. There was the time she spiked Sasuke's juice one morning to try and lighten his mood. Disaster had struck when Sasuke made a complete one-eighty in personality. He readily answered Sakura's request for a date, driving the poor girl into a rambling mess of sated nerves. Had that been all, then the situation would not have been so bad, but Sasuke hadn't stopped there. Ino, Aoi, Kyoko Miki, the list went on forever. Naruto remembered one particular event in vivid clarity….

**Flashback**

_Sasuke stood leaning against a tree post. His demeanor was too laid back, too different. It was making the small group wary. Sasuke never hung around anybody. Naruto knew why he was so different, but he was hoping Urd was doing something to fix the problem. Things were getting out of hand._

_If she didn't hurry, they would be royally screwed._

"_Shino, your mom is hot."_

_Nobody moved, unsure of who had the gall to utter the phrase. They need not have bothered. Sasuke appeared totally relaxed, as if he complimented women older than him all the time._

"…_What?" Shino asked in stunned disbelief._

"_When we get married, could you call me 'daddy?'"_

_The entire park went silent, and Naruto, Kiba, and Shikamaru made a grab for Shino before he could put Sasuke in the ICU for life. _

"_Stay away from my mother!" Shino roared, infuriated. _

**End Flashback**

The whole episode had left Naruto weary and tired, giving him one more reason to dislike the Uchiha, even if it wasn't his fault. Though, the aftermath had been worth it. Sasuke had a village full of frothing women and angry boyfriends after him, and he had no clue to why they wanted to pull him limb from limb since he couldn't remember a single moment of the entire incident. And Sakura, her view of the brooding bastard took a steep nosedive that afternoon. It was the happiest day of Naruto's life.

He didn't get to enjoy it for long. Similar episodes were becoming the norm.

There was the Nympho House Faerie incident, when Urd didn't feel like cleaning the house and tried summoning faeries to clean the place. Surprise, surprise, she got it wrong. The entire day they hunted down perverted faeries that seemed hell-bent on disappearing and feeling up every woman in Konoha.

Then there was the time he was teleported to some part of Hell itself, coming face-to-face with some loon named Laharl. He looked about the same age, and Naruto could admit he was powerful, scary powerful, but he seemed just as crazy as the two females that hung around him all the time. Naruto had been more than glad to leave the place; managing to leave without promising the eternally cheery Goddess, Flonne, he would return.

Added to the chaos was his scarily unrepentant, mentally scarring sensei Anko. If there was a woman on the face of the planet that drove Naruto to the heights of fear, she did at the drop of a hat, Naruto would have doubted they were human. Sometimes he had to question himself if the woman was human herself.

In the beginning things were okay. Training with Anko had been fun. She was good at it, and with Kakashi-sensei barely teaching him anything important, Naruto ate up her attention like a starving man presented a feast. She never taught him anything awe-inspiring. A fire jutsu here, water jutsu there; it was a slow process getting her to open up her bag of tricks as he pleaded for more information.

Be careful what you wish for.

When the Chuunin exam came around, Anko, his loveable, always smiling sensei, became a monster.

His chakra control was better, but it still wasn't as good as it could be. That was a problem. Anko-sensei's remedy? Tossing him in a river to teach him how to stand on the waves, while shooting various forms of fire jutsu at him. He mouthed off at her once for the harsh treatment. His punishment was to be tossed off the side of a mountain and making him run up the side.

His hand-to-hand skills were abysmal. She decided to fix that problem by teaching him several obscure forms of taijutsu she knew. The regular way was not good enough, not enough first-hand experience she said. His body became her drawing board to show him what to do.

Ninja's needed to be aware of all things around them. Even at peace, their ability to see beneath the underneath should never leave them. Anko taught that lesson by ambushing him whenever and wherever she felt like it. His only moments of reprieve were Kakashi-sensei's meetings, and when she had to go actually work for once. For weeks he acted like a cornered animal, making his teammates fear for his mental well-being. They hadn't believed him when he told them what was going on. It took him being attacked on his way to Ichiraku for them to understand. After that they quit walking with him period.

Some teammates they made.

Brutal, sadistic, frightening. All of those could be used to describe the nightmare he went through. Did he learn anything? Yes.

But that wasn't the point.

He had such a crazed look in his eyes one time that some villagers actually pitied him. It was to the point that Naruto woke up and expected his day to go downhill as soon as he stepped foot out of his room.

Taking a mentally compelled deep breath, Naruto stopped his internal rant. Highlighting only the bad wasn't right. If he was truthful to himself, and he regularly was, he would readily admit he could not have imagined what his life would have been like if neither woman was in it. They were a bedrock for him, and though his group of friends expanded to include even someone like Neji, he would not forget the first ones.

After the fight with Zabuza and Haku he returned home glum, contemplating if being a ninja was the dream job he thought it was. Anko pulled him aside and told him in no uncertain terms what it meant to be a shinobi, what it meant when you became someone capable of using power and making choices with that power. After the unexpected surprise of finding out Gaara carried a curse just like him; Urd talked to him. Told him what the Bijuu were and how they, Gaara and others like himself, were making the world a better place by keeping them sealed away, unable to lay waste to the world. Anko preparing him for the exam, picking up his training to even tougher levels when he told her Kakashi-sensei was training Sasuke solely. Urd letting him meet her two sisters, taking a license suspension for trying to smuggle them in without permission just for his sake.

A dozen other little moments sprinkled out among months, all of them meaning just as much as the next. It was why he put up with so much. In his mind, the good far outweighed the bad.

At least it was better than this little side trip he was making with the kings of all perverts. Hard to believe someone could beat out Kakashi in that regard, but there was someone like that actually breathing.

"Oi, you paying attention?"

He cut his musings and frowned at the white haired man. "Yeah, yeah. Can't you teach me anything the last few miles before we hit the village?"

Jiraiya sighed into his hand, muttering under his breath. Giving the blonde an annoyed glower he said, "I just told you. If you quit daydreaming then you could remember."

"I wouldn't be daydreaming if you weren't always talking about perverted crap."

"What do you know? You're too young anyway for someone like Urd-chan." Jiraiya shook his head in mock despair. "Don't know what she sees in a shrimp like you."

Naruto glowered. "Look here ero-sennin. The deal was one date with Urd. You teach me a couple techniques. Don't back out the deal, or she'll put you back in the hospital."

Naruto looked at the man, trying to gauge if he was really one of the legendary three. "She really got you good with that lighting bolt, huh? You shouldn't have been peeking in our house. We've had trouble with perverts like you before"

"Shut up brat."

Naruto had to admit, his first meeting with the Toad Sannin left a lot to be desired. The older man had caught him and Urd walking toward home and immediately intercepted the two of them. Naruto had unwillingly been subjected to three minutes of the worst pick-up lines in the history of man. If not for Anko calling the old geezer out, Naruto would have thought he was just another loser out for a date.

Had he been a Jounin, Naruto would not have blinked twice, simply turned home and went about his business. But a Sannin, that was a different story entirely.

It had taken a lot of cajoling to get Urd to even speak to the gigantic pervert, but she did it with the understanding that Jiraiya help train him. It was similar to Kakashi in way. Jiraiya disappeared and reappeared at his own ease, driving Naruto crazy, but Urd did not budge.

After the Hokage's death Jiraiya thought it was a perfect time to finish up his part of the deal, taking him along to find the sannin Tsunade. And while he learned an incredible move, the entire ordeal with Orochimaru and Kabuto had been nothing but a pain in the ass. That wasn't mentioning the attitude Tsunade had given him when they first met.

"Is it really so bad Naruto?" Tsunade asked, more than a little curious.

Despite her best wishes, she found herself growing more and more interested in the blonde. During their short time together he displayed a dramatic array of personality traits that interested the doctor in her. He would jump from being playful, to angry, to serious in the blink of an eye. Throwing off her most fervent attempts to pin his personality down and label him. And had that been all maybe she would have been able to silently pick him apart from a distance without feeling any slight flickers of affection.

But it wasn't. There was something about him that pulled her from the angry malaise of her thoughts, forcing her to view the world through his eyes. No matter how she put him down or ridiculed him in the beginning, he never once allowed her opinions to stop him from accomplishing his goal.

Learning the Rasengan, protecting her from Kabuto, coming back to life when she was sure he was dead to the world. He hurdled obstacles that would fell people twice his age.

All of this, and she hadn't even started on the overheard conversations about his life back in the village of Konoha.

"Not really. It's a little better. People quit hitting on her when she fried this one guy for being too grabby."

Tsunade shook her head. "How did you come to stay with this woman anyway? I'm sure there have been problems with such an arrangement."

Naruto snorted, thinking about how he wondered the same thing at one time. "Not really. There are a lot of rumors always going around about one thing or another, but people hate me too much to be bothered anyway, so no one says anything. Urd was having problems at one point with people trying to get her to move out. Now that she's been staying with me for awhile, some people are thinking I corrupted her or something."

At that, the conversation suddenly dissolved into silence, even Shizune's eternally optimistic view took a turn downward. Naruto's words were a stark reminder of who he was and the life he had led up till now, making Tsunade give him another cursory glance.

He looked okay, as if he'd simply been talking about the weather. But anyone with a trained eye could see the strain in his shoulders, the way his steps suddenly picked up speed, or how he used his hair to shield the dull look in his eyes.

It was a side of him she hadn't seen yet.

"You didn't answer my first question," Tsunade said when it seemed he was not going to continue talking.

"Uh…hmmm… What question is that?" Naruto asked, trying to feign ignorance. He really did not want to get into that conversation. Mainly because he forgot the lie Urd gave Jiraiya to explain their particular situation anyway.

Tsunade did not let him slide, eyeing the back of his head hard enough for him to feel the sensation. "We still have a few more hours till we arrive. I can wait till you get your answer together."

'_Well… damn. This is bad.'

* * *

_

Urd shuffled through the aisles of clothing, trying and failing to find something that caught her eye. She had been at it for nearly two hours, and nothing she could see appealed to her particular tastes.

The problem in her eyes was that this place lacked the fashion sense that existed on Earth; even Heaven had a better selection. Being stuck in a pseudo futuristic feudal era, everything was done in a sad imitation to look daring, and although she'd seen some exceptions, they were just that.

Take for example the woman behind her. From the vest and headband she wore, Urd took it to mean she was a career woman. That wasn't anything to scoff at. Urd believed in women being capable of doing anything their male halves could do. The problem came in when you looked at her attire.

The only word Urd could think of was bland. She didn't stand out at all. What was the use of being a ninja if nobody in your own village recognized you or noticed how cool you were?

"Dear god. I'm starting to sound like Naruto now," moaned the disheartened Goddess.

"Then I take it you must be Urd?"

Urd blinked, and turned around, finding a raven-haired woman standing before her with the most interesting natural eye color she had seen in a long time.

"Yeah that's me."

Smiling, the woman extended a hand in greeting. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Yuuhi Kurenai."

Urd had no clue who this woman was, but knew to display some form of common courtesy. "It's nice to meet you too. Shopping?"

Kurenai gave a light smile, nodding her head in answer. "Yeah, I got a nice little bonus today. Thought I would spend a little on myself for once."

Just now noticing the Konoha symbol adorned across her forehead, Urd blinked at the woman's attire. _'Now that is how you make a statement. Though I would lay off on some of the robes.'_

Turning back to the rack of clothing, Urd asked, "So what do you do?"

"I'm a teacher. I teach a three person genin team."

Urd looked up, "Like that bum Kakashi?"

"…" Kurenai didn't know how to reply to that.

"He's damn near as bad as that perverted Jiraiya," Urd huffed, remembering past episodes where she had to lay the law down concerning the two.

Kurenai stood rooted to her feet. In her entire lifetime she never once heard anyone talk about one of Konoha's most prized shinobi so flippantly. She could see no Konoha protector adorning the woman so that meant she wasn't a ninja. But even villagers gave proper respect to the caste set about.

"You sound very formal with both of them."

Still surveying the clothing, Urd picked up this weird looking blouse she figured an eight-armed woman would be better off wearing. "I should be. Kakashi is Naruto's off again, on again teacher. And I had to promise Jiraiya a date before he would consider teaching Naruto. That was after I caught him trying to sneak into our home and take pictures."

'_Seems like some of those rumors actually held a kernel of truth.'_ Said rumors regarded the house Uzumaki Naruto lived in, one of the more secluded areas of the village. People, both villagers and shinobi called it several different names. Some labeled it a madhouse, home to the Kyuubi and all his vicious, blood-loving underlings. Then there were the ones who called it a love shack, because of the varying amount of older women that seemed to frequent the home.

Kurenai believed none of it, or at least she didn't initially. As a genjutsu specialist she made it a priority to always focus on the facts. True, word was Naruto's home got demolished, put on fire, and always had some sort of excitement going on, but that was simply normal… at least she thought so.

Looking at the clock on the wall, Urd narrowed her eyes, putting down the one-hundred and thirtieth piece of clothing she had looked at this afternoon. "Damn it. I didn't know it was this late. The kid is going to kill me."

Blinking at the outburst, Kurenai spurned forward by the traitorous habit of always trying to display good will asked, "Is something wrong?"

"You could say that. We decided that his place needed a change for the spring."

"You changed his home around? Did he like it?" Kurenai asked.

"You see," Urd began, taking a deep breath, "he isn't here. He's been gone the past week."

What was fast becoming a common occurrence Kurenai failed to put together a coherent sentence in reply.

Urd frowned at the dazed expression on Kurenai's face. "What? You think I'm in the wrong?"

"Well…"

"It's that damn Anko's fault. It was her idea in the first place," Urd growled.

Kurenai knew who Anko was; she didn't think there was anybody in the entire shinobi population who didn't know who the psychotic kunoichi was, and if this woman was her friend, then maybe Kurenai needed to leave and find another store as soon as possible. "Surely you can find your friend and get her to help you."

"Unfortunately I can't. I heard she suddenly requested and took a courier mission to that Hidden Sand village."

"That's kind of harsh." Kurenai said, not meaning to speak her thought out loud.

Urd looked morose, making Kurenai feel slightly sorry for the woman. True, she brought a lot of the coming problem on herself, but as hard as she was taking it, it let Kurenai know that the platinum haired woman truly felt sorry for what she did. And she was about to volunteer her help to mediate the situation when Urd suddenly seemed to perk up.

"Bad move Anko, bad move. Mwua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Urd cackled gleefully, scaring a good number of people who began to inch back.

Kurenai tried telling the Goddess about the effect she was having on the shopping populace. "Umm…."

"I'll just tell Naruto everything that happened and blame it on her. She's not here to defend herself, and this'll serve as punishment for running off on me."

Kurenai's earlier thoughts of the woman feeling responsible for the damage died a quick and painful death.

Grabbing Kurenai's hands, Urd used the most powerful justsu/magic known to mankind. The dreaded puppy eyes. Taught to her by the masters themselves, Konohamaru and his friends. "Please, please come with me. I don't think I'll be able to handle him alone."

Kurenai looked at the woman in disbelief. "Naruto can not seriously be that big of a problem. He's only twelve years old."

"True, he may be a big softie but there are some things you don't mess with. His ramen and his bed are two of them."

"Then why did you do it in the first place?" Kurenai asked after a moment of silence.

Urd blinked, easily answering the question. "Oh, that's easy. We knew he wouldn't let us do it if he was here."

"But now you think you're in trouble?"

Urd seemed pleased Kurenai finally put everything together. Deciding that wasting anymore time would bring dire consequences, Urd grabbed Kurenai by the wrist, showing a tremendous amount of strength by easily dragging the reluctant kunoichi. "Come on. We have to get everything together."

"But I never agreed to help?"

Sadly, her words fell on deaf ears.

* * *

Naruto managed to keep Tsunade from finding out too much about his lifestyle, but he knew from the calculating gaze she continued to level on him that he really had not helped his overall chances of getting her to lay off. Add Jiraiya's startlingly unrealistic comments about his living arrangements and the questions just kept on coming. A small part of him wondered why the hell the old crone was so interested in his life, but chalked it up to her still being a bit emotional from the last battle. However, they were nearing the massive gate that allowed entrance to Konoha and Naruto almost shed tears at the sight. He was almost home free.

Speeding his slow trot into a full on power walk, Naruto was several feet from the gates when he could see Mitarashi Anko reclining against one of the guard posts, making idle chatter to an apprehensive chuunin guard.

"…Anko-sensei?"

She looked at him, a wide toothy grin spreading across her face. Quickly striding toward him, she bent down and gave him a bone-crushing hug. "Hey squirt. How'd your trip go?"

Naruto tried to get his brain to start functioning properly again. A hard feat when Anko was pressed up against him like a second skin. "Okay. I ran into that bastard sensei of yours."

Anko cocked an eyebrow, "Oh really."

"Yeah, and I learned this new super cool move I wanna show you, soon as I get home" Naruto said, ecstatic.

"You can show me later, but I got…"

The sound of someone clearing their throat stopped the two-person conversation, and Anko looked up into the faces of three people with widely varying expression on their faces.

Jiraiya was giving off that lecherous grin of his, while Tsunade looked interested in the interaction between Naruto and the, to her, unknown woman. Shizune eyed the woman's almost scandalous attire with wide eyes and asked, "Naruto-kun, who is your friend."

"This is Anko-san. She helps teach me since Kakashi-sensei is always busy with that Sasuke bastard." Pointing to each person in turn, he introduced Anko to the three travelers behind him. "You already know ero-sannin, the lady with the pig in Shizune-neechan, and the old lady is Tsunade-baachan."

Jiraiya reached out and slugged Naruto in the back of the head, Shizune gave a smile and cheery wave, one Anko returned in kind, but when her eyes landed on Tsunade, Anko gave a scrutinizing look, trying to discern the strange vibe she was getting from the woman.

'_Something is not right with her.'_

Tsunade thought nothing of the probing look, raising an eyebrow in question. "Is there a problem?"

Anko shook her head before stopping her search, easily forgetting this woman was one of Konoha's most powerful ninja's ever. "Sorry, just been long day."

Tsunade said nothing, delivering a tight nod.

Naruto's foul-mouthed cursing drew Anko's attention, which also helped her remember the reason she was out in front of the village in the first place. "Naruto-kun, I came out here to prepare you for trouble before you got home."

Disengaging from trying to manhandle Jiraiya, Naruto's facial expression was laced with worry. "What's wrong? Is Urd okay? No one did anything to you did they?"

His worry for her touched her black heart somewhat, but the thought of Urd getting the brunt of the verbal assault easily pushed her on. "No, nothing like that." Kneeling down, Anko cupped her hands over Naruto's ear and started whispering whatever she needed to say. And the longer she talked, the redder Naruto's face became till he calmly stepped away from her and yelled one name at the top of his lungs.

"**URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD**!"

Everyone in the village who had the unlucky fortune to run into Naruto the past few months recognized the savage yell, and instead of the hate that regularly came to them, they began boarding up their homes and preparing for the worst. A reasonable action when you considered the chaos that surrounded Naruto on an almost daily basis.

* * *

Omake – A Little Girl Talk

Sakura stepped into the nicely furnished home, making sure to present the perfect picture of a blossoming young lady. As beautiful as this woman was, Sakura was having a hard time stopping herself from sinking into depression.

"You said you had something important to talk to me about Urd-san?" Sakura asked politely.

Urd nodded, "Yeah I did. I have some questions I need answered and you can help a lot."

Smiling, Sakura was directed to take a seat and walked toward the nearest couch. Sitting down, her butt slammed into something, it brought a blush to her face because it was jutting into her backside at an embarrassing angle. Reaching down to see what it was, Sakura eyes were wide enough to transverse her considerable forehead and touch her hairline.

"Is this… is this... is this…?"

Urd looked at the objects in Sakura's hand. "Oh sorry about that. Naruto's real careless about putting up the toys."

In her hands was a ball gag and handcuffs. Sakura's brain failed to compute anything else, even Inner Sakura for once in her lifetime had nothing to say, mostly because she was knocked out cold, a sliver of drool pooling around her face.

"Don't look so shocked," Urd said, "We manage to keep him sated enough so he won't go after any of you. I don't think you all could handle him anyway, the kid could go all day if we let him."

She could see Sakura's eyes roll into the back of her head, and Urd wasn't quick enough to stop Sakura's forehead from making a thunderous thud, shattering the wooden coffee table into pieces.

Urd released a sigh, "Morrigan is going to kill me. That table cost a fortune."

* * *

AN: Thanks go to JohnnyG for proofing this chapter. Once again, also got to thank Michael68 for the Sasuke bit in the beginning. He keeps giving me these hilarious skits I can work with. Most of them you'll see as omake's because there is no way I could fit them in the story, but they're too funny to leave alone.

On the second note, sorry for the rewrite but as you can see I've gone a different route from before. Changing Tsunade back to normal, or as normal as I'm going to allow her to be, was to add some variety. A Demoness and one Goddess is pretty even as it could get, so I decided not to fool around with that. I don't want to make this too cliché so I'm working on a few changes. Don't get it twisted, Tsunade still has a HUGE part, so don't fret. The world of Ah! My Goddess is full of other beings besides Gods and Demons, which gives me a lot of extra wiggle room to work with.

The little scene with Sakura was left very vague for a reason. I've always wanted an explanation for why the hell Inner Sakura was there, but of course I never got one, and now she's gone in the current manga. You might think I'm pulling this stuff out the top of my head, but I've wanted to work with a Sakura/Inner Sakura fic along the lines of Haruka no Go forever, and this gives me the perfect opportunity. I stand by my decision with the no rookie 9 thing. So don't look beyond that too much, but she will have a role, we'll see where it evolves in the future. Who knows what'll happen.

And yes, I am throwing Kurenai into Naruto's worldly orbit. Surprisingly, unless I have a HUGE change of in my mindset, her path is pretty normal compared to everyone else, if I can even use that to describe any of the regulars in this.


	6. Act II 02: Ah! The New Queens

**Ah! My Naruto**

By Gmusick

**Act II: Chapter 02 – Ah! The New Queens on the Block**

Disclaimer: Don't own Ah! My Goddess or Naruto. Wish I did, but Santa wouldn't pick up his phone.

Yuuhi Kurenai was always a student first. She soaked in knowledge from any source she could, vehement about self-improvement. It was one of her pet peeves. Everyday she vowed to learn something new and put it to use in her daily life. It did not matter whether it was a jutsu or a new way to starch her clothing, nothing was left in her pursuit of betterment.

Yesterday's lesson was not to let random strangers pull you into their conflicts. It was also a first-person point of view in the life of Uzumaki Naruto and his group of friends. And she had seen enough to know that hanging around his small circle would complicate her life beyond anything she could handle.

So after dismissing her team for the afternoon, why was she sitting in the living room, drinking tea, and watching this humongous contraption they called their television?. Kurenai hadn't known they even made sizes this large.

"Got anything in particular you want to watch?"

Kurenai shook her head, glancing at the platinum haired female who was lounging on the couch spread eagle. "Not really. My schedule doesn't allow me a lot of time to watch."

"Oh, bummer," Urd deadpanned.

The two of them melted into a companionable and easy silence. A stark contrast to what took place yesterday, and though she continued to tell herself not to butt into somebody else's business, she found herself asking one of the questions that had been on her mind almost all morning.

"Is it always this quiet? I mean… after yesterday I never imagined this place so peaceful."

Urd never turned around, but answered Kurenai's question. "You mean the hot tub thing? That stuff happens all the time. You just let Naruto rant and rave for a couple of hours and everything will go back to normal. About it being quiet? It's only like this when Ruto is doing that ninja stuff you all do?"

Kurenai latched onto a conversation topic. "So you aren't a ninja?"

Urd blinked, looking as if Kurenai had asked her to blow bubbles out her nose or something else equally ridiculous. "Me? A ninja? I'm afraid I would never work out in that occupation."

"Why?" Kurenai asked.

"Because I'm too damn lazy."

"How do you afford living in such a nice home then," Kurenai asked, perplexed. The place was not huge by any stretch of the imagination, but it was larger than a greater lot of homes in Konoha. In a village walled in and filled with ninja, space was needed for a multitude of things: places for training, enough space for the villagers to carry out their business comfortably, a buffer area so attacks would take just that much longer to hit the village. Those were just a few of the reasons.

But Naruto. His home was two stories, had a considerable sized backyard, and because of the antics of Urd and Anko there was now a bathhouse where his room was supposed to be. Nice house, women who honestly cared about his welfare, and being trained by one of Konoha's prized sannin.

Naruto was living the shinobi dream and he had no idea.

"Whatever you think I paid for it, it's much less than that," Urd said.

In her mind Kurenai rolled off a set of numbers, placing them against friends and associates who owned places a little similar. "But how?" With Naruto being a genin, surely he didn't pay for it."

"Tell me, the two times you came over, have you noticed anything particular about the neighborhood?"

Kurenai thought it over, trying to scrape together something to answer the question. "It's quiet, maybe a little too quiet, but that's it."

"This area is where the Kyuubi ended up doing the most damage. Property is dirt cheap around here, but no one wants it because they think the place is cursed and whatnot. The old property owner wanted to get rid of the place so I bought it."

Kurenai never questioned Urd's knowledge of the Kyuubi, she looked old enough to have witnessed the attack firsthand.

"I never knew that. If I had known I would have moved out here ages ago. It just seems like such a waste of land," Kurenai said, shaking her head.

"Mhee, I could care less. Just means more room for Ruto to do what he wants to do."

Kurenai quietly watched Urd, recalling her actions and words from yesterday before saying out loud, "You really care about him don't you?"

"Who?" Urd asked.

"Naruto."

The answer came easy enough to the Goddess. "Of course. In my opinion he deserves it and a lot more for not slaughtering people left and right after the life he's lived."

Even with the kind words spoken, Urd's last comments caused an uneasy flip-flop in Kurenai's gut. "You don't really believe that do you?"

"Unfortunately I do. Call it treason or whatever you want, but I don't think treating the very person who's housing an unstoppable ss-ranked demon, made entirely of chakra, like crap is the best way to say thanks."

"SS-ranked demon," Kurenai mumbled uncertainly. "That is a strange way of labeling it, but I see your point. Unfortunately not everyone sees it the same way."

"Yeah I know," Urd grumbled. "Differences make the world go round and all that boohoo."

Urd smiled when she heard the sound of giggling behind her. Yesterday she grabbed the woman in her haste to get someone to come with her when Naruto went haywire. And Kurenai, a fitting name if she thought so, had managed an admirable job of playing peacekeeper. Soothing Naruto's ruffled feathers when his temper would skyrocket out of control, and getting Anko to stop escalating the mayhem even further..

For the first several hours Kurenai seemed uptight. Barely speaking, and keeping a watch on the three of them as if she were a spy gathering information. Urd hadn't liked it, and kept Kurenai in almost every conversation topic. It was a crazy thing to do, not counting the fact that Kurenai knew exactly what she was trying to do, but after the evening was over it seemed like she accomplished her goal.

What she had not anticipated were the extra guests that happened to come over last night. That perverted Jiraiya was expected, and even if she didn't want to admit it, a promise is a promise. He would get his one date, but only when she was good and ready. The young woman Shizune seemed nice enough. She treated Naruto like she cared, something that shot her up several notches on Urd's list, and helped save his friends. Talking to her the other night, Urd felt like the woman was the nicest person she'd come around in years, just falling behind her sister.

Tsunade, now that was a different situation entirely. Oh Urd could tell by the way she acted, and how she talked to Naruto, that she cared about him. With the expensive looking necklace Naruto now wore around his neck; that was all too easy to see. What concerned Urd was the weird aura the woman gave off. The entire time Naruto introduced them, Urd had tried to probe the woman but would continually come up blank. She had gotten so frustrated that Urd just gave up, putting the problem off till a later time.

"Now that I think about it, isn't that girl Hinata in your team? How is she?"

A little surprised at the conversation topic, Kurenai said, "Well… personality wise she has improved somewhat. When she was first assigned as my student she was so reclusive she hardly said two sentences our entire practice. But with Kiba and Shino as teammates she's forced into taking part a lot of times, and that is a good thing." Cocking her head to the side, Kurenai queried, "Do you mind my asking why you asked?"

"She and several other girls got it into their head that I was screwing over Naruto, or he was taking advantage of me."

Kurenai blinked, utterly astonished. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Afraid not. There was this whole week of awkward moments where I would see at least one of them around me at all times."

"I take it that Hinata was one of those girls," Kurenai asked with a wide smile.

"Yeah. It was sweet in its own way, but I think Naruto was getting annoyed."

"That's strange behavior from a male of any age. I would think he'd be excited with all the attention."

Urd shook her head. "No. He keeps blaming me and Anko for corrupting him beyond repair."

"…" Kurenai didn't know how to take that, but her instant response was a sure sign to understand the route her mind went down. "Urd, I wouldn't have believed you capable of such a thing, but I guess I was wrong. You're an animal."

"Huh?"

"I've heard of starting early, how some people secure remarkable young children by taking them while they're young but this is preposterous," Kurenai managed to growl out, livid. "Naruto-kun with his great personality, and surprising intellect should have a normal future where he could date girls his own age."

As Kurenai's glare began to approach sub-artic levels, Urd wondered what she said to get the woman so riled up in the first place. Turning toward the kunoichi with a look of incomprehension Urd asked, "What are you so angry about?"

"Kurenai stood up, shoulders straight and stiff, face pinched into a frown, and her right hand was pointing directly between Urd's eyeballs. "You are what's wrong. You don't even see how wrong this is."

"Would you stop shouting and tell me what the hell you are talking about?" Urd asked, now getting annoyed at the woman's antics.

"I'm talking about you and that maniac Anko corrupting Naruto."

The pieces of the puzzle finally slid into place for the Goddess, and strangely, there was a weird tick in her eyebrow that would not stop pulsing. "That was not what I meant. Naruto was referring to all the trouble he keeps getting in by constantly being around us."

…

…

Kurenai could only let out a halfhearted, "Oh!"

A small smile played across Urd's lips as she turned back to the television. The right thing to do here would be to reassure her new friend that everything was okay, and she appreciated her worrying over Naruto, but Urd rarely did the right thing. Being half-demon allowed her to take some liberties.

"Kurenai, I'll be sure to let Anko know how much you think of her," Urd said with a nasty grin on her face.

The sight of Kurenai turning whiter than her clothing was too much to pass up, and Urd started laughing hard enough to tear.

"You're evil Urd," Kurenai mumbled, thinking of the chances of her running into the female jounin this afternoon.

"Not evil," Urd pointed out. "I'm simply open-minded."

* * *

It was barely two days and Tsunade was beginning to regret taking up this position. Not only was there a ton of work to be done, but the pay was ridiculously feeble compared to the work she did, and added to all that was having to deal with the old crones.

Tsunade left Konoha because of a lot of reasons, many of them too painful to begin looking over without going into a mind-numbing depression, but if things continued to be as hectic as they had been for the short time she had been here, then no matter how much Jiraiya protested, she would drag his ass back here and plant it directly in the very seat she was sitting in.

Releasing a heavy sigh, Tsunade slowly brought her mounting agitation back to normal levels and looked around her new office. There were still a few mementos from her former sensei. A picture here, a small sheaf of paper he forgot to file, the entire room looked like not one person set foot inside since his death.

It was almost funny, in a very sad way, but she did not feel the consuming ache she had experienced with her brother Nawaki and lover Dan; in truth the news of his death failed to do anything more than drive her earlier belief that being Hokage was for extreme masochists.

Maybe it was because there was little to nothing left for her to lose. She had no relatives or family to speak of, Shizune being the closest thing she could describe as such. Her family line, always small in numbers, were left to Nawaki and herself. Because her uncle, the second Hokage didn't have any children of his own the responsibility to carry on the line was left to Nawaki and herself. But her brother was dead, and she had no children to speak of and couldn't see any in the near future, her age being a major factor.

Those were simply sparkling prospects for the future.

With a future that bleak, one more person leaving her for the otherworld or wherever people go when they die failed to conjure up the proper emotional response.

But maybe… maybe there was a small change taking place in her.

She remembered back to the fight with Orochimaru, how Naruto laid prone before her, his heart failing him at an alarming rate. There had been emotion there, one she had not felt in so long she'd forgotten the name of it. But sitting here, pealing away at the memory, she could name the single emotion that stood out from everything. Fear, an unbridled terror that shook her to the core.

Why him though? What was it about him that made her reach out to him like she did? In her travels there were people who came from situations almost as severe as Naruto's. Granted his carrying the Kyuubi made his problems a bit unique, but their world was not an easy place to live and people were trampled over in masses and no one batted an eye or lifted a finger to help.

After making several rounds through the hospital, and the meeting with Naruto's housemate, if the word was even applicable to the arrangement they had, Tsunade made the short walk to her new office to get a head start on the work that would need to be done. After searching through the rubble that was Sarutobi's office, Tsunade found a small book, hidden in a special compartment she knew he used to keep those hideous porn books of his. However, instead of the magazines she was sure to burn at the most opportune time she found a small book, locked in with a simple jutsu.

It was a diary. It covered a startling multitude of subjects, some of which she would have to investigate later, but her eyes had been riveted to the information that detailed Naruto's upbringing, or lack thereof.

Could it be that never say die personality trait of his? His ability to stand up after life continually tries to beat him down and snuff out his flame. She didn't know, and knew the answer would be long in coming. A mere week was too short a time to form a detailed impression on anyone.

A heated argument taking place outside her door brought her back to the present. Annoyed at the disturbance, Tsunade was about to shout at the guilty parties when the voice of the very person she had been thinking about drifted, or more like crashed through the walls.

"Hey. Get the hell out my way. I'm the one that brought her back," shouted an angry Naruto.

The ANBU guard didn't seem phased in the least, or it would have been that way if the man was dealing with anyone other than Naruto. The blonde had a way of wearing down even the hardest of shinobi.

"Look kid. Hokage-sama is busy. She is preparing herself for…"

Naruto cut him off, "I don't care. I need to talk to her. She said I can come by anytime I want anyway."

It was impossible to see what facial expression the man wore, but the clenching and unclenching of his fist was a pretty good reminder that he didn't appreciate the lack of respect. "I don't care if she told you to bake her cookies and bring milk, I'm not…"

"I don't even know how to bake cookies."

The ANBU's entire right arm gave a jerk, drawing the eye of the laughing female secretary and Naruto, who looked defiant, arms crossed with the angry jut of his chin in the air.

Tsunade pushed the door open and walked into the scene, raising an eyebrow at the ANBU in question, who had the good grace to bow and issue an apology.

"Now you," Tsunade said, pointing at Naruto, who seemed to have no idea of the chaos he was causing, "get inside this room and be quiet. It's been too good of a day for you to be ruining it."

Grumbling past the woman, Naruto walked into the room and took the first chair he came to.

"What's got you so riled up this afternoon?" Tsunade asked after getting a good look at him. His clothes were rumpled, and there was a purpling bruise on his jaw. Always a good indication of a physical altercation.

"It's that bastard Sasuke. He just pisses me off more and more each day."

'_Ahhh,'_ Tsunade thought. _'I should have known.'_ Well, not really. After yesterday's experience it could have been a number of things.

"What happened?" Tsunade asked, interested in knowing what happened.

As Naruto related the story to her, Tsunade never interrupted and her face remained the stoic mask. Tsunade was well versed, and could easily pick out the parts of his story that were influenced by his him, but after a while she could picture just what had transpired earlier.

"And when did you say this happened?" she asked.

"I don't know," Naruto huffed. "Maybe an hour or two earlier."

"So where have you been this whole time?"

"In the forest practicing. Ero-sennin told me I needed to blow off some steam before I talked to somebody."

'_A lot of good that did,'_ Tsunade thought, shaking her head. She would need to get someone out to the forest to catalogue the damage done.

"So what did you come here for? There is nothing I can do. Brawls unfortunately are quite common in some villages."

Letting out a depressed sigh, Naruto hung his head. "I don't know. I guess I just wanted someone to talk to."

Curiosity got the better of her, and although knowing it was childish to bring up, something prompted Tsunade to ask, "What about Urd and Anko?. And maybe even Sakura?"

"Urd is gone. I don't know where, but she wasn't at home when I went to look. Anko-sensei told me earlier she was going to be busy all day, so don't look for her till later. And Sakura-chan… after the fight she went back to check on Sasuke. I don't think she want's to talk to me right now."

Getting out of her chair, Tsunade made her way around the desk to kneel in front of the dejected looking Naruto. '"Why are you so sad? Just a minute ago you seemed okay. You were angry enough to barge your way in here."

"I don't know. It's just… sometimes you get tired of being the scapegoat all the time. It doesn't matter what I do, someone is going to be angry. My own teammate hates me for getting him help."

Taking a deep breath, Tsunade pulled Naruto's head up by his chin, making sure he was making eye contact with her. "You are a strong young man, a lot stronger than you realize, and I can't begin to imagine what life's like for you. But, you have to keep fighting. Isn't that what you told me? That no matter what I said, you were going to become the best shinobi ever known."

At her words he perked up a little, but his mind continued going over the altercation in the hospital, and no matter how he looked at it, he couldn't figure out what went wrong. He thought for sure him and Sasuke were beyond that phase where everything they did was a challenge. Sure he looked at Sasuke as a rival, but he regarded him as something of a friend as well. To have that spit on so callously was a sharper blow than he realized till now.

Whatever had been bothering him was bad enough for him to take his anger out on his two teammates. And Sasuke was a lot of things, and cut off a lot people, but Naruto didn't remember a time where he physically took action against Sakura.

"Besides," Tsunade continued, "you have a lot of things people are unconsciously jealous of."

Naruto did look up at that statement. "What do you mean?"

"Look at your life. You have Iruka, who seems to treat you like an older brother. There's Urd and Anko, who even from the short time I talked to them, it was obvious they would do anything to make you happy. An even though your teammates may act like inconsiderate jerks sometimes, they still are a sort of family. And from the talk, the younger generation of shinboi look up to you. Looking at it from an outside perspective, you have a lot of things people would give their lives for."

Her putting it in words like that made his bitching seem kind of sorry. "I guess I am being a little melodramatic."

"Not really. You helped a friend, and instead of a thank you, you got a fight."

Wanting to get away from Sasuke and his apparent pms mood swings, Naruto decided a change of subject was in order. He originally hadn't come here to unburden his problems, he had just wanted to see how she was doing.

"So what are you doing today?" Naruto asked, smile in place.

Tsunade frowned at his sidestepping, but remained mum about it. This was the first time he had consciously sought her out and that was the only reason she stopped herself from grilling him.

"It's been okay. I've been very busy. There is a lot of work involved, especially with the hospital, and various forms that need to be sent out notifying the other villagers of a change in leadership. And I haven't even begun to look for a place I can stay."

"You're not staying with Shizune-neechan?"

Tsunade shook her head. "No. Shizune still has family members that live here. They wanted her to come with me to make sure I didn't do anything crazy once I left the village."

"Is she related to your old boyfriend."

Giving him a smile to let him know the question had not bothered her that much, Tsunade said, "Dan was her uncle. Shizune's father is a retired shinobi, and with his wife they have a home here. In fact, all their relatives are pretty close knit."

Naruto thought over that particular bit of information, realizing that she hadn't made any mention of her own family, Naruto took it to mean she either had no family in the village, which would be weird, but believable considering how old she was, or the family members that she had she was not on good terms with.

He probably gave the thought far less consideration than he needed to. In fact, he knew he didn't. But Naruto was always one for action more so than words, and before he could think about what the other women in his life would think, he asked, "Why don't you move in with us?"

"…What?"

The more Naruto thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea to him. They had started off on rocky ground, but over the span of a few days Naruto couldn't think of anyone else he would rather have around. Other than the friends closest to him, how many people would honestly almost kill themselves to not only bring him back to life, but shield him from a sword-tongue, lashing maniac?

Exactly.

Not a damn lot.

That was why asking her to move in when she was obviously having trouble looking for her own place was the decent thing to do. He had more than enough room, something that was evident by the crazy amount of time Anko spent the night in one of the guest rooms.

"Why not? We have more than enough room, and instead of letting Urd stack her sake in one of them you can live in it."

"I don't know Naruto." Tsunade said, standing up and taking a seat on the front edge of her desk. "From what I learned, you got a few people who might not like this decision."

Naruto looked genuinely confused, asking, "Like who?"

"Urd and Anko," Tsunade pointed out exasperated. How could he not know who she was talking about?

"Why should they care? Urd said it's my house."

Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Tsunade weighed the pros and cons of following through with the offer. True she wouldn't have to go through the long process of finding a suitable home, and she had seen enough of his home to know that it was beautiful, despite the odd nick-nacks spread all over the place. But did she really want to live in the same place she'd received over one hundred complaints on from the exact time she was announced as Hokage?. Looking over the complaint forms some of the stuff they wrote about was so ludicrous she never would have believed it in a million years.

Tsunade released an internal sigh, and tried not to fall into the too, too innocent look in his eyes. Really, the way he just came out and offered to have her stay with him; the kid had no shame at all.

If she didn't know any better, she would think he was willingly trying to gather every female he could of interest and keep them all under his wing. Silly talk of course, because no twelve year old was that devious.

… He better not be.

"I'll think about it. Come by later and we'll talk about it a little more, okay?."

Naruto nodded his head, and the two of them fell into easy conversation. After what seemed like hours, but what was surely only several minutes, Tsunade found herself strangely melancholy when he bid her goodbye to go about his business for the day.

"I guess there goes my answer right there," she said to herself.

* * *

After leaving the Hokage tower with a promise to Tsunade that he would come by later, Naruto found himself with nothing to do. Strange as it sounded, that was an extremely rare occurrence in his life. There was either training with Anko, handling business with the team, goofing off with Urd, and a lot of other things he did without conscience thought in between.

The question now was what to do? He still could not find Urd, and there was no commotion or mayhem going on so that made it that much harder to find her. Anko was busy. Actually getting off her ass and doing something regarding her job for once. And after the fight on the roof, he didn't feel all that eager to seek out his team. That left very few alternatives.

Giving off a careless shrug, Naruto started heading toward the one place he could always go no matter the time of day.

Ichiraku ramen. Now that he thought about, it had been a while since he'd made a visit. With Anko trying to force feed him all these supposedly different kinds of health foods, and Urd constantly trying to feed him her hand made supplements, he couldn't sneak away and enjoy even one bowl.

But today there was no one to stop him from enjoying it. The urge to release a girlish giggle was overwhelming, but Naruto valiantly kept it at bay.

Taking a step forward, Naruto's feet touched the ground and as if walking on water, a small ripple echoing across the ground. The effect was so startling, Naruto jumped back, the same thing happening as each foot touched down.

"What the hell?" Naruto gasped, his voice heightened an octave from the feeling of fear staring to mount.

Naruto frantically looking around, trying to see if anyone else noticed, but to his surprise everything was deathly silent. People were paused mid-motion in various forms of action, as if time simply stopped for them. Letting his gaze encompass the entire block, Naruto could see the grass stilled, birds in mid-flight caught in the air, and there was not a trace of the wind.

The sight freaked Naruto out more than anything else he had ever seen.

"Do not be alarmed, brother."

Naruto spun around and no possible preparation could have prepared him for the sight in front of him.

"Haku?" Naruto asked in disbelief.

Haku looked the same, the same clothing that he had worn during their battle on the bridge several months ago. Haku's tone was the same, light and airy, as if carried by the wind itself. But there was something different, a power there that did not exist when he first met the renegade ninja. "Yes, it is me Naruto-kun, and I'm sure you have a ton of questions, but those should be for another time."

For another time! Naruto didn't know what the hell was going on but he was smart enough to know nothing about this was normal. Whatever genjutsu he had been put under was exceptionally well done.

"Haku, did you do this?" Naruto asked the former Mist-nin. "What's going on?"

"As for who did this? " Haku pointed to the little girl standing beside him. "This is Hana."

Naruto, in his shock, had managed to completely overlook the little girl standing next Haku. The girl did not appear to be any older than seven or eight. She had short, almost shoulder length mane of red hair. Her complexion was several shades darker than Haku or anyone Naruto knew. Almond-shaped eyes with mahogany colored irises seemed to radiate a look of complete antipathy. Her small figure was dressed in an elegant red kimono.

"…Who?"

"Hana," the small girl intoned, her voice making a small shiver race down Naruto's spine. How one girl so young could sound so emotionless was beyond Naruto.

"To your second question," Haku said, drawing Naruto's attention back to him. "We have come to you with a proposition."

"Proposition?" Naruto knew he was beginning to sound like a broken record, but he was still stuck in a fog of surprise.

"We will need your strength soon, brother. I'm sure you've already run into the group calling themselves Akatsuki., and you know their objective." At Naruto's slight nod, Haku continued. "My goal is to gather the few of us that remain and begin preparing ourselves to mount an offensive. You, my brother, will be a great boon to our cause."

None of this made any sense to Naruto. That Haku was supposed to be dead, buried under a handmade grave in the Wave country was a fact that Naruto just could not relinquish. But not only was he here, but there was a little girl with him that gave him the creeps worse than Anko could hope to accomplish. Was this a dream? A figment of his imagination?

Just what the hell was going on?

"Brother? This is the second time you've called me that. Why is that?"

"Simple, because like you, Hana and I are Jinchuuriki," Haku stated calmly.

Naruto had no idea what the word meant, but he could put enough of the meaning together to realize what Haku was suggesting.

"Don't believe me," Haku mocked, "I'm sure the Kyuubi will validate my claims."

'_Hey.'_ When Naruto didn't receive an immediate answer, he decided he needed to get a lot louder. _'HEY, I know you hear me you damn furball.'_

Still, there was no answer and Naruto was beginning to worry that something was wrong with him. The damn fox had never failed to pop up when it suited his best interest, and though reluctantly sometimes, when Naruto sought him out they did have something approaching a regular conversation.

What did this silence mean then?

"I see he has chosen to remain silent," Haku said with a saddened sigh. "I would have hoped for his participation in this ordeal, but nevertheless, you are his container Naruto-kun, so you have the power. I would…"

Before he could finish up his next statement the small girl Hana tugged on his clothing, alerting him to an incoming presence. "Haku-niichan, there are others coming."

"It seems that our time is coming to a close, but the offer still stands. Think on it Naruto-kun. We will try to keep in touch."

Naruto finally gathered his wits and tried to move and catch the two, but in the next instant the world around him blurred as everything began to move in real time again. The sudden jerk of motion drew Naruto to his knees, and he tried to catch himself before he released this mornings breakfast onto the ground.

Walking into the clearing, Urd and Kurenai found Naruto on his knees and rushed to his side to see what was going on. "Naruto, what happened?"

Naruto could only shake his head while trying to get his surroundings to stop spinning. "I…don't know…"

Kurenai gave him a quick appraisal with her eyes, noting that nothing seemed wrong from the outside, but from the looks of it he seemed to be experiencing an extreme case of vertigo.

Urd looked around the area, picking up the faint traces of magic. Someone was here, that much she knew, and they were just talking to Naruto. It couldn't have been for more than a few seconds. Gazing down at Naruto, Urd didn't like the glazed look in his eyes.

"Kurenai, can you help me get him home?."

Kurenai nodded, lifting Naruto's arm over her shoulder as Urd did the same for the other side. Taking slow, measured steps, the two women walked past the prying eyes, never noticing the single black bat that had seen everything, having taken perch, hanging upside down under one of the local merchants awning.

* * *

Omake – An Unpleasant Future

"Haku, did you do this?" Naruto asked the former Mist-nin. "What's going on?"

"As for who did this? " Haku pointed to the little girl standing beside him. "This is Hana."

Naruto, in his shock, had managed to completely overlook the little girl standing next Haku. The girl did not appear to be any older than seven or eight. She had short, almost shoulder length mane of red hair. Her complexion was several shades darker than Haku or anyone Naruto knew. Almond-shaped eyes with mahogany colored irises seemed to radiate a look of complete antipathy. Her small figure was dressed in an elegant red kimono.

"…Who?"

"Hana," Haku elaborated. "You're daughter."

Naruto blinked in disbelief. "I think you got the wrong guy. There's no way that's my daughter. She sounds so dead."

Haku shook his head, tears coming to his eyes. "If you only knew the future you condemned her too. She has lost all emotion."

"Now just wait a minute. It can't be that bad." Naruto said getting a little angry. "What about the girl's mother?"

"That is what caused this tragedy. You, after drinking yourself into oblivion married Maito Gai's younger sister. Young Kanna's fate was sealed that one night of drunken copulation."

Naruto couldn't believe his ears. Surely he hadn't made such a monumental mistake. But the eyes didn't lie, and the eyes of the young girl were tortured.

"Hana-chan?" Naruto questioned.

"I hate you otousan. Now feel my pain."

Naruto could only scream as the young girl submerged him in a genjutsu that showed him partaking in the Maito family reunion. An event that lasted an entire week.

He would never be the same again.

* * *

AN: Thanks go to JohhnyG once again. Without his help… ran out of jokes, but know this. You wouldn't have liked reading this.

Yes, Haku is alive in another one of my fics and I don't feel the least bit shamed. I believe he got the shaft from the get-go. Because he was shown in the beginning of the manga he ended up as story fodder. He was too kick-ass to let die in such a weak manner in my opinion. But there will be a few differences. Yes, Haku will stay a guy. No, Haku will not hook up with Naruto. Yes, Haku has his own agenda. So that should cover everything, except his past, but that's for later.

Hana the little girl is a combination of Kanna from Inuyasha, Anna for Darkstalkers, the creepy little girl from the Ring, and all the other frightening little sweethearts put together. Since this thing isn't going to follow the canon plot too much longer I feel safe in introducing her now.

Not much else to say. As you can see, the ripples of change are flowing and the outcome will be seen by all soon. Hope everyone sticks around.


	7. Act II 03: Ah! Those Are Changes

**Ah! My Naruto**

By Gmusick

**Act II: Chapter 03 – Ah! It's the Beginning of Change**

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer.

This was the best part of the day. After the staggering hours of hard work she was finally able to drag herself away from the office. The thought of relaxing for the rest of the day with a nice jug of sake ready was such a pleasant sight, she could of sworn there was a small amount of drool hanging from her mouth.

If Shizune knew what she was thinking, Tsunade had no doubts her longtime student would have went into lecture mode; something Tsunade had a little too much time facing during their travels. But Shizune was off preparing herself for her new duties, and getting to know her family again. Tsunade didn't begrudge her that in the least. Earlier in the day she had come to the office apologizing profusely for not being able to help her get better situated. The entire scene she presented gave Tsunade a slight pang in her heart.

How many times during their journeys had this young woman saved her from herself? What type of life did she have to show for it?

After the many, many years of travel together, Shizune had nothing to show for herself except her pet pig Tonton, and an extensive knowledge of medical jutsu that would put anyone else but her to shame.

Of course, Shizune didn't see it that way, but the girl was far too polite to say otherwise. In Tsunade's mind, it was time to let her go. She was still young enough to make a life for herself doing a number of things. Tsunade doubted she would have to pull strings; Shizune had a brilliant mind.

"Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade blinked, and found Yuuhi Kurenai, one of the newer appointed jounins she had come to find out, walking toward her.

"How are you this afternoon?"

Smiling pleasantly, Tsunade answered, "A little better. The amount of work that needs to be done is ridiculous, but it's getting there."

"That's good," Kurenai commented lightly.

After that, the two continued walking together for a short time before it became apparent that both of them were headed in the same direction.

"Are you headed to Naruto's home, Hokage-sama?" Kurenai asked.

Just then realizing where her feet were taking her, Tsunade angrily let out a breath of frustration. "I guess I am. Didn't even realize it."

"Oh."

There was a note of worry, or make that apprehension, in the younger woman's voice that got Tsunade's attention. Immediately her mind went back to the four foot pile of paperwork written up about Naruto and everyone that frequented his residence. "Is something wrong?"

Kurenai seemed hesitant, but thought it over. Both Anko and Urd told her to keep the situation to themselves, that involving others would only draw unwanted attention, but Kurenai was worried. Naruto had not been the same since this afternoon.

But the winning argument was that Tsunade was a medic-nin, and not just any medic either. She was regarded as the best in shinobi history, trumping other contributors to medical arts by miles.

Still, she wondered if saying anything was the best thing to do. She had only been with the group for a day or two, and though they treated her as if she'd been their friend all along, maybe this was overstepping her bounds.

In lieu of all that, Kurenai had Naruto's health in mind. "There appears to be something wrong with Naruto," she said.

Almost by reflex Tsunade grabbed Kurenai's hand, worry shining clearly in her eyes. "What happened? Is he okay?"

"We don't know. Urd and I found him crouched down in the middle of the market, and he seemed really dizzy. After we took him to his home, he simply walked out of our arms, went in his room and locked the door. He hasn't spoken to any of us since, and that was hours ago."

Tsunade's mind immediately began working through her encyclopedic knowledge of sicknesses, but after a short time knew it was fruitless unless she was actually able to see him.

"Is he still there?"

Kurenai nodded. "The last time I came from their home the door was still barred. No matter what we did there was no way to open it."

Tsunade wanted her to clarify that last sentence, but decided otherwise. The longer they were here, the less she would be able to fix the problem until she got directly to the source.

"I need to see what's going on."

Kurenai said nothing, but took off after Tsunade, hot on her trails, all the while dreading that something was extremely wrong.

* * *

When the two of them knocked, no one came to answer the door. After waiting for several seconds, Tsunade, decided that waiting any longer would not be smart. Opening the door, the two of them made their way into Naruto's home. Searching the common area, they found no one present. From there, it was only a short walk into the back where everyone's individual rooms were. And there, in the main hallway, was Urd, Anko, and Shizune.

"Shizune, what are you doing here?" Tsunade asked; surprised to see her apprentice when she was sure she was with her family.

Shizune seemed equally amazed at her long-time sensei's presence. "Tsunade-sama. I was trying to help Urd and Anko with Naruto."

Face collapsing into a frown, Tsunade walked toward the one door everyone seemed to be lounging around. Urd was sitting with her back to the wall next to the door, Anko stood leaning against the adjacent wall, and Shizune standing in the middle of the floor. There was little to no conversation, and from the looks of things the women assembled looked to sway between varying stages of tiredness, worry, and a small bit of anger.

Standing in front of the door, Tsunade looked down at Urd, giving a small headshake for her to move out the way. "Naruto, what are you doing? Are you okay?"

When she received no answer, Anko spoke in an almost mocking tone. "We've done that before plenty of times. I don't see how you think you'll get a different response."

Tsunade felt a little put back at the tone, but kept her thoughts to herself. Reaching out to knock on the door, her knuckles touched wood and a sharp blast of what she could only describe as energy shot through her fist.

"Ouch. What is…"

The door swung open, and the occupant the women had spent an entire afternoon worrying over walked out. The worry at his health, the anger at his total dismissal of them, and so many other emotions were free to burst from their eager mouths, but nobody said anything.

The boy that walked out the door was Uzumaki Naruto, but his eyes somehow showed him to be a completely different person. He looked haunted.

"Ruto?" Urd questioned when the silence surrounding them became thick with anticipation. Something was wrong with him, very wrong.

Naruto looked up, his eyes falling on the now upright Anko. Something seemed to flash in his eyes, making her brace herself for something. What it could be, she didn't know, but she had not existed for several hundred years only to forget about her well honedwell-honed instincts.

Naruto's voice was as dead as the look in his eyes. "You can drop the disguise, I know who you are."

Only a select group of people knew what he was referring to, specifically Urd and Anko. In between the unknowing looks passed between the regular crowd, Urd tried to head off the coming revelation. "Naruto, I don't think…"

He didn't seem to heed her warning, his eyes still locked with Anko's. Anko's entire demeanor seemed to radiate a hidden power everyone could feel tingling against their skin. With a cool, expressionless gaze, there was a slight shift in air temperature, but nothing else to signal such an awesome display. And in less than two seconds Anko Mitarashi as everyone knew her was gone, replaced by Morrigan Aensland, resplendent in a black bikini and matching leather pants.

The sight of the transformation brought gasps.

Shizune's eyes were nearly bulging out of their sockets. "Wh-w-w-what…?"

Kurenai could only blink in stunned incomprehension. "…"

Tsunade looked the most composed, merely raising an eyebrow.

But the most telling reaction was from the young man surrounded by the visions of loveliness. And that was the slack-jawed expression that now hung on Naruto's previously dour face.

"What's wrong Naruto-kun," Morrigan purred. "You're the one who asked me to change."

Stuttering a response, the rosy cheeked Naruto tried to marshal his resistance and use the speech he had spent a good two hours going over. "Could you put on some clothes please?"

Morrigan looked down at her outfit, making sure to run her hands along her thighs, and hips, slowly sliding up her stomach, and reaching her b…

Naruto tried shielding his eyes with his hands. "Damn it. Will you stop that?"

Morrigan gave a cute little pout. "Phooey. You're still too innocent."

"Excuse me, but I think everyone would like an explanation to what's going on," Tsunade said, with a small air of authority.

"Naruto, why did you do this?" Urd asked in genuine confusion.

Naruto seemed to struggle with his answer, roughly running his hand through his hair. "I don't know. That damn fox told me. I didn't believe him at first, but he kept laughing at me telling me how stupid I was so I had to see."

"Was that what you've been doing this entire time? Talking to the Kyuubi," Tsunade asked.

"Yeah, I wanted to know what happened this afternoon. I told him I wasn't leaving until I had some answers. It took a while, because he kept trying to kick me out, but I got an answer…" Naruto's voice once again dropped to a low whisper, barely reaching the female contingents ears. "It just wasn't the one I was looking for…"

Morrigan wasn't the only one to frown at the implications of that statement.

"And what did he say," Urd questioned.

"He didn't say too much of anything, but his memories told me enough to know that he's a lot more dangerous than anyone realizes."

By now even Kurenai and Shizune were listening in rapt attention, shuddering at the thought of something so monstrously powerful being even more dangerous. Shizune had not been in the village during the attack. Her and Tsunade were long gone from the village gates when the news finally found them. By then it was much to late, and Tsunade was still not in the right mind to offer anyone any type of aid.

Kurenai vividly remembered the sight of the giant monstrosity attacking their village in the middle of what had been a beautiful night. She had been quickly approaching her attempt at the chuunin exams, and was extremely nervous.

She would be the first to admit she didn't have a lot of advantages going for her. And the few she did have she vehemently refused to use for fear of the consequences. Even the Hokage's attempt at talking to her proved futile. Her cell brother was already skyrocketing up the rank ladder, but she had no sort of ambition. Her only reason for continuing to be a shinobi was the will to protect. To make sure no one else would end up like her, but that goal would not be at a cost of using her power, a poisonous gift given to her by the vile Orochimaru..

Her parents had wanted to cheer her up;. so they had thrown her a small party, just the few relatives that made up the Yuuhi clan and herself being invited. The Kyuubi no Kitsune made sure such a celebration would not commence. She had not lost any family in the attack, but losing several close friends hurt just as much in the long run.

Kurenai's face was etched into a frown when she asked, "Is he trying to escape?"

"No, and I doubt he can. The seal seems unbreakable, but even if it wasn't, do you think he would tell me?"

"No I guess not," Kurenai whispered.

"Could you tell…"

Naruto cut Tsunade off, rubbing his hand through his hair in the same gesture from a few minutes ago. "Look, I know you all care and are just trying to help, but I need some space."

Turning away from the group of women, Naruto started toward the front of the house, intent on walking out when Urd's voice stopped him.

"Where are you going now?"

Naruto gave a careless shrug. "I'm just going for a walk. Don't worry. Whatever happened seems to have faded now. I'm okay."

"I don't think…"

Naruto's tone came out sharp as a whip. "I'll be right back."

Nobody said anything, watching him until he walked to the bend in the hall and disappeared around the corner. They could here the sounds of him putting on his sandals and walking out the front door.

Tsunade waited until she couldn't feel his chakra signature close to the home before saying, "Kurenai, go keep an eye on him."

Snapping to attention, Kurenai made a sharp salute, then disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

Urd shot a glare at the buxom blonde. "You didn't have to send her, I was going after him."

Tsunade didn't seem phased in the slightest, seemingly unaware of the slight tinge of power resting in the air. "I'm sure you were, but Naruto more than likely knows that and is sure to be looking for you. Added to that fact is that you were weren't surprised at the transformation, meaning you knew all along. You will stay here along with Anko and explain what is going on."

"No one nominated you head of the house so why should we listen to you?."

Morrigan remained silent through the short exchange, eyeing Tsunade with thinly veiled unease, and when Tsunade smiled, she knew she had made the best possible choice.

"I'm the Hokage, head of this village that you are staying in. You are also living with the child that carries an extremely dangerous being, something that should not be looked upon lightly. Any influence either of you may have could be deadly for the village as a whole. I am saying you're staying here because you don't have a choice. Either take a seat somewhere and talk, or refuse and be locked up on the grounds of treason. The choice is yours."

While the Urd silently seethed, and Morrigan coolly looked as if the situation was nothing to her, Tsunade did have one prevailing thought. _'So much for leaving Shizune behind.'

* * *

_

In this one year Naruto could recall a handful of moments that he could say had a profound affect on his life.

There was Urd magically appearing in his room that one night, after he struggled so hard to get what he thought was the holy grail, Sakura-chan's number. There was the shock of finding out that Gaara hadn't just been a born psychotic maniac, but a carrier just like him, with his own demon sealed inside him. What about the time he managed to protect Tsunade from Kabuto, finally pulling off the Ransengan in the pinch.

All of those and so many more littered this one year of his life. But everything paled in comparison to reliving through hundreds of years of life as a powerful warlord who indiscriminately ended lives on just a whim. The visions not only troubled him, but the thought of something so inherently evil being sealed inside him scared him more than anything else.

In retrospect, maybe he should have kept quiet. The Kyuubi was just a reluctant prisoner in the belly of a thirteen-year-old shinobi. A cold-blooded, extremely intelligent demon that ended up being given a huge surprise by completely underestimating a small group of what he called pitiful humans. But the seal did nothing to stop him from scheming. Naruto had no illusions that the demon wasn't trying it's best to escape the seal. That meant Naruto needed to try his hardest to keep him there.

Just the thought of the demon gaining his freedom…

His friends and family would never stand a chance.

He never would have known the true extent of the Kyuubi's power without the visions, but they gave Naruto a first person view of the monster. Urd hadn't talked about anything concerning heaven or hell. Their conversations always steered around his life or how to stop the next catastrophe that befell them from something she did. And in truth, he never cared to know.

The Kyuubi rightly labeled him a sun-blinded, delusional human, though with a touch of disgust that rankled Naruto even now, pointing out his failure to recognize the queen of the succubi who continually stayed in contact with him under the guise of Anko.

Why hadn't he questioned Urd about her life? Other than the first night they met, she really had not spoken to him about anything concerning herself. And the little blowups were taken care in quick order without him wondering how or why they happened.

When he found out he housed the Kyuubi inside him, did he go and try to find out what actually happened that night? No. He just took it like another grain of salt and went on his way. A foolish mistake he knew now.

Ignorance is truly bliss.

The question now was what to do with this new knowledge.

With Anko, no Moirrigan, the situation with her didn't change. She was still his sensei and friend. And though he was a little mad about her tricking him into thinking Morrigan and Anko were two different people, she didn't use it against him for anything. But what did she want? Kyuubi told him she was a queen, an overlord of her own realm. So why was she here? What reason would she have to live in this world? Why spend her time training him when he was sure there were tons of other things someone as important as her could do.

And Urd, he knew of the wish to keep her here, but did she really want to stay here? From the memories of the Kyuubi Naruto knew heaven was a beautiful place. He could think of nothing in his short lifetime that could compare. Why then would she stick around in this dirtball?

It was a harsh way to describe his own home, but he _knew_ there were better places out there. It was different when you suspected the world was bigger than you thought, but it was an entirely different feeling when you found out your world was just another ball in a galaxy full.

That there was a heaven and hell.

That there was a war between the two that lasted more than a millennia.

Or that you carried a demon inside you that had a body count from both realms in the tens of thousands.

It was a humbling experience in the very least. In a way Naruto felt like he had aged a hundred years in little over four hours. Tired did not begin to describe how he felt.

Releasing a breath of air, Naruto shook his head and looked up to try and see just where he was. So intent on sorting through his muddled thoughts he had not paid the least amount of attention to where he was going.

"That was mighty stupid of you," Naruto mumbled to himself.

Naruto idly walked through the now empty streets. He didn't how fast he had been walking, but it was getting darker by the minute and he wondered if he should just head back home. They did seem worried when he left and no matter how much he thought about his current situation he would not be able to do anything about it for awhile.

He was turning to head home when he heard the sound of someone crying. Pausing for just a second, Naruto somehow knew who it was. _'What is she doing out this late? And why is she crying?'_

Walking toward the noise, Naruto turned a corner and came face-to-face with Sasuke and Sakura in the middle of what looked like a one-sided argument. Crouching behind one of the closer buildings, Naruto sat and listened in on the conversation, his eyes widening further and further as he finally understood just what was going on.

'_Just what is that moron doing?'_ Naruto silently seethed. _'Does he want to have the ANBU or hunter-nin tracking him down?'_

He didn't know what possessed him to stay still but he did. Listening to Sakura pour her heart out to Sasuke was a weird feeling. He knew he cared about her, and if the situation allowed it he would not hesitate to call her his girl, but that was before Naruto saw from a first-hand perspective what life could be like in a much harsher situation and it had a dramatic effect on the way he reacted. In a sense, Naruto felt sorry for her. That she could put so much of herself into somebody that never had a kind word for her, someone who continually looked down on everyone around him. She had family, friends, a life, and yet she was willing to throw it away on a pipe dream. Did she even know what life on the run would be like?

Despite his thoughts, Naruto's body went into automatic when Sasuke knocked Sakura out and placed her on a nearby bench.

"You got a lot of nerve bastard."

Sasuke spun around, shock clear on his face. "…Naruto!"

Naruto's face was still as stone, and his voice carried the thinnest traces of anger. "Yeah it's me, and I heard your entire conversation. Tell me, was this something you planned, or just another one of your thirst for power schemes?."

Sasuke sneered, giving Naruto the same look he always gave him when he was looking down on him. "And what are you going to do about it? You can't stop me. I know you haven't forgotten about earlier."

Naruto made no outward reaction to the barb, but inside he was fuming. "I'm not going to preach to you, but even someone as supposedly smart as you should know what's going to happen when you go out those gates."

"I know and I don't care. My one goal is to get stronger. No matter the means."

Naruto shook his head. "That is why you're a moron."

"What did you say," Sasuke snarled.

"You heard me," Naruto answered just as vehement.

Sasuke snorted, looking at Naruto as if he was something lower than the dirt on his feet. "Someone as weak as you wouldn't understand. Stay here and learn how to pick weeds or whatever else you want to do."

Sasuke turned around and started making his way toward the appointed meeting place, obviously dismissing Naruto from his attention.

"I'm going to tell you one last thing and you can do whatever."

Sasuke didn't turn around, but stopped walking.

Naruto's voice was clear and concise. "If they call me out to track you down I will do everything to bring you back, even if that means breaking every bone in your body."

Sasuke's smile was downright condescending. "I would like to see you try. You don't have it in you to beat me."

And with that, Sasuke left, disappearing into the night, leaving Naruto standing alone.

Kurenai, who was cloaked in the nearby shadows, saw the entire exchange and felt a deep sense of regret. She knew the story behind the Uchiha child and even sympathized with him somewhat. But he was making a mistake that would cost him for years to come.

She took a cursory glance at Naruto and watched as he checked Sakura over to make sure nothing was wrong with her. He seemed to war with taking her home or just leaving her there. Finally, he took off his coat and laid it across the girl's chest, tucking her in before walking off to what looked like the Hokage memorial.

Hands racing through a set of complex seals, there was a slight waver in her shadow that spread and took the shape of its caster. Kurenai looked at the clone and whispered a set of commands. "You follow Naruto and keep an eye on him. I'm going to report to the Hokage."

The clone gave a nod and vanished in a cloud of smoke. Kurenai took one last look at the direction Sasuke walked off in. "It's sad to see that the pursuit of power can corrupt even the youth."

Standing up, Kurenai herself disappeared in a small whirlwind of leaves.

* * *

Tsunade was seated across the dining table from Urd, Morrigan taking the left, and Shizune the right. There were two jugs of sake on the table, and each of the four assorted saucers were filled to various degrees, and though drink was plentiful, it wasn't without a bit of restraint. The information being passed around was much too delicate for cloudy minds to muddle through.

Tsunade's gaze was locked onto some unknown point in the room. "Okay, I get why Urd is here. You say you were brought here by a wish, and because of that you have to stick with Naruto until you're called back or the contract is fulfilled."

Urd took a long sip, exhaling as the liquid warmed her slightly from the inside. "Yep, and I plan on sticking around for the long haul. I'm having too much fun to want to leave."

Tsunade turned her attention to the green haired vixen in the seat next to her. "You've told me why you're here. You have the contract with Anko to kill Orochimaru, but why haven't you? I have no illusions that you aren't strong enough to kill him."

Sighing, Morrigan tossed her flowing hair behind her head with a hand sweep. "That's simple enough. When Naruto turns of age, I'm going to take him as my betrothed."

Tsunade and Urd couldn't help the knee-jerk reaction and spat out their mouthfuls of sake, leaving Shizune as the only member smart enough to have not drunk anything before the demoness spoke. She had been in an all too familiar fog of shock since the very beginning and the thought of drinking herself was a beautiful idea, but only after this meeting.

Urd's eyes were wide as saucers. "What are you talking about?"

"It's quite simple. When Naruto comes of age I will take him as my consort and bring the decision to the council of my lands."

"Can you do that? Isn't the fact that he's human putting a snag in your plans?" Tsunade asked.

"No," Morrigan answered with a shake of her head. "Once Naruto learns how to control his power it would be simple enough for him to show those delirious fools their opinions mean nothing."

"Are you taking into consideration if he would even want to become your husband," Tsunade asked, once again brining an opposing question.

Morrigan's eyes flashed a different shade for a mere second, and a smile came to her face that would send males within a twenty-foot radius into convulsions. She licked her lips and her voice dropped to a seductive whisper. "That is where I'm sure I could persuade him to agree."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "If that's the case, why not just take him now? He's at the age where your influence could have ended the battle prematurely."

"What would be the point of taking him now and making him into some mindless puppy? I have no need for him to become dependent on me or reluctant to do anything in my presence,." Morrigan snorted in answer.

"I doubt a few more years would make a big difference," Tsunade said.

"It would in a human child. But he is not, so there goes that excuse." Morrigan gave Tsunade a shrewd look. "Why do you care? Other than him bringing you back this should not concern you."

"Why shouldn't she? I know I don't want him running off to live in that crazy realm you call home," said Urd.

"Now, now Urd. Don't feel bad. Surely he'll allow you to visit sometimes." Morrigan shot back at the Goddess.

Urd's eyes narrowed into thin slits. "I'm not letting you take him anywhere."

Morrigan returned the hostile look. "Really? And what are you going to do to stop me?"

Tsunade slammed her hand against the table, putting a small indention into the polished wood. "Look. We don't need this right now, okay?. Settle this another time."

Both Demoness and Goddess turned their attention to the blonde pony-tailed woman.

"You've been questioning us all day, how about you tell us what's your deal," Urd said with a cocked eyebrow. "There is something that has been bugging me about you since you got here."

Morrigan looked Tsunade over. "You're human, that much I can tell, but something is off about you."

Shizune looked at her former sensei and tried to see what the two of them were talking about. Tsunade looked the same as she always was. Her eyes weren't as sad as they normally were, but she chalked that up to Naruto.

Tsunade sighed into her cup and turned it down, pouring herself another cup and repeating the same action. "Since the two of you have been so upfront about everything, I guess it's my turn to reveal something."

Shizune watched in wide-eyed fascination as Tsunade released the genjutsu that concealed her age. But instead of seeing the rare form of her fifty-year-old body, Shizune saw a nineteen-year-old teenager.

Urd said nothing, "…"

Morrigan said nothing, "…"

Shizune had the good grace to faint dead away.

"Either Naruto was exaggerating his stories again or there is a reasonable explanation," Morrigan's surprisingly calm voice said.

"Actually there is."

**Flashback **

_Tsunade stumbled her way to the restroom, trying her best to keep the noise as low as possible. She was hurting… badly. Her body making a delayed reaction to the jutsu being used as extensively as it had. If she could just make it before anyone noticed her, she could ride the convulsions out for the rest of the night, and no one would know a thing._

_Finally reaching the door, Tsunade struggled to turn the knob when it was suddenly pulled open for her. Stumbling back she fell and chocked back a cry of pain._

_Naruto stepped out the restroom and looked down at the quivering woman. "Tsunade-obaachan? What's wrong?"_

_She struggled when he lifted her up, her body responding to his touch as if he were on fire himself. _

"_Obaachan, what's wrong?" She continued to moan, seemingly breaking out in a fever. Naruto, if not before, was really starting to panic. "I need to get ero-sennin."_

_When he tried to lay her back down, her hand grabbed his arm with a surprising amount of strength considering her condition. "Nooooo," she managed to squeak out._

"_Why not? You're sick. You need help."_

_Tsunade continued to shake her head despite her convulsions getting worse. "Restttroooom," she whispered, her voice carrying a slight quiver. _

_Naruto, not knowing what else to do, lifted her up and took her into the restroom, carefully placing her into the tub. Sitting on the side, Naruto continued fretting over her, scared of just letting her wallow in apparent pain. "What's going on? I can't help if I don't know what's going on." _

_Tsunade pain-filled eyes slowly opened, "My body is reacting from using the seal again."_

"_Has it always been this bad?" Naruto asked._

_Tsunade made a small shake of her head. With a sardonic chuckle she said, "Maybe I'm getting too old."_

_Naruto suddenly grabbed Tsunade's head and placed his right palm in contact with her forehead. Tsunade blinked at the bleary vision in front of her. "What are you doing?"_

"_I don't even know if this is going to work, but I won't know if I don't try." _

_A bright flash of light was all Tsunade saw before a pain she could never describe hit her. She wanted to scream, but the sound would not come, leaving her gagging for air. Her hands, with the little strength she had, were pulling at Naruto, trying with her failing power to get him off of her, to stop him from hurting her. And when the pain had gotten too much for her to handle, Tsunade fell into blissful unconsciousness._

**End Flashback **

"After I woke up, Naruto was looking down at me and from the look on his face I knew something was wrong.He just handed me a mirror and I saw the same thing you see for yourself. I made him promise not to tell anyone until I figured out what happened."

"What did Naruto actually do?" Urd questioned, the staggering amount of possibilities circling through her head.

"He says he doesn't know. That he was just trying to emulate the healing jutsu I used to revive him, but I know something else happened."

Morrigan asked, "Are you feeling any side-effects?"

"No, and until I can do a thorough scan I won't know anytime soon. This condition could only last for a day, a week, or a month. It may be years before anything else happens. I just don't know."

"Do you feel okay?"

Tsunade gave the Goddess one of her few true smiles. "I feel great, better than I've felt in a long time. Whatever he did, it reversed my aging a great deal."

Morrigan was quickly coming to terms with the situation. No doubt this was a startling setback. The young woman in front of her was gorgeous to say the least, humiliating a good ninety-percent of the female population in looks alone, but to add to that her mental age and maturity, along with her apparent affection for Naruto, and Morrigan could see a plethora of trouble ahead.

"Why have you been hiding this change then," Morrigan asked.

Tsunade happy visage quickly changed into a frown. "Because of the trouble it would cause Naruto."

Morrigan didn't seem convinced.

"If it was known Naruto was somehow able to reverse my age, the council and many other influential members of the village would not hesitate to have me thrown off the seat of Hokage. I assure you, they would conjure up some reason along the lines of him controlling me somehow, or putting me under his thrall, and have him executed on first sight. That's not accounting for the number of people, friends and enemies that would seek him out to make him repeat the process for their benefit." Tsunade took a sip from her forgotten saucer. "All in all, it's just not worth it."

The three descended into silence, thoughts toward organizing the information that they shared this evening.

"Too bad Kurenai missed out," Urd joked.

Tsunade laughed behind her hands, the giggle sounding foreign to her own ears. Morrigan merely shook her head, a small upturn of her lips showing she concurred with the statement.

The sound of a door opening drew their attention, and they turned to see Kurenai walking toward them at a brisk pace, her face a mask of professionalism.

"Kurenai, what…" Tsunade started.

"Hokage-sama, Uchiha Sasuke has left the village. I don't think he's planning on returning again."

* * *

AN: Thanks go to JohnnyG for his invaluable help proofing another chapter. As you can see, there isn't an omake for this chapter. May have to do two to make up for it in the next chapter.

I have nothing relevant to say, but I have an observation. I watched the second Naruto movie and it has become apparent to me that Sakura kicks ass. This is the second movie where she has shown me that she may have been getting short changed in the anime and manga. The disparity in screen time and action scenes is staggering. It doesn't help much in this story, but with my others it has helped me look at her in a new light. Don't get me wrong she's still annoying, and she's managed to turn into Rinoa 2.0 someow. Change Sasuke for Heero and wallah, you have ninja fighting Gundam pilots. But I can appreciate her a lot more for some reason.


	8. Act II 04: Ah! The End of His Childhood

**Ah! My Naruto**

By Gmusick

**Act II: Chapter 04 – Ah! These Are the Last Days of a Troubled Childhood**

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer.

Naruto looked down at the prone form of his teammate and felt absolutely nothing. It was a strange sensation to feel because of the wide range of emotions he had went through during this entire ordeal, from the early morning debriefing to this very moment where Sasuke lay before him unconscious. Despite his words from earlier, Naruto had really been worried for Sasuke. There was no doubt in his mind that Sasuke was making a huge mistake, one that would cost him dearly. So he left with good intentions, wanting to return someone he considered a friend for all the good reasons.

But that seemed so long ago now.

Being nearly killed by your supposed best friend often brought a profound change in perspectives.

So instead of holding back like he would have done, Naruto unleashed the full power of the Ransengan, the move being powerful enough to blow Sasuke into the mountain hard enough to knock him unconscious.

After making sure Sasuke was still breathing, Naruto now stood over the battered Uchiha struggling with himself.

What to do now?

There were some very dark thoughts surfacing in his mind, the Kyuubi, telling him to just rid himself of the nuisance right now. And Naruto would be lying if he didn't see the pros to that choice.

Kakashi's own word's labeled those people who left their friends or betrayed them as trash. What did that make Sasuke then if he was willing to kill one of his own? If he was willing to give up everything to follow a pipe dream? What could be lower than trash?

But he wouldn't succumb to the demon inside him. His mission was to return Sasuke, and he was going to do that. Let Tsunade decide what to do with him.

Drenched to the bone from the rain, Naruto started to bend down and pick Sasuke up to make the long trudge back to Konoha when he could hear the soft footsteps of someone approaching from behind. Adrenaline still coursing through his veins, Naruto grabbed a kunai and turned around to face his guest, his body seemingly in a relaxed stance.

"That was an impressive display Naruto-kun. I didn't think you stood a chance against Sasuke-kun."

Naruto blinked the rain out of his eyes, his vision blurrier than normal, leaving him wondering if his stamina finally fled him for the first time in a long time. "What are you doing here?"

Calmly walking across the waters, Kabuto had the same smug grin on his face he always had when Naruto saw him. "It doesn't take a genius to figure that question out."

Naruto firmly clamped down on the need to growl out his frustration at everyone treating him like a moron. "Since you're working for that asshole snake-clown, I'm guessing you're here to take Sasuke."

"You are correct. Now if you would kindly step away I can leave without any problems arising between the two of us."

Naruto eyed the glasses-wearing shinobi warily, watching as Kabuto never stopped in his forward progression towards Sasuke.

"You're not going to get him," Naruto said.

Kabuto pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "You have no power in this decision. You beating Sasuke was a surprise, but nothing more. Don't think I won't kill you Naruto-kun, it is within my power."

Naruto frowned at the barb, not taking too kindly to being threatened. "Last time I checked I beat you Kabuto, so you shouldn't get too cocky." Giving Kabuto the old one-finger salute, Naruto said, "And if you still want to fight then…"

"I see your mouth is still as crass and loose as ever. I will remedy that."

Taking a step to line himself in front of Sasuke, Naruto's voice dropped down to an almost silent growl. Despite how tired he was, he wasn't going to allow this mission his friends fought so hard for to fail. "Whatever you're planning then, forget about it. I'm taking him back home… now."

Kabuto made a slight shift in his motions, before saying, "You have grown overconfident, Naruto-kun. That will be your downfall."

Naruto sunk into a slight stance, kunai held at the ready. "Just try me."

Naruto was ready, tensing and allowing his senses to go into full alert. That still didn't prepare him for the speed Kabuto displayed when he raced across the intervening distance, suddenly appearing in front of Naruto's face. There was a split second he had to raise a defense when Kabuto released a savage blow into his sternum that sent him flying backwards.

Trying to control his momentum, Naruto back-flipped mid-skid and righted himself, planting his feet of the rolling water.

Kabuto didn't give him time to mount a defense

The silver haired medic-nin was immediately upon Naruto using a complex order of blows to get through Naruto's defenses. His body too tired to respond properly, Naruto could only brace himself for the blows to lessen the damage.

The tactic only worked in the slimmest forms, but then Kabuto began using the Shosen Jutsu to methodically cut off the use of Naruto's arms. Not able to defend himself properly, Naruto could only watch as Kabuto pulled his arm back, his hand glowing in the color of his chakra, and plunged it into his right shoulder.

Screaming from the agonizing pain, Naruto never saw the palm strike to his temple that sent him into the mountainside.

His face painfully collided with the jutting rocks, Naruto could feel his consciousness skipping away. He tried to marshal his power, tried to pull on reserves that were drained drier than the deserts surrounding the Hidden Sand.

It was not to be.

His body was taxed to its limit, never having wielded the formidable power of the Kyuubi to such an extent. The Kyuubi itself, slinked to whatever corner it went to when it wasn't bothering him. Naruto thought that a life and death struggle, one he was losing, would bring the malicious beast out of hiding again.

He guessed the Kyuubi wasn't the giving type. Saving his life once was probably his limit for the week.

Naruto slumped unto the ground, his body finally giving out at the worst moment. Before the black claws of unconsciousness took hold of him, Naruto made a silent plea of forgiveness to his friends for letting them down.

Kabuto slowly walked forward, the grin on his face disappearing in an eye blink. Any trace of humor fled his facial expression, changing his demeanor into something entirely different. The reason was the blonde child laying face first in the rocks.

True, the first time they fought Kabuto committed a terrible crime in underestimating him. The Ransengan Naruto used on him nearly destroyed him, and if not for his ability to heal his wounds almost instantly he would be dead.

But now Naruto was becoming a nuisance, one that if given enough time to grow would cause an untold amount of trouble for him and Orochimaru-sama. It would serve their best interest if he killed him now.

It was a pity though. Naruto was blessed with a gift he had no idea how to harness. It brought to mind the question of what would have happened had someone more capable of utilizing its power had been chosen. Perhaps Sasuke would have been an interesting choice.

Ah well, you had to play with the hand fate dealt you.

"You were an interesting diversion Naruto. I hope you and the Kyuubi have a nice afterlife."

Kabuto formed a blade with his hand, charging it with chakra and pulled his arm back once again for the killing blow.

"I would stop if I were you."

Kabuto whirled around to locate his attacker and found nothing. He turned to his left, then right, still not locating the voice.

"Up."

Kabuto listened and looked up, his jaw dropping of their hinges and eyeballs round as saucers.

Haku stood on nothing but air several feet above ground. From the smirk on his face he rather enjoyed Kabuto's shocked expression. "I would use this time to carry the traitor to his appointed home, Kabuto."

He was unaware of his body complying without conscious thought, but he did as told. Kabuto walked passed the unconscious Naruto and hefted Sasuke in a fireman's carry. Pausing, he looked up to see if he was seeing things.

"I'm still here."

Kabuto didn't move, only asking, "Who are you?"

"Someone that has a vested interest in Naruto-kun's life."

Kabuto smirked. He was unnerved but he was smart, and anything he could gleam from whoever this guy was, the better the report he could give to Orochimaru. "You're just going to let me walk away?. There is always a catch to these kind of deals."

"You're right," Haku's smile was as sinister as it was glowing. "You leave now or I will kill you where you stand. A simple enough job."

Kabuto knew when enough was enough. Tipping his head, he beat a hasty exit leaving Haku and Naruto as the only two in the immediate area. Haku slowly lowered himself to the craggy ground.

"You made a good showing for yourself."

"Why didn't you save him," Naruto asked in a raspy whisper, his body unmoving..

If Haku was surprised by Naruto returning to consciousness so quickly he didn't look like it. "Uchiha Sasuke is not my problem."

Naruto growled, his exhausted body failing to move as he wanted it to. "If you were so concerned about my welfare then you knew getting Sasuke back was most important."

"In your mind maybe, but the Uchiha has no appeal to me or my goals."

"You're no different than everyone else."

Haku shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe, but you aren't dead. Remember that when you think I have been unjust."

Naruto couldn't move his head. His angry blue eyes staying locked onto the mahogany brown of Haku's.

"I won't work for you."

Haku shrugged again. "We will see. Soon, your enemies will outnumber your allies and what then?. There are things happening behind the scenes you are not privy to. But I see my help is not wanted. Very well, I will see you another time when you are in a better temperament."

In a swirl of robes, his long hair trailing after him, Haku turned to walk away. Naruto wanted to ask where the little girl was, but he couldn't. His vision was darkening again and this time he didn't try to fight. The objective was lost, and there was no telling what happened to the others. Hopefully, Tsunade sent backup or he was going to be here for a while. He always was a hard sleeper.

* * *

For the first time in a long time, Urd didn't have the slightest urge to drink. It may sound ridiculous, but sake was her source of power when she was away from Heaven, giving her a new view on the words 'alcohol dependence'. It didn't bother her as much as it should. With Naruto always yapping about ramen, and Morrigan with her love of dango, why should it? But everyday since coming here there was a filled saucer with her name on it. An interesting point when she considered she hadn't touched a single jug the entire day today.

When someone you knew was in a hospital room a couple of feet away from you recovering from a mission gone bad, drinking seemed to be the last thing on her mind.

She didn't know all the details, no one was really around long enough to explain what happened, but it must have been bad. Earlier, when a chuunin came to send word of their return, detailing the visual condition of all of the team members, Tsunade and Shizune ran to the hospital to tend to the injured. Both Kurenai and Morrigan, who took the guise of Anko again, left to gather information. Urd had trailed after Tsunade and Shizune, locating the hospital by proxy from the inordinate amount of commotion around the place. That was several hours ago, and Urd had not heard anything else about what happened.

That left her with little to do, and what looked like an endless amount of time on her hands as she waited for word that she could go inside the room and actually see Naruto for herself.

With so little to do, she did use her time to take note of the people bustling around her. During the last year she had made it one of her points to learn about the people Naruto placed his life on the line for when he went on those missions.

Sitting next to Shikamaru was an older man who he resembled too well to be anything but his father, and the pig-tailed girl she remembered from the chuunin exam. They were having a conversation that from the looks on their faces must be pretty serious, the deduction was made all the easier from seeing the tears running down Shikamaru's face.

That confused her. Not the sight of Shikamaru shedding tears, but the point behind them per se. No matter how you looked at it, or what title of importance you gave them, they were training these kids to become powerful killers.

Urd was old enough to know the ways of the world. She had seen civilization in its infancy, before technology even began to take root in the world, but she was never a part of it. Always on the outside looking in, unless she was manning a station at the Goddess Relief Hotline, but even then her contact was left to a spectator role. It was a world of difference when someone you cared for was part of the chaos.

Even her time on Earth with her sisters and Keiichi, there was never any real contact with violence of the scope of what transpired on a daily basis in this world. The Mizuki betrayal, the mission to the Wave country, Orochimaru's invasion, the list could go on and on. In one year, Urd had witnessed all of this.

Sometimes she wondered how her sisters would have handled living in this world. Skuld would be easy to figure out. Even with her penchant for violence, her youngest would not be able to handle it. She wasn't short changing Skuld, her time on Earth helped her grow in ways Urd would not have thought possible if she had stayed in Heaven. But Skuld was still a child, with a child's mind and Urd would not be able to live knowing that being sent here warped her into something else, because that's what it would do.

Battling Mara was all fun and games, but never once did Urd fear for her life. There was always a surreal, out of body feel to whatever scheme she was pulling. There was none of that feeling here in this world.

During the invasion, when the stadium was being overrun by enemies, the killing intent and bloodshed she felt from everyone in attendance made her pause for just a second, and had the horrendously dressed Gai not saved her she wouldn't be here today. Urd did not want her sister going through anything like that. Her destiny was such that it would happen sooner or later, but the longer she could enjoy the lifestyle she had the better.

Belldandy. Urd had to think about that. People took Bell's cheery personality to assume she was a brain-dead bimbo, but that was far from the truth. She was naïve to a degree Urd could admit, but what people failed to see was the steel that lined her heart. Belldandy had the patience of the Almighty himself, but there was only so far one could push her before trouble came.

A fact many people did not know was that her sister was offered a job to become one of the Almighty's three holy Valkyries, but fighting was and probably would never be in Bell's blood. She would rather heal the world through words, putting herself in the line of fire to prove that violence was not the only way to solve a problem. If Urd had to pick a particular reason, that would be the one as to why her sister would loathe to be sent to this world. Everything revolved around violence in some way, shape, or form.

And what would she do when faced with Naruto's plight. By the time Urd was situated in his life, trying to convince him to give up being a shinobi was an impossible task. After years of mistreatment it wasn't only a way to prove his worth, Urd agreed for the simple fact it helped him learn how to defend himself. What would Bell have done when he retold stories of the fights where he could easily lose his life? What would she have done when he was sent to retrieve his friend who was dead set on spitting in the face of all the people who pretty much bent over backwards to accommodate him?

The Almighty always said that everything happens for a reason, and Urd was forced to agree. Both her sisters were happily living their lives on Earth, and she wouldn't have it any other way. Urd was never the saving the world type, but her family meant _everything_ to her.

Maybe that's why she was having trouble banking the slow embers of anger she just now realized were roiling inside her. Naruto meant a lot to her, and not with the little brother affection she always showered on him. She had watched him for years in Heaven, keeping a close eye on him, crying when his life looked like it couldn't get any worse, getting angry when the villagers would lash out at him for nothing, and loving him when it looked like no one else did. Before Urd spoke a single word to him she knew him better than anyone else could ever hope to, and after a year of living with him nothing he did lessened her feelings an iota.

Before Morrigan's proclamation of claiming him, she had wanted to wait and let him grow up before asserting her own claim, but it seemed she would have to step up her efforts. She wouldn't put anything by that woman, she was a succubus after all, and they were not known for their chastity or their ability to play by the rules.

Running a hand through her platinum hair, Urd arched her back to stretch her muscles, the action throwing her assets into stark detail in the front of her white blouse, sending one of the male nurses colliding into a wall.

"I wish you wouldn't do that. God knows we are already undermanned."

Urd looked up at Tsunade's face and it was easy to see how tired the woman was from appearances alone. "Are you okay?"

Tsunade walked over and took a seat next to the Goddess, slumping in the chair as soon as she sat down. "I'm a lot more tired than I should be, but I'll make it. The good thing is everyone seems to be okay and recovering."

"You sound exhausted. What happened?"

Tsunade rotated her neck to get out the creaks that lodged themselves from so much work. "I'm a lot stronger than I was a few days ago. I had to make a conscious effort to hold back when using my chakra for several of my techniques. It's been so long since I've had to make a any kind of effort to compartmentalize my power it took a little more work than necessary."

Urd blinked, slowly opening her mouth and closing it again.

"I know. Shocked me too. After all this is done I'm going to have to practice and see just how much stronger I am now. It could be a problem if I don't test and see just what my limits are."

Urd looked slightly unsettled at the thought, leaning closer so she could whisper in Tsunade's ear. "Do you think the Kyuubi has something to do with it?"

Tsunade released a shrug and sigh at the same time. "I don't know. I still haven't done any tests so I can't give an honest answer. I do know my chakra reserves have more than doubled, and I'm able to channel a lot more chakra so that means my pathways have widened as well."

"It sounds like you came out good to me," Urd said.

"Yes and no… we'll see." Standing up, Tsunade smoothed out the wrinkles in her shirt, and gave a heartfelt smile. "Enough about me, you want to see Naruto right?"

"YES," Urd almost shouted in answer.

"Last time I checked up on him he was awake and complaining about the food, a small miracle considering how he looked when he came in here," Tsunade said with a frown.

"… What happened?"

Tsunade gave a discreet glance around, before ushering Urd to follow her. "Naruto gave me a cliff-note version of what happened so I'll tell you on the way."

Urd took that to mean something beyond the ordinary happened, so she followed, remaining close by so Tsunade's voice didn't carry.

* * *

Kurenai listened as Naruto enthusiastically regaled her and Anko with his vivid reprisal of his numerous battles in the past several hours. Even if she thought he was exaggerating a bit during some parts, his story did have her rapt attention. The amount of explosions and super-powered jutsu's alone made it seem like a recount of an action movie he had recently seen.

"And then I did the Kage Bushin and there were hundreds of me in the field, but that Kimimaro guy was really good. He had swords that were made out of his bones and wam, bam, slash, all of them were gone. He was good, but he didn't scare me one bit."

There was a sparkle in Anko's eyes when she asked, "Why not?"

Naruto flashed her a million dollar grin. "Because I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm going to be the most powerful shinobi ever."

"Someone certainly did do a number on you though," Anko parroted, looking at the heavy bandages wrapped over his right shoulder.

"Yeah, well… That crap happens sometimes when you're ambushed."

Kurenai looked at Anko to see if the woman knew what he was talking about. "Ambushed?"

Anko nodded, raising an eyebrow when Naruto tried to silently intimidate her to stay quiet. "You came in after he told both Tsunade and I the story, but the gist of it is he beat Sasuke and before he could bring him in for punishment Kabuto fought him and got Sasuke to take back to Orochimaru. Apparently Kabuto caught him by surprise and would have killed him"

"What stopped him?" Kurenai asked.

"Haku showed up."

Some part of Kurenai would always wonder if she would be one step behind in understanding what was always going on concerning Naruto. "I don't get it."

"You're not the only one," Tsunade snorted as she came through the door with Urd in tow.

Urd made her way to the bed, taking Naruto's hand into hers when she made her way to his side. "Are you okay?"

Naruto smiled at her open concern, feeling a little big headed there were so many people, mainly women, who were concerned about his well-being. "I'm okay. I'll be okay in a couple of hours. Plus I…"

Naruto stopped talking when he felt Urd's lips press against his forehead. He looked up, and was immediately caught in the beautiful, green-eyed gaze of the Goddess. There was such a wealth of emotions in her eyes Naruto was left speechless.

"You keep making me worry about you, I'm going to have wrinkles," Urd whispered, letting her eyes express everything she wouldn't allow herself to say otherwise.

For a short time the two could only see each other, a poignant moment that anyone with eyes could see. Fortunately, or unfortunately there were two other women in the room who held a high amount of interest in the only male in attendance.

"Wow Urd," Anko's voice was too sweet sounding to be anything but a sign of trouble. "You kissed him in the same spot Kurenai did."

Urd reeled back, looking at Kurenai who tried to quietly inch her way toward the door.

"Did she now?." Urd's narrowed eyes searched Naruto's forehead like a fine tooth comb, scouring his skin until she could see the faint outline of what looked like lip gloss. "You weren't going say anything, were you Naruto?."

"What am I supposed to say? Tsunade has kissed me on the forehead before. Morrigan even kissed me right here the other day," Naruto said, pointing to the right corner of his mouth.

Anko ran a hand down her face to shield herself from the glares shot her way. _'Not only is he a loud mouth, but he can't keep a secret to save his life.'_

Tsunade crossed her arms, the move drawing Naruto's eyes to her considerable vast assets, and the ire of the rest of the women. "Care to explain that?"

Refusing to be out-ogled, Anko adopted the same look, flipping open her trench-coat, crossing her arms, and arching her back at just the right angle to draw Naruto's eyes from Miss Cow-Boobs and to her. "I caught him before he went off on his mission and gave him a good luck charm. Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

Urd's personality was such that she refused to lose to either woman. Mimicking the posture of both Anko and Tsunade, Urd's smile was positively smug as Naruto's eyes drifted back to her, where they were supposed to be in her less than humble opinion. "I think it's wrong considering how young he is." She took a deep breath, smiling as Naruto's eyes followed the bouncing motion. "Young children nowadays are so impressionable."

The three women continued their game of seeing who could get Naruto to look at them the longest, and Kurenai was the only that noticed something wrong with that. Stepping past the three, she walked, got and wet a washrag in the basin. Stepping up to the red faced, and shocked Naruto, Kurenai bent over to cool his heating face and wash a small trail of blood running from his nose.

The action of her bending over did little to alleviate the problem for Naruto, only adding to it in fact. Naruto had a clear look down the front of Kurenai's top.

There were only a handful of people that ever had the pleasure of seeing Kurenai in the buff, all of them female and family members. Because of her developing figure when she was younger, her mother had her use wraps to bind her chest, it was a practice she continued to do until this very day.

The fates decided to have a little fun today because in her hurry to help this morning, she forgot her wrappings, leaving her bare to Naruto's eyes. Allowing him a look that hundreds of thousands of men worldwide would give the life savings for. However, Naruto was just a thirteen-year-old boy who still hadn't had his first real kiss. The effect was a geyser of blood blasting from his nose, knocking his head against the headboard, and easing him into blissful unconsciousness.

Kurenai ignored the blood that was soaked into her clothing, and turned her head to see three really, _really_ annoyed women glaring at her. "Oops."

* * *

The entire village was still reeling from the invasion, their numbers were lower than usual, and everyone had to work twice as hard to keep the village running at the usual standard. It didn't do much other than work their remaining forces to the bone, but they needed to appear strong and capable or they would become prime suspects for one of the other major villages coming to finish them off.

After a tiring day of dealing with twice the workload, Kurenai just wanted to take a nice long bath and take an even longer nap. On second thought, maybe she should stop and see if Naruto was out of the hospital now. Tsunade-sama kicked them out of the hospital yesterday so she didn't know his situation. To add insult to injury, her clothing was ruined, the white wrap ensemble used to be her favorite outfit, but with the amount of blood it soaked up it was nearly impossible to get all of it out.

She would have to see if Taro-san could make another one. It cost an arm and a leg to have it made, but it was one of her little presents to herself. Her little wardrobe looked empty without the piece.

"But I do need to get a new weapons pouch. My regular one is starting to fray a bit around the edges."

"Talking to yourself is never a good sign," a distinctly male voice chuckled.

Kurenai turned around. "Asuma? You surprised me."

"You looked like you were in deep thought. I think anyone could have."

Kurenai gave a lighthearted shrug. "True. Are you going anywhere in particular?"

"Not really. I'm taking a short break right now. Ino and Shikamaru are burned out. I think the two of them have worried over Chouji so much that working them now would be pointless."

Kurenai nodded, turning back toward her original path. "You can walk with me then. I was going to see if Naruto was out of the hospital yet."

Because she was turned away from him, Kurenai never saw the slight frown appear on Asuma's face or the way his body tensed up at the mention of the Kyuubi container.

"You have been spending a lot of time with him."

Kurenai didn't pick up on the subtle hint. "Not really him. I spend almost all the time talking to Anko and Urd more than anyone else. In the short time I've known them I think we have become good friends."

"Hmm…" Despite himself, Asuma was really interested in wanting to know what the kids life was like, he just never wanted to spend the effort to find out himself. "What really goes on around there?"

"Nothing as risqué as the stories sound," Kurenai said with a chuckle. "Naruto doesn't own his own harem, and he doesn't practice black magic. He's just a regular kid who has had a harder than normal life."

Asuma let them walk in silence for a moment, passing the shattered sectors of the village. He took a slow drag of his cigarette and asked, "You want to go on a date?"

Kurenai barely stopped herself from tripping over her own feet. "What?"

"Well…" Asuma rubbed his chin, suddenly becoming interested in the color of the house beside them. "I haven't seen you around lately and I wanted to spend some time with you."

Kurenai couldn't help the smile that came at his shy admission. Reaching out to grab his hand, she steadied the rapid patter of her heart, something that always happened when talking to him. "I would love to. When…"

There was a loud crash, drawing the attention of the two jounin and they found the sight of Naruto standing over a male chuunin who was writhing on the ground, grabbing his arm that was twisted at an obscene angle.

* * *

Naruto could hear Sakura trying and failing to keep herself from panicking. He could feel the hatred from the villagers quickly change itself into fear. The exhalation of breath, the slight glean of sweat trickling down their faces, Naruto could feel and hear all of that. But most of all, he was angry.

It was barely twenty-four hours ago he left on a mission to retrieve someone he once considered a friend. He left to bring back an important person to a lot of people. His true friends were hurt, some were brought in clinging to life by a thread, and yet there were people who felt the need to prove to him he would never be good enough in their opinion. With everything that happened, treating Naruto like shit was a number one priority in a lot of people's minds.

Too bad Naruto didn't feel like being anyone's punching bag anymore.

Naruto shook his head, making a small tutting sound with his tongue. "You made a big mistake man. I don't take too kindly to people trying to kill me nowadays. When one of your friends shoves a Chidori through your chest, and then breaks your neck with a hellified pile-driver, it gets tiring real fast."

Sakura gasped, no doubt figuring out who he was talking about.

"So that leaves me with the problem with you." Naruto quirked his lips, tapping his chin in thought. "If I don't do something to you, more people will keep trying now that someone had the balls to try." Blowing out a breath in disappointment, Naruto really looked like he was having a hard time deciding what to do. "I thought the murder attempts had stopped after I got in the Academy, but I guess I was wrong."

"Naruto, please stop," Sakura whispered. Now she was truly scared with no idea what to do. First Sasuke left the village, now Naruto was acting like a completely different person. She had thought the scene in the hospital was an aberration, but his words were too full of anger to be anything but the truth. She suddenly thought about their confrontation in his hospital room the other day.

**Flashback**

Sakura opened the curtains, letting the sun into the room. The action also helped her clear her head. She overheard Naruto talking to Shikamaru, and was scared if she opened her mouth to try and speak the tears would start and they would never stop.

"I guess you overheard, huh?" Naruto asked.

Sakura spun around startled. She hadn't thought Naruto could tell she was outside his door.

"My senses are still running haywire. Your perfume is strong enough to give me a headache." Naruto smiled when she made a motion of trying to sneak and sniff herself. "It's not bad, just strong."

Sakura was at a loss as to what to say. She didn't know what she had come in here suspecting, but Naruto making fun of her was not it. It made her uncomfortable, because their teammate, someone she loved, was gone and he acted like nothing was wrong.

There were tears in her eyes, and her voice was raw from the hurt in her heart. "Why are you smiling? Sasuke-kun is gone and you are acting like you don't care."

Tsunade was about to reprimand the girl, but Naruto held up his hand to hold her off.

Naruto made sure he was looking Sakura in the eye, and when he spoke, his voice was harder than anyone could remember it ever being. "I'm laughing because if I stopped and thought about what happened I'll be pissed. People almost died today, Sakura. Simply because one person decided they got tired of being a good guy and decided to change sides." He almost sneered when she recoiled away from him. "Keep on looking at the world with rose-tinted glasses. The bottom line is Sasuke is a traitor and he went into this situation with his eyes wide open."

Nobody said anything, his words hanging in the air like a heavy fog.

"Make no mistake," Naruto said. "I'm bringing him back, but it won't be because of friendship or brotherhood. He gave that up when he tried his damn best to kill me."

**End Flashback**

Naruto either failed to hear her or wasn't listening. The injured mans howls were almost deafening and no one tried to help him in fear of drawing Naruto's ire toward themselves.

When Naruto didn't move, Sakura tried pleading with him. "Naruto please! He needs help."

"Did you see what happened?" he asked.

Sakura nodded.

"Are you saying I'm wrong for defending myself then?"

Sakura shook her head.

"Well what's the problem?"

There were some things that scared Sakura, but Naruto was never one of them. But the look he was giving her frightened her more than anything. It was an unfamiliar feeling when associated with her loudmouth teammate. But Naruto hadn't been loud in a long time, spending more time with those female friends of his than his teammates. Before seeing him in the hospital, Sakura could not remember the last time the two of the spoke to each other one on one, and now he was a different person than what she remembered.

Was this the beginning of the end for team seven?

"Naruto?"

Sakura looked up and saw Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei coming toward them. She thanked whatever gods existed that someone was coming to help, because no one else was going to.

"What is going on here?" Asuma asked after kneeling down and checking over the man's injuries.

"He attacked me, I defended myself, end of story."

Kurenai watched Asuma check the man over for further injuries. It was easy to see the swelling in his arm, the area was distorting in color, turning a slight purple. Kurenai initial thoughts weren't of the attack, it was the amount of force Naruto used to fight back. His assailant was of chuunin rank, so he was well trained, but the injury made it look like the male had no time to mount any kind of defense.

"Naruto, you used an excessive amount of force."

"Yes. He tried to kill me. I think you two keep overlooking that fact."

Kurenai hadn't known Naruto personally in his earlier days, but she remembered hearing whispered conversations about attempts on his life. The very idea that someone would commit a crime against what had then been just a small child seemed incredulous, but Kurenai personally knew about the horrors people could willingly commit. Wwhen spurned by their own desires.

Glancing around she could see the people were still watching the scene, the fear still present in some, but she could sense the emotion quickly fading away and something scarily approaching hatred taking root. If they lingered, Kurenai could see a riot happening and with all of the other problems Konoha faced, it didn't need any internal conflict.

"Asuma, take him to the hospital, I'll walk Naruto home to make sure nothing else happens." He opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off with a glare that would melt steel. A look Asuma had never seen on her face in his entire time of knowing her. "Don't argue, just go."

He gave a tight nod, hefting the young man in his arms and taking off toward the hospital. Kurenai turned to Sakura, and snapped her fingers to get Sakura to focus on her. "There is nothing you can do right now. I would advise you to head home and rest. If we need you we will come and get you for questioning, it all depends on the Hokage's order."

Sakura looked as if she too was going to argue, but the look on Kurenai's face was enough of a sign that her opinion was not needed at the moment. Leaving the two with a smile that lacked any of the warmth she was customarily known for.

Naruto watched her and felt like a heel. Before he could stop himself from thinking too much, Naruto tried to be the friend he hadn't been in a long time.

"Sakura," he called out.

He waited till she turned around, and tried to make himself smile the way he use to at her, before there were Goddesses, Demonesses, and Hokage's who looked thirty years younger.

"We'll get him back. Friends help each other even when the other person doesn't want it," he paused for a second. "right?"

This time she did smile, and though it didn't carry the luster it used to, it was better than her earlier attempt. "Right. Next time we'll do it together."

"Do you really believe you can bring him back," Kurenai asked as Sakura left the area.

"I don't even know if _I_ want him back, but she does and that's what matters. Hopefully by the time I come back my opinion will have changed or this is going to be one tough promise to keep."

Kurenai listened and latched onto a certain part of his statement. "Coming back?"

"Oh yeah, I'm leaving with ero-sennin for a three year training trip."

"I think I need to get you home quickly for more than one reason," Kurenai murmured with a sigh.

Naruto was totally oblivious to why she would say something like that. "Why is that?"

"Could you leave here without a word and expect everyone else just to smile and live on."

"Yeah."

"You have an awful lot to learn about women, Naruto."

* * *

Naruto kept his eyes focused on a singular point in the room, trying his best not to look any one person in the eyes. It wasn't the manliest thing to do, ranking behind hiding behind your mother and running from girls, but it helped stave of the inevitable arguments with the eyes everyone was sure to have if he made contact.

Now that he thought about it, how the hell did his decisions have to have a committee to back him up, and when was that committee turned into four women who used his own home as a base of operations.

It didn't make any sense.

And Shizune adding her well meant, but no less damaging remarks, on her perspective wasn't helping his argument.

He knew the old man was a pervert to the nth degree, but did they have so little faith in him not being able to keep himself from falling into the evil clutches of perversion. A strange thought when they had no reservations about wearing anything that popped in their head around the house. He could lay the blame on them for dismantling his various crushes and future views on women.

Looking at the women surrounding him, each one voicing their own opinion about him leaving with, in their words, 'The Perverted-Loaf of a Male,' Naruto had no choice but to agree with Kurenai's earlier point. But no matter how long he lived, he doubted he would be able to understand the female gender.

"I don't see what the problem is. Three years isn't that long and I need the training. Haku, Orochimaru, and the Akatsuki aren't just going to disappear."

"True, but I can give you training as good, if not better than that Jiraiya. You forget, I am a Demoness, royalty in the nether realm. That means I was given the best training possible. I have never forgotten and it can be a gift I will bestow upon you." Morrigan, in all her leather-clad splendor, said. Naruto guessed since he already knew who she was, she had no qualms taking on her true persona around the house.

"Uh…" Naruto couldn't argue with that.

"Be that as it may," Tsunade began. "Even with everything you've told us, Naruto is still a kid and he looks pretty human to me. Jiraiya may be many things I hate, but he is a damn good teacher. His last student is widely known as the best shinobi in Konoha history."

Urd shook her head. "So what. I don't like the idea of Naruto living with someone who peeks into spas and peoples windows to get his rocks off."

"Jiraiya-sama is not a total loss of morality given flesh. He has some good qualities," Shizune said, trying to marshal some support for the man. Why? She would have to decide that answer at a later time.

Morrigan raised a single brow. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

In the following silence Naruto thought he could hear the air blowing through his home. Not a good sign in his book.

An idea hit Kurenai. It wasn't the best argument but it would have to do. "He did help fight off Orochimaru's forces when they attacked during the chuunin exam. If not for him we would not have won."

"That's the best you can come up with," asked Urd with a smirk.

"Well… yeah." Kurenai frowned at her next thought. "Though I despise those books his is known for printing, he is still one of the sannin of Konoha, and my respect is due to such."

"How very… commendable," Morrigan drolled. "But that has nothing to do with this. Gice Give me one reason why I shouldn't be the one teaching him."

"Because it's my decision."

Five pair of eyes found Naruto's hard gaze directed toward the two celestials. "I know you are trying to help, but I've been making my own decisions since I could walk. So lay off, would you."

Morrigan turned her head away and Urd looked slightly ashamed at her actions. Naruto tried to ease the blow of his words by smiling. "Don't get me wrong, it's nice to know someone cares, but… let me do this."

Urd took a deep breath and gave her consent, but Morrigan didn't look convinced.

"Please."

"Whatever. Do what you want."

"Thank you." Stepping away from the table, Naruto popped his back and smiled at everyone present. "Now, what are we eating for dinner? Ero-sennin said we're leaving tonight. I need one more good meal before I go on my three-year ramen eating plan."

That got the required reaction. The noise of everyone talking at once would be a nice parting gift. Something to give him strength of his journey.

* * *

AN: First and foremost thanks to the reviewers for the helpful comments and thoughtful critiques and JohhnyG for proofreading once again. The man is his own living encyclopedia.

That's it for the longest prologue in history I believe. Don't know if I'm wrong, but if I am, it must be pretty damn close. Next chapter the ratings going up to Teen. An older Naruto means older problems, which means a lot of fun ahead. Also, Naruto won't have everyone crawling into his arms. 3 is the lucky number right now ladies and gents. Who are the lucky ladies, you'll have to wait and see.

Well, what to expect? Other than lightly treading after the manga, with the appropriate changes of course, there will be a few side ventures thrown in. Any multi-girl story must have the required onsen and beach vacation chapter's, it wouldn't be one without it. Naruto's kid from the future might show up, who is older than him by 6 years, making all sorts of problems when everyone wants to know who is the mother. Urd's family stops in, her mom and her sisters, causing their own mischief when they realize the situation going on wink, wink. And last but not least, Morrigan returning home when word of a rebellion reaches here, taking Naruto and the gang with her. So you can see, this is only the beginning.

Chapter wise. I think the chapter was named appropriately. Naruto's a good man. With the life he's had I'm surprised he hasn't destroyed the entire village out of spite, making a much more interesting manga. But, he didn't and he's turned out pretty good, however, even he should have a limit to his kindness. Rescuing your friends from making a bad decision concerning their lives is something everyone I hope would do when given the chance, but when that someone actually tries to kill you what then?

I watched the fight maybe ten or eleven times and couldn't believe the ass-kicking Naruto got. If it wasn't for the Kyuubi, does any one think Naruto would have survived? I don't know one person who would have continued to try and bring Sasuke back after that. But Naruto obviously wants to. It's the reason I enjoy reading about his adventures, and loathe his heartbreakingly naïve look at life.

This Naruto's reaction is a little more practical I guess for what it's worth. It's OOC, but John Tannius, one of the great author's here on this sight pointed out unless you're the official author, then everything you write is going to be OOC. That's a pretty good point so I don't feel so bad now lol.

Till next chapter good readers.


	9. Act III 01: Ah! After Three Years

**Ah! My Naruto**

By Gmusick

**Act III: Chapter 01 – Ah! Three Years Is a Lot of Time for Changes**

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer.

The sun was shining down upon the city of Konoha in all of its bright glory. People were milling about. The shinobi of the village ran about fulfilling their various duties, while villagers enjoyed the peace with their family and friends. The birds sounded happier, the grass seemed greener, and the village looked a far cry from what it had been years ago. Buildings that were once nothing but rubble, were rebuilt, and not only that, but the entire populace seemed to have a vibrancy that was sorely missing three years ago.

To Jiraiya, everything made him feel like he was walking toward his meeting with a firing squad. If the news for a certain group of females went over like he thought it would, then this would be the last time he would be able to enjoy the scenery with all his limbs attached.

"Damn kid always causing trouble," he muttered.

It was the truth in his mind. The past three years had been something of a hellish tour of duty. It did little to fix his current problem, but he could not help but think that the Fourth had never given him the problems Naruto brought just by being in his immediate vicinity.

Closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose, Jiraiya knew he was stalling for time, but excuse him if he wanted to keep 'Jiraiya Jr.' attached just a little bit longer.

"Maybe one more peek at a hot spring before I tell them."

The more he thought about it, the better it sounded, and without a second thought about his last actions as a healthy, virile male of the human race, Jiraiya left to commit his favorite act of perversion.

* * *

Tsunade was relaxed, her posture straight, shoulders high, and hands clasped together in front of her face. It was the perfect intimidation position. Anko stood next to her, arms crossed in the flaps of her coat, and there was a look of well-conceived boredom on her face. Too bad for the bruised and beaten Jiraiya who sat in a chair directly in front of Tsunade's desk, looking as if he'd been stampeded by a mob of furious women protesters.

Far from the truth, but spying on Anko in the bath had been a life threatening blunder on his part he would make sure to never repeat. How the woman found him he didn't know, but after the mauling she gave him Jiraiya moved her up his list of women not to piss off unless the situation called for it. But that depended on what they were wearing.

"Now, tell me again, where is Naruto?." Tsunade's voice was deceptively calm, but after long years of friendship Jiraiya could hear the hidden undertones of anger clear in her voice as if she were shouting.

Jiraiya swallowed the lump in his throat,. knowing he was walking on very thin ice at the moment. Getting caught peeking in the bath was bad. But getting caught and then telling them why Naruto was not with him made this a lot more dangerous.

Tsunade's mood swings were legendary and if he played his cards right hopefully, Almighty willing, he would be able to father a child in the near future… hopefully.

"I don't know," he said.

"Hmm..." was all Tsunade said, making a small sweat break out on Jiraiya's forehead. "And how long has he been gone?" Tsunade asked in the same scary, calm voice.

"Six, maybe seven months. But you've got to believe me when I tell you I really did look for him. I would have kept trying but he hasn't left anything to track him by. It's like he's completely disappeared."

"Do you think the Akatsuki or Orochimaru have him?" Anko asked, speaking for the first time during the whole conversation.

Jiraiya shook his head. "I don't think so. I would have received some word from my contacts. The Akatsuki haven't made any major moves yet, and Orochimaru has been strangely silent lately."

"Hmm…"

Tsunade was making that sound again and he was breaking out in an even heavier sweat.

"And the last time you saw him was six or seven months ago. He could be anywhere by now,." Anko said, the first traces of anger entering her voice.

Jiraiya tried to throw some bravado in his voice. "I know he's okay. He is my student and I only train the best."

After listening to Jiraiya, Tsunade stood up from her desk and commanded him to follow her. Somewhat put off by the quick change in the interrogation tactics, Jiraiya automatically followed Tsunade as she walked out the office and then exited the office building. When they began heading into a strikingly familiar part of the village, Jiraiya suddenly felt like ice was being applied to his spine.

"Um… where are we going?" he asked

Tsunade glanced at Anko, and nodded her head for the woman to go on ahead of her. Turning to talk to Jiraiya she said, "I'm going home and you are going to tell the rest of the girls the same story, verbatim, that you told me."

In a spectacular sequence that lasted the barest of seconds, only shinobi of the highest caliber could follow what transpired. Jiraiya blurred a set of hand-seals, intent on laying an illusionary genjutsu to help him get away from Tsunade. But as he tried to vanish, Tsunade used a burst on speed Jiraiya he never knew she possessed and spun around, delivering the most eye-popping, throat-collapsing clothesline in the history of mankind.

Jiraiya's body hit the ground with enough force to create a crater that spread out from his prone position on the ground for several feet in all directions. The people of Konoha ran like their lives depended on it.

Tsunade calmly walked up and placed one heeled foot of Jiraiya's heaving chest. "I take it you will not try something like this again, will you?"

Shedding silent tears of anguish, Jiraiya shook his head and prayed that Naruto was getting just as much hell brought his way as he was getting.

"Now," Tsunade started while easily lifting Jiraiya to her shoulder. "Let's see what the others have to say."

Jiraiya became so unhinged he started crying like a little girl.

* * *

Naruto looked at his new companion and for what felt like the hundredth time since meeting her, wondered just how he always wound up in these kind of situations. Not to say it was bad, but he just wondered why it happened at such an alarming rate. He was never this good at meeting women when he was little and actually tried.

"B.B., I don't know what color has to do with anything."

The young, blonde-haired girl, clad in a pair of red loafers, red dress, and a bright red cloak matching the color of everything she wore, laughed. "Naruto-kun, I really think that fruit is spoiled."

Naruto looked at the apple, frowning at the strange coloring before taking a bite another bite. "I don't taste anything weird about it," he said, talking with a mouth full of food.

B.B. Hood shook her head in silent wonder. "That's because you have probably warped your taste buds from eating all that ramen."

"I doubt it. If fruit was ramen-flavored then there wouldn't be a problem."

B.B. Hood's pearls of laughter washed over him and Naruto took a moment to enjoy the peace while he was able to. Walking across the countryside, picking fights with unruly, renegade ninja, ronin, and his new favorite, minor demons in disguise, wasn't the best way to make friends, but his deeds were contributing to a good cause. It also helped him work through the eons worth of techniques he would idly sort through since the Kyuubi's presence merged with his.

The first timetheir minds merged was the episode where he locked himself into his room. That first time left an undeniable impression that he had not managed to shake off yet. The Kyuubi was shaped, molded into the figure of an animal, but his intellect was all too human. A genius of the highest degree, Naruto recalled the hours he spent conversing with the mammoth beast, wondering how something so smart could be so wicked. It hadn't made any excuses for its actions. The Kyuubi felt no remorse. It fought, and would again if it was unleashed. It was then that Naruto felt the full gravity of the mission that was placed upon him.

The second such instance was the Sasuke battle three years ago. He remembered being held upside down. Descending the mountain at an insane rate of speed, there was a sickening crunch, and then he felt nothing, his body just felt numb. Then the Kyuubi sneered at him, told him in no uncertain terms he was weak, and gave him a taste of what his power had been when he roamed the world. The thrill of so much power at his command, and the nearly overwhelming taint of the Kyuubi itself that was trying to suffocate the life out of him. caused Naruto to feel like he was fighting two battles at once, and it was his determination that pulled him through that time.

The third time was a little more muddled. He had not recalled the incident, but the Kyuubi was all too happy to rekindle his memory as to what happened. The all-consuming rage, the mindless need to destroy everything in his path. This time, his willpower alone had not been enough to hold of the Kyuubi from influencing his mind and actions, and Jiraiya had paid for it.

He came to in a small forest area, surrounded by daisies. Coincidently, that was also where he met B.B. Hood. After spending a couple days getting his bearings and health back in place, his plans were to bid her goodbye and try to find Jiraiya. With a quick glance to his new female sidekick one could guess things did not go exactly as planned.

With a shrug and a smile Naruto figured things could have been a lot worse. He knew she carried her own sort of darkness, but she was nice enough. She smiled, laughed, played practical jokes on their mutual, unsuspecting victims. All in all she was the perfect compliment to him, the king of pranks. If Naruto had not seen her in actual combat, he would have underestimated her and thought she was just a normal girl on her way to deliver cookies to her grandmother.

Naruto looked at the small camp the two of them set up. They were a couple of hours, at most, away from Konoha. He was excited about returning home for a number of reasons. Unconciously, his hand strayed to the pouch stitched into the underside of his shirt to one of the main reasons for him to get home.

There, wrapped in a paper package, was a full spread of nude photos from the Overlord Morrigan herself, in both bodies, Anko and her real form.

He remembered the day he left and the special surprise he got from the green-haired vixen.

**Flashback**

Naruto looked around the room, cataloging everything in his mind and it amazed him how lived in it looked in this one, short year. In his old home there was never any real need to make it look good. He had a bed, a small kitchen, a dresser for his clothes, and an old hand-me-down scroll rack he found in someone's garbage one day.

This room had none of that. Urd had everything he owned in his old home replaced during the year. The first few weeks he had felt like an alien in his own room. But that had not lasted long. It quickly became his refuge to get away from Urd and Morrigan when they started drinking.

And they drank a lot.

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, he went through a mental checklist in his mind, concluding there wasn't anything else he really needed.

"You forgetting something, aren't you?"

Naruto turned around and found Morrigan leaning against his doorframe. "I don't think so. I've packed all the instant ramen I could."

Morrigan smiled, and for some reason it made the hairs on Naruto's neck stand on end.

"I wanted to give you a present before you left. Just a little something to help you remember me on your trip."

She reached out and pressed a medium sized envelope into his hands. "Go ahead and look."

The gift did nothing to alleviate the tingling in the back of his neck. Slowing opening the envelope as if it were a time bomb waiting to go off, he was surprised to see pictures.

Looking up Morrigan could see how confused he was. "Look."

Naruto did look, and boy was it a sight.

She walked toward him and gave him a kiss on the lips, saying, "Those pictures will help you when things get rough."

Naruto was too stunned to notice the kiss, or her walking out his door looking like the cat that got the canary.

**End Flashback**

The pictures were always on his person after a small mishap where Jiraiya had tried to make copies of them for his own collection. The pervert hadn't stopped his continued attempts at stealing them until Naruto promised to tell Anko Jiraiya was planning to write a story about her imagined sexual exploits.

That had stopped him. Everyone knew Anko's borderline psychotic tendencies were nothing to scoff at.

Of course, she wasn't the only one to give him something before leaving. Urd's had been a pleasant surprise, one he looked at with just as much enthusiasm as Morrigan's unique gift.

But the most surprising was Tsunade.

Boy had she given him a wammie of a gift. He had no worldly idea she liked him or thought of him at all other than an annoyance. However, no matter how hard he brushed his teeth he could never compare it to the cleaning she gave him when she slipped her tongue into his mouth.

Lost in his daydream Naruto couldn't stop the dopey grin that came over his face.

"You're being a pervert again."

"Uh…"

B.B. Hood leered suggestively. "Want me to help you fix your problem," she asked, pointing to the burgeoning tent in his pants.

Naruto eeped, hiding the evidence of his arousal behind his hands. B.B.'s laughter was loud enough to fill the entire clearing, and long enough for his embarrassment to reach its full capacity.

This wasn't the first time something like this happened, and to his chagrin, the instances were becoming more and more routine. No matter how much training he did, or how much he tried to ignore the persistent dreams at night of females locked in his passionate embrace, his body still reacted to without his consent. It was irritating and pissed him off to no end.

He wasn't stupid, he knew something was happening to him. The fact that he wasn't the least bit tempted when it came to regular village women, or the average shinobi told him something was wrong. But Morrigan, Tsunade, Urd, and even Kurenai for some reason, all of them were women of power. Urd a Goddess, Morrigan was a Demonesses, and Tsunade? He didn't know the extent that he changed her but she was far from normal now. Reverting someone back thirty years of life was not something that happened on a regular basis. He had no idea why Kurenai cranked his motor. Maybe he should ask her when he got back home.

He was going through that latter stages of puberty, and it was hitting him hard. During the beginning of this trip his mind was focused intently on getting stronger. The visage of Haku towering over him in all his supposed immaculate glory was the fire that stoked him for the first year and a half. But Jiraiya spent as much time being perverted as he did training him and that left Naruto a lot of time with nobody but the psychotic fox and himself for company.

That was bad, because his thoughts would stray from him and he would remember something Morrigan wore, the way Urd looked reclining in his home, or something as inconsequential as Tsunade stretching and his blood would start boiling. His breaths coming up short and his clothes would feel too tight. His senses would become so sharp he could single out a blade of grass meters away from him.

But Naruto never gave in. He would mentally beat himself into submission, flinging himself into his training with even more ferocity. For months he battled with this 'affliction,' and after the incident, when he met the Demoness Lust, that had not helped his problem at all.

Kunoichi with powerful bloodlines caught his eye yes, but they never gave him a reason to pause. It seemed like he was attracted to those who carried a greater power. He knew he was onto something because of the various demonic and heavenly signatures that the women gave off that made it such a hard task to contain himself.

Maybe a little more information was needed to further clarify such a deduction. During this three year trip Naruto learned a lot. He knew he was a lot stronger and smarter, but what Naruto prided himself on was his ability to see beneath the underneath at a level Kakashi, Neji and all of the other eyeball-bloodline carriers wished they could.

After the battle against Sasuke in the valley it was like an internal light bulb had been turned on inside him. When he looked at people, there was always a haze of colors surrounding them. At first he feared his eyes were going bad, or Sasuke had placed some kind of hex on him, but even after having his eyes checked, and finding out they were just fine, the problem still continued.

It was vexing. Some people carried an aura that radiated so much peace and contentment it was almost impossible to look at them fully in the face, or approach them without getting a shiver of panic down his spine. Then there were others whose aura's were so black, Naruto felt his very soul would be devoured if he didn't watch his step. For so long he kept quiet, wondering just what was going on.

The first time he knew he was looking at something other than human was one year ago. Both he and Jiraiya were tired of sleeping on the hard dirt and decided to stop being cheap and get a hotel for a couple of days. Walking through one of the many villages they visited during the trip, Naruto really didn't think too much of the people. They ran into so many, most of them angry women chasing after Jiraiya, that they just became a single face in a kaleidoscope of many.

But that ground to a halt when they walked into the hotel they chose. Seated at one of the tables was a female demon. There weren't any black wings or a set of horns adorned on top of her head. She resembled a normal person, in a dress that looked grafted onto her skin, having a normal conversation. He didn't know how long he stood there, but his shock at recognizing the Demoness rooted him to the spot. And when the female demon looked at him, Naruto knew she recognized him.

It had to be on of the most bizarre moments Naruto ever remembered experiencing.

The Demoness never spoke, never approached him or attempted any contact. Just sat in her chair and resumed her previous actions after giving him a saucy wink. After that, the light bulb that had been turned on earlier was now turned into a megawatt headlight. The Kyuubi said that it was just one of the many gifts he would be given by utilizing his power. Naruto didn't know if he would call it a gift. It opened his eyes to something he sometimes thought he would be better off not knowing.

There was a silent war going on in this world. One Heaven and Hell were waging under the cover of regular people and the world as a whole had no idea they were being used.

'Soon, your enemies will outnumber your allies and what then? There are things happening behind the scenes you are not privy to.'

Those were Haku's words the last time he saw him three years ago and it was the honest truth. He had not known, and now that he did, he wondered to what extent were the two realms were controlling everything. There were just too many recent happenings for anything to be a coincidence, but until he found evidence grasping at theories was as futile as looking for a needle in a haystack.

"Now you're daydreaming. Are you ever going to talk to me today?"

Coming out of his internal thoughts, Naruto looked at his new friend. Was she here because of an assignment? Was her meeting him not by chance but programmed circumstance?

Naruto did not want to make a habit out of doubting every person he met. Despite her demonic nature, Morrigan was a prime example of going against the perceived nature of Heavens other half. Naruto really did not believe in either place before his life took the strange turn it did.

"Just thinking about stuff."

B.B. Hood said nothing, realizing her time for teasing him was gone in the face of his seriousness. "Are you okay?"

The small smile on Naruto's face wasn't one of his classics. "Yeah. Just realizing how far I've come in such a short time."

"From what you told me you weren't bad in the first place, merely untrained."

Naruto nodded. "True, but I guess now I have a focus I didn't have before. I feel like I've been living with blinders on my whole life and now I don't know what to do."

"You just do what comes natural to you. Thinking too much makes you second-guess yourself. I prefer to live in the moment."

Naruto really did smile then. "You know what, you're right. Thinking too much is for old fogies and people like Shikamaru." Walking over a giving the girl a quick hug, Naruto pulled back and said, "I'm ready to go now. Let's get home so I can let you meet all my friends."

B.B. Hood kissed him on the cheek, laughing as his face reddened. "You lead the way, sir."

"On to Konoha," the two youths shouted at the same time.

* * *

Jiraiya was old. He was approaching his mid fifties and looked rather good for his age, he thought. He was spry, though not as strong as he used to be, he could still wipe the floor with all but a handful people. His literary works were known worldwide by males starving for his knowledge of the carnal arts. He was a celebrity in some parts of the world, and his bank account was quite hefty. He'd seen more naked female flesh than most hot bath's saw in their lifetime.

With all that said, Jiraiya would give it all up if he could just get out of this house. The place was a hormonally unbalanced deathtrap.

"I say we castrate him."

Morrigan watched Jiraiya's face go white in fright. Too bad she wasn't laughing.

Tsunade shook her head. The idea was funny to think, but she wasn't angry enough to resort to such drastic measures yet. "Calm down. The first order of business would be to keep this to ourselves. If anyone finds out Naruto is running around on his own there will be problems. I had to almost literally pull the council's arm in order for them to let him leave on this trip of his."

There were a number of nods around the table agreeing with her decision. "Secondly, we need to wait."

Tsunade stopped anyone from interrupting with a headshake. "I know you want to run off and find him, but can you really do a better job than Jiraiya?. He said he was searching the last few months and that means two possibilities exist. Either he was captured or he really did manage to evade Jiraiya's senses."

"Just how much better did he get? I don't think I believe him capable of evading one of the sannin," Kurenai said, her face in a small frown.

Urd helped her see the one reason why such logic was wrong when regarding Naruto. "It's entirely possible. Naruto is a prankster, and that makes him able to evade even the best trackers. I remember seeing him being hounded by chuunin's, jounin's, and ANBU, and nobody caught him on a regular basis."

"Where would he go though? He hasn't been out the village proper except for a few missions outside the gates."

Reaching over and snagging an apple from the fruit bowl on the table, Urd bit into the fruit and took a swallow after chewing it in thought. "We've told you about Naruto's special circumstances. No doubt he would be a little curious to see the world."

Jiraiya, for once glad that the attention was not focused on him solely, ruminated over the strange mix of women that lived in his student's life. There was a beautiful platinum-haired Goddess, a sultry neon-green-haired Demoness, his former teammate was thirty years younger, as well as stronger and faster than he ever remembered her being in her prime, her black-haired apprentice talked about Naruto like he was her own little brother, and then there was the red-eyed kunochi.

How the hell Naruto ended up blessed with such feminine beauty caring for him Jiraiya didn't know. Maybe he should try that telephone thing. If a hottie like Urd came through for a squirt like Naruto, someone of his mighty stature should get the greatest woman ever given flesh.

It worked in theory that is.

No matter how many fake numbers he dialed he still couldn't get that Goddess Sex Line. Maybe Urd had pulled his leg.

Before he and Naruto left on their training trip, Tsunade had pulled him aside and told him _everything_. Like any other person told there were real angels and demons running around, he had not believed a word she said. Then the two of them began a magic act that Jiraiya could not begin to explain in known terms.

'_Good to know that at fifty plus years old I'm still learning new things,'_ Jiraiya thought with a slight chuckle.

"Do you think he ran away because of what happened to Jiraiya-sama?" Shizune asked.

Tsunade shrugged her shoulders, "Probably. From what we know the change hasn't happened again or else we would have received word by now. Kind of hard not to notice a rampaging demon tearing through villages." Frowning when a new thought came to her, "I'm sure you have heard the rumors of a hero going around the country and lending aid whenever someone is in need. That could be him."

Morrigan snorted. "Sounds like something he would do."

"I thought that as well. The problem is if it is him, he helps, then takes off before anyone can really get a good description of him. I can say that he's still in the Fire Country."

Urd rolled her eyes. "Great help you've been so far Jiraiya. Why it's like you never lost him in the first place."

"Hey," Jiraiya tried to look genuinely hurt by her comments. "It's not like I did it on purpose. Sometimes it's hard to work when you got a bleeding wound in your stomach the size of someone's head."

Despite his earlier story of him being fatally wounded, Morrigan waved the mention of his away. "It comes with the territory. What is more troubling is Naruto's loss of control. We will need to find a solution for him… quickly," she strongly emphasized.

Shizune tilted her head, wondering at Morrigan's wording. "Wouldn't he just need to practice more self-control? Or since the fourth's seal is weakening won't we just need to reinforce the seal?"

Morrigan shook her head no, drawing interested expressions from everyone present at the table except for Urd who knew of the point she was going to make. "That is a good question but there are some problems with the implied solution. First of all, your Hokage was human. It was an admirable feat he accomplished stopping the Kyuubi, but he had only so much power to draw upon internally and the seal weakening was inevitable. Tsunade, if you would."

With a short nod, Tsunade rolled back the sleeves of her long shirt, taking off the hand guards that were strapped to her wrists to reveal seals on both her right and left hand.

"There are seals on her feet, hands, hips, and the base of her neck. Her Infuin: Kai (Shadow Seal: Release) is normally used to store the power she uses for her various healing techniques, mainly Sozo Saisei (Creation Rebirth), .which uses an abnormal amount of stored chakra to heal her wounds."

"The use of her seal changed when Naruto tried to heal her and ended up infusing her with the Kyuubi's own demonic chakra. Instead of her seal merely resembling a storage tank for chakra, it became a battery if you will. We had no idea what kind of change would occur, but since then it has become apparent that the Kyuubi's chakra has altered her DNA in order to use the power now within her."

"Our own seals were put in place because of the difficulty she was having in controlling the power. We put them on the critical points of her body in order to help control the direction and flow of power when she harnesses it."

Kurenai was able to grasp the concept, silently marveling at what her friends were capable of. "You said something about the Kyuubi's chakra changing her DNA. What are all the changes that took place?"

Tsunade took a deep breath, trying to decide just where to start. "That's a bit complicated to explain, just because we are still trying to figure out everything. I haven't aged since the age reduction. I still look like I did when I turned nineteen. From several blood tests I have found out that my cells are dividing like they are supposed to, carrying out the normal objectives, but my body doesn't show any of the degradation that happens as one should show when growing older."

"Then there are other changes like the strengthening of my bones, increased range of eyesight, tougher skin, greater chakra supply, glossier hair. My hypothesis is that during the time I was unconscious the Kyuubi's chakra swept through my system and made numerous changes to my body. The night of the attack, by the time I woke up, it was morning, and that was several hours later."

"As Morrigan said, the seal on my forehead was created to store any and all chakra I managed to absorb. It was meant to hold a certain amount and bleed off the excess so as not to overtax my body. A battery is a great analogy because that is what it is essentially now. The Kyuubi's chakra is stored there, circulating through my body at different speeds and intervals at all times. I would guess it is a little different than the seal created by the fourth in that it doesn't stop the foreign chakra from circulating through my body."

"I use the seals on my neck and hips as conduits, or circuits to help control the chakra. The feet and hands are the outlets, also used to control the chakra amount. The complexities of the network are a little much to get into, but it took some practice to find a balance. The chakra is extremely susceptible to any form of negative emotion, more specifically anger, rage, hatred and the like. The seals make it a lot easier to handle, but I really don't want to take the chance and find out what happens when I go over the edge."

Jiraiya agreed with her a hundred percent. An angry Tsunade was bad, but a hormonally imbalanced Tsunade with super-duper, freakish strength and speed was a nightmare come true.

"Can you do the same for Naruto?" Kurenai asked.

Urd answered her as she focused on some far away point. "We don't know. Helping Tsunade was easy because even when considering the source of the problem, we only had to contain and work on the chakra itself. Naruto has a totally different problem on a much larger scale. To create a seal strong enough to totally seal the Kyuubi away, it would take an experienced team of Gods and Goddesses. Otherwise the same thing will happen again years from now."

"So there isn't anyway to help him, is there?" Shizune said, the dejected tone of voice noticed by everyone.

"I didn't say that," Urd retorted. "Just at this moment our knowledge is a bit limited. I'm going back to Heaven in a few says to see if I can get any input. I'm sure someone has an answer."

Jiraiya cut in before anyone else could speak. "When are we going to tell him who his family was, more specifically his father?"

"His family?"

Jiraiya looked at Tsunade before turning his attention back to the puzzled Kurenai. "Naruto's father is our own beloved Fourth Hokage. Naruto's mother is a direct descendant of Hattori Hanzo. Their clan has been ruled by the founding family for years. She is the third generations firstborn daughter."

Urd and Morrigan looked around the room, wondering why everyone else seemed so stunned by the news.

"Who is Hattori Hanzo?" Urd asked.

"Hattori Hanzo is considered by some people to be the most powerful shinobi to ever exist. When the villages first began forming and shinobi starting aligning themselves with the Hidden Leaf, Hattori declined joining, opting to create his own village to oversee. Through the years the Hidden Leaf have kept a secretive relationship to the clan, only the highest up in ANBU, the council, and Hokage have knowledge of it. How all this relates to my student, apparently during one of the meetings between Arashi and the Hattori Hanzo the third, his daughter caught the eye of Arashi and after meeting each other the rest, as they say, is history." Shaking his head in exasperation Jiraiya still found it hard to believe. "I had no idea he was even dating someone until the day he told me he was getting married."

"What happened to her?" Shizune asked.

"She died in childbirth," Tsunade answered. "I have the records. Sarutobi kept them hidden in his office. With the secrecy behind the Hattori clan the last thing they wanted was the knowledge that Arashi wed someone from that clan known by everyone."

"Naruto's father is the very same man that sealed the Kyuubi inside him and his mother is from a super-secret clan that no one except a few people knew of. I'm not surprised," Morrigan said, thinking of everything that already happened in the short time-span of his life. "I can also take a guess as to why he wasn't told this. After the attack, with no one to watch over him, Sarutobi thought the safest route was to change Naruto's surname, and remove any information linking him to his dead parents."

"Jiraiya nodded. "It would seem so. Also, with the number of enemies that would do anything to get Naruto off the Leaf's hand, it was the most prudent thing to do."

"Can we go visit this village? To see if Naruto has any remaining relatives left," Urd asked.

Tsnunade looked at the Goddess, perplexed as to why she never thought of that. "That's not a bad idea. It might take a few days to get everything together, but we can make a trip out of it. I need a vacation anyway."

Shizune looked at Tsaunde with not a little concern. "Tsunade-sama, I don't think Hokage's take vacations."

"I don't see why not. This one will."

As the group fell into a lighter tone of conversation, Kurenai looked at her watch and recoiled in shock. "I didn't know it was this late in the afternoon. How long have we been talking?"

Shizune looked up at the clock on the wall. "It's almost four in the afternoon. I better get going."

Urd smirked. "Hot date, Shi-chan?"

Shizune squirmed under the gazes of everyone in the room. "Umm…"

"I hope it's not with that Kakashi bum. My God, what a loser."

The glare Shizune shot Morrigan had enough power to melt paint off the walls of the room. "He is not a bum, or a loser!. He just has some issues he has trouble working through. Nothing time and positive encouragement will not fix."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow in question. "Very astute observation Shizune. Just how did you come upon such an answer?"

Just realizing the slip-up, Shizune could only pout and hang her head.

Morrigan tried to alleviate some of the younger girl's misery. Some, but not all of it. "Don't worry about it. You could have done a lot worse."

Kurenai gave a half-hearted chuckle. "You're not really helping any."

"Wasn't trying to."

Too used to the way things went in the Uzumaki home, Shizune made her goodbyes and headed toward the front door to leave. Putting her shoes back on, she straightened her clothing and reach for the doorknob, only to jerk back when it was shoved open by someone from the outside.

"I'm hooooooooooooooooooooome."

Shizune looked at the intruder, growling when she had to clap her hands over her ears or else suffer from hearing loss.

No doubt about, if the quick glance didn't tell her who it was, then the volume of the voice was enough warning to let her know Naruto was back. Hopefully Kakashi won't think she was ignoring him tonight as her hearing slowly returned.

She saw someone push their way past Naruto and tried to figure out who was the oddly dressed little girl traveling with him.

"Naruto who is your friend?"

As the two walked in, by now everyone present in the house was making their way toward the door, but Morrigan pulled up short when she caught sight of the person standing next to Naruto.

"B.B. Hood? What are you…"

The sweet little girl Naruto had taken so much time to get to know completely disappeared, replaced by a psychotic killer armed with a rocket launcher that looked oddly comfortable on her small shoulders. Naruto could only stare in open-mouthed horror as she pulled the trigger and let the rocket fly point blank into his home.

* * *

Sasuke took the small break between another one of his grueling training sessions to think. Despite the hatred festering in his gut, today he was strangely content. He did not think happiness would ever be an emotion he would feel until his brother was killed, and even then, the black stain of loss that so coated his soul would forever prevent him from enjoying his life.

But Sasuke had not left Konoha to be happy. He left to gain a greater power. To train under Orochimaru to reach a level capable of destroying his only remaining family member. And after three years he was faster, stronger, and smarter, all things shinobi strived for in their training.

No one in the Hidden Sound compound was remotely close to his level of power. Only Kabuto and Orochimaru himself could pose any sort of challenge. But that amounted to nothing in the grander picture. His brother destroyed an entire clan of trained ninja, and through the years he had only grown stronger. His greatest power being his use of the Mangekyou Sharingan. To counter such an elite ability Sasuke needed something, a trump card of his own.

Then there was Naruto to consider. Just thinking about his defeat in the valley completely destroyed Sasuke's good mood. Kabuto had told him he lost to the moron, using some claim of Naruto having a power a lot of people were interested in, his brother being one of those people. Sasuke didn't care if Naruto had his own guardian angel, he should not have lost, it was impossible.

Taking a long, drawn out breath, Sasuke continued his walk through the forest. It did not matter now. He would take care of both problems at the same time. Since his brother was after Naruto, tracking one would lead to the other and he would have conquered both goals in one fell swoop.

Continuing his walk, there was something that sounded like giggling coming from somewhere. Curious to see who would be foolish enough to play in a shinobi training field, he trailed after the noise, coming to a field of downed trees.

Running a critical eye around the area, to Sasuke's disbelief it looked like someone had taken a blade and seamlessly cut through the impossibly thick tree bark. No one he knew of in Orochimaru's service had enough skill to use such a technique.

"Then who did this?" he thought aloud.

"I'm sorry, I was just having a little fun."

Hand going to the hilt of his sword Sasuke spun around, Sharingan eyes activated, and prepared a counterattack…

And stopped himself cold.

"Hi, I'm Lilith," the young succubus introduced herself to the young Uchiha while flying on a cloud of bats.

* * *

AN: Thanks go to JohnnyG who proofread this piece. As busy as he is he takes time out to read this and Ican't thank him forhis help enough.

I must give a shout-out to Don't Really Care who writes the story 'Shadow Fox.' The story is good, and anytime someone writes a different kind of Naruto it's a pleasing change, but I'm giving him props because of his rants. Man it's hilarious. He goes from the Naru/Hina lovers, to the Saku/Sasu lovers, to self insert fics. No one is safe from his wrath. He even writes his own versions at the end of each chapter. If you got a few minutes of free time check it out. Just don't drink anything while reading.

Got a couple emails concerning Kurenai's fate. Fan's of the vivacious kunoichi. Fear not. I have already written her into a most promising spot. It won't be for some time coming, but she winds up in a very, very nice setting. Can't go too much farther into details but I think a lot of you will love it. As for Shizune and Kakashi. I like it. Nuff said. He's an emotionally crippled, hentai obsesses, super ninja. And she's Tsunade's number one apprentice. I think they'll almost single-handedly make up for the loss of life in Konoha by repopulating the village with their outstanding genes.

This chapter had a lot of new info concerning our characters, two new introductions, and the beginning of Naruto actually getting the girls. All in all I say it went pretty well. The first draft I wrote of this chapter had Lilith following Naruto home and Marller meeting Sasuke, but after I sent it off to be proofed I changed my mind. At this point in time the last thing Naruto needs is another female to worry about, so B.B. Hood took Lilith's place.

You don't know who B.B. Hood is, think Little Red Riding Hood with psychotic tendencies, lives the life of a bounty hunter, and is able to wield enough weaponry to single-handedly run her own black market. Look her up. There isn't anyone like her. Lilith? In a nutshell, she the sealed portion Morrigan's power given life. That's about as far as I'm getting into it, but wikipedia is always a great source of info if you want to know more. The Hattori clan. Hanzo Hattori is the kick-ass shinobi from Samurai Showdown, he also is a real life figure, who apparently kicked ass in real life as well. In the coming chapters more of their family relating to the Naruto world will be told.

Finally, don't expect another update this fast again. I think I was just pumped up about the new act.


End file.
